DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I are planning to get married in August, and we have reserved everything: church, reception venue, music, cake, etc. Our wedding is going be an affair of 200 people.

With what is currently happening in the United States, we are waiting before sending out invitations -- deciding if we can still have our big wedding, or will have to switch to a very scaled-down backyard wedding of 50 people.

If we do have a scaled-down wedding, how do we go about explaining to all the guests that we won’t be able to invite all of them? Also, should we expect the wedding vendors to refund our deposits?

GENTLE READER: Unfortunately, given the rapidly changing guidelines, it is possible that the scaled-down version may be prohibited, as well. While distressing, it does help with your immediate problem of whom to choose to invite, and how to tell them.

Rather than risk alienating friends and relatives -- doubtless in need of something to look forward to -- Miss Manners recommends that you send out cancellation notices, expressing the hope of rescheduling in the as-yet-unknown future, to everyone who is saving the date. This should help with the vendor situation, as well. Although many are offering refunds, it is obviously financially less devastating for them to reschedule if you are able to manage it.

In the meantime, you may want to consider getting legally married, so that you and your fiance may enjoy the legal privileges now. Many affianced have done online ceremonies that can be broadcast to everyone -- and while not a replacement for being there in person, it would be a respite from the current monotony and a way that everyone could be involved.

But then you must wait it out. If it turns out that the small backyard celebration (not reenactment, please, if you are by that time married) is still attainable later in the year, issue new invitations and ask your previous vendors for refunds -- or, where applicable, scaled-down versions of their wares. (They will likely be so grateful for your not canceling earlier that they will be eager to help.)

You need not explain to people who are not invited to this smaller celebration. As with any small wedding, you may say, if asked, that it was just for a small circle of intimates, especially given the circumstances.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Twice, on different occasions, I have received empty containers, like empty DVD boxes or empty spirits bottles. I’m offended. Should I be?

GENTLE READER: Yes. But more so at your friends’ incompetence at thievery.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I purchased a house two years ago, and at some point would like to have a housewarming party to celebrate. Is there a time limit in which to have a housewarming party? I’m still working on renovations.

GENTLE READER: Then call it a Renovation Party. But only for your own justification. On invitations, it should simply be referred to as “a party,” lest it sound like a two-year-delayed grab for presents.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 58-year-old woman who looks much younger than I am, slim and fit thanks to decades of working out. Two years ago, I was diagnosed with a cluster of autoimmune disorders, among them alopecia. Within 18 months, I lost all my hair.

I wasn’t going to let that stop me from going to the gym. After my workout, I typically wrap my head in a towel when in transit to and from the shower. After I dress, I remove it and put on my wig, in full view of whoever is in the area.

Most of the women in the locker room have supported me through my hair loss. However, every few months I have an encounter like this recent one: A woman in her mid-40s, whom I had never seen before, asked me if I was in treatment. (I had just gotten out of the shower and was only wearing a towel, which is an odd moment to start a conversation.) I told her I was in treatment, but I didn’t have cancer. This was followed by a barrage of questions: “What do you have? How long have you had it? Will your hair grow back? Is it grave?” She even asked me if I lost my pubic hair.

Then she launched into a monologue about her breast cancer, her mastectomy, chemo, and her own hair loss and regrowth. I tried several times to politely end the conversation and get dressed, but she was relentless.

This is the sixth or seventh time this has happened to me. It is always cancer survivors who are looking to bond. While I appreciate what survivors went through, I find it upsetting to be expected to participate in an impromptu support group.

I am a very private person. I don’t participate in alopecia groups, let alone support groups for a disease I don’t have.

Autoimmune issues can be exacerbated by stress, and I find these encounters extremely stressful and intrusive. I would never approach anyone about their medical issues. I am at a loss as to how to prevent this from happening, or at least to quickly terminate these conversations. Hasn’t anyone heard of HIPAA?

GENTLE READER: Your reference to the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act caught Miss Manners’ attention -- not because she pretends to be a lawyer, but because it reminds her of the current swirl of contradictions around privacy.

Consumers are rightly concerned about companies using data about them captured online, while simultaneously inundating social media sites with confessions that used to be considered private. HIPAA demands confidentiality of persons who handle medical information in their professional capacities, not private individuals seeking emotional support for their medical conditions.

Your shower inquisitor may have remembered her doctor’s advice that social support can help in managing serious illness, and therefore mistakenly felt deputized in imposing on you an unasked-for, and unwelcome, shower support group.

The solution, when your polite attempts to end the conversation have failed, is a firm “Excuse me, I have no experience with cancer.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: It is my understanding that when walking on a sidewalk, one should walk on the right side of the path. And now, with the requirement for social distancing, couples or groups should walk single-file when passing others coming in the opposite direction to allow for a 6-foot clearance, if possible. What is the proper response when people either don’t understand this or choose to ignore it? I often find myself stepping off the sidewalk and into the street or a driveway in order to avoid these people. Other than glaring at them as they pass, is there a proper way to inform them?

GENTLE READER: Not having the power to lock people up, etiquette can seldom guarantee that you will change another person’s behavior -- only that you will have made every effort short of rudeness or force.

This is why governments get involved in pandemics. Miss Manners assures you that crossing the street to avoid someone, stepping onto a driveway and waiting, or stepping into the street -- presuming that you are not putting yourself in even more imminent danger -- will make your point. The glare is optional.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son is 19 years old and eats like he’s a 6-year-old. He uses his hands and eats very quickly. How do I nicely tell him to slow down and eat with more manners and couth?

GENTLE READER: Teaching table manners is high on the list of parental responsibilities, so it concerns Miss Manners that you have only interested yourself in the problem at this late date.

But she is encouraged that you were on track at one point, since 6-year-old eating habits differ from those of infants.

It is time for a serious talk -- two, actually: you with your son, and Miss Manners with you. Explain to your son that when he goes out into the world, people will judge him by his behavior, not just his good heart. It is therefore time to work on his table manners. This will be more convincing if you can demonstrate and correct, rather than merely observe.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When someone sends out an email invitation to multiple people, how should you respond? Just to the person who sent it, or “reply to all”? I usually respond to all, but I’m wondering if this has been rude.

GENTLE READER: In sending a single invitation to multiple people, your host obscured the nature of the communication, which was a series of separate invitations to individual people; etiquette sees no direct connection between the invitation to Mary and the one to Bob. The proper response by the guest is therefore to the host, not the entire list.

Miss Manners recognizes that this means that Mary -- who, after the divorce, has stopped attending parties at which Bob will be present -- will have to find some other means of divining his location. But it cuts down on a great deal of unnecessary email, an outcome she recognizes as beneficial even if she is not as passionate about extraneous email as some of her Gentle Readers.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)