DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a part-time university professor, I have of late been receiving emails from students who use the closing salutations "Best" and "Best regards." A bit of research reveals that many websites do recommend use of these terms by students.

Personally, I find these closings to be far too personal. They actually rankle me.

One way to find alternatives to such terms is to examine advice on writing to judges. After all, we as professors are, in effect, judging students' mastery of a subject and assigning them a grade. You'd never sign a letter or an email to a judge using "Best" or "Best regards," or even "Regards."

One would use "Respectfully," or similar terms. I find "Respectfully" or "Respectfully yours" far preferable to "Best," "All the best" or some such when writing to a professor.

Moreover, a simple "Thank you" at the end of an email in which a student is asking for a meeting, or to revisit an assignment, etc., seems quite sufficient to me, and does not verge across the line into overfamiliarity. What do you think?

GENTLE READER: It is true that "I remain your humble and obedient servant" was a bit cumbersome, and perhaps odd when writing to challenge the recipient to a duel.

Even among the few of us who have stayed with the more dignified "Sincerely yours" and "Yours truly" -- of whom even fewer know that the first is for social correspondence and the second for business -- the "yours" is often dropped from "sincerely."

Miss Manners is always cautioning people not to take such conventions literally, as have those who substitute the cheeky "Hi!" to avoid addressing the unloved as "dear." "Regards," which avoids protesting one's sincerity or truthfulness, is perhaps a bit breezy for a superior, but she would not want to invite arguments about the amount of respect felt toward individual professors.

Still, she can't help thinking "Best what?" when that word appears alone. Would it wear out those senders to add one more word?

But your request for thanks is premature. The writer can express appreciation, but only in the conditional tense -- "I would be very grateful if you would ..." -- in case you do not comply.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When you have your table linens professionally pressed, is it proper to leave the fold lines visible when setting the table, or do you have to press the folds out once it is on the table?

GENTLE READER: You will be relieved to hear that you need not iron the tablecloth while it is on the table, which would be hard on the wood. Miss Manners directs you to your nearest gallery of Renaissance art, where you will see those folds in paintings of the Last Supper.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Who is the correct person to host a baby shower?

GENTLE READER: Not the baby, as that would look greedy, which is a poor reputation to acquire as one begins one's life.

Although the same applies to the baby's relatives, many are willing to risk it in the interests of furnishing the nursery without expense.

But you have asked what is correct. Miss Manners must tell you that showers are correctly given by friends -- not by the person or the family being honored.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife insists that cutting up over-easy eggs on my plate before eating them is borderline Neanderthal behavior. Is it? (Many people I know do it.)

GENTLE READER: The pre-cutting of food should be generally reserved for those doing it on behalf of someone who might otherwise struggle or choke -- the young, the infirm, and apparently your Neanderthal friends.

Miss Manners does concede that everything after the initial ooze of the yolk is bound to be less satisfying, but chasing it around the plate with subsequent cuts should not be underestimated. It is also more proper.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: One evening, I had a gathering of eight friends for cards and a "white elephant" gift exchange. One guest, "Moira," came as a substitute player, sent by an absent member. None of us had met her before.

We tried to make her feel welcome, but she seemed a bit distant and cold, and never seemed to fit in very well.

When it came to the gift exchange, the first gift was selected and opened by "Heather," and it became evident how much she loved it. She rejoiced over it, exclaiming how tickled she was to receive it, telling us how she would use it and thanking the giver profusely. Knowing Heather, we knew she really meant it, and wasn't just being polite.

As we went around the circle, members could either select an unopened gift or "steal" an already-opened one from someone else. We came to Moira last, just because of where she was sitting in the circle. She opted to steal the gift from Heather, who was visibly disappointed to lose it. But she took it in stride and we moved on with the evening.

Later, however, several of the regular members remarked privately to me that they didn't think Moira should have stolen Heather's gift. They were upset that Moira would be so heartless as a one-time guest in someone else's home. If Heather had not expressed such delight over the gift, it would have been different.

By the way, there were a few other "steals" that evening, but none of them was so obviously hurtful. Yes, she was playing by the rules of the gift exchange, but we thought she showed very little sensitivity. What do you think? Are we wrong to think poorly of Moira?

GENTLE READER: Having no stakes in the social aspect of this gathering, Moira chose instead to win the game -- and not to read the room. For that, Miss Manners understands that you think poorly of her.

However, the situation might give you pause -- before future such gatherings -- to wonder why it is considered fun to be given presents, only to have them taken away. Poor Heather deserves a singing bass that she can keep.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been dating a widower from my church for more than four years. But when he comes to church, he acts like he does not know me.

Our church has a lunch program every Sunday, and he hasn't sat with me and eaten with me. When he goes on vacation, it's usually with his three kids, their spouses and his five grandkids. They have been to China, France, Germany, Iceland, Canada and Mexico.

Every holiday, he spends with his family. He also says he does not celebrate his birthday, so he does not even know mine. When I say, "I would be happy to receive fresh flowers," his response is, "My wife never asked for anything like that."

He does not introduce me to anybody and he likes to keep me as a secret friend. How should I handle this cheap, stubborn, self-centered person? Now I just talk to him occasionally on the phone, with no more intimacy.

He has said in the past that he wants to be my friend, but he has no plans for a future with me and he is not looking for marriage.

GENTLE READER: Yes, he has made that quite clear. Miss Manners recommends that you continue disassociating with him.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I want my twins to express thanks for their birthday gifts, but I am new to birthday party etiquette since we've only done small parties with family until now. They will be turning 6 and are able to write short sentences.

When we invited their classmates (all of them, of course) to the party, we used a website to send the invitations to the parents' email addresses, which were provided by the school. Do I now ask the parents by email for their street addresses so the twins can mail their thank-you cards? Or do I just have the kids type their thanks, whether on the same website or in an email to the parents?

Another question: If one gift was given for both girls, can one girl write the note and both sign it, or should I have them each write a separate note?

And, lastly, did I make a faux pas by using electronic invitations? (Asking for next year!)

GENTLE READER: Electronic invitations are allowed for informal events -- as long as the generic thank-you email that so often accompanies them is not issued afterward. However, asking for mailing addresses for written invitations -- that is, before the party -- shows far more finesse than doing so later, when it is obvious it is for the children's thank-you letters.

Because write those letters, Miss Manners is afraid, they must.

Learning to write a good thank-you letter on proper stationery is a rite of passage of which you should not deprive your twins. It is a chance to teach them gratitude and penmanship -- and patience, as they learn to construct rough drafts or copy useful sentences.

Miss Manners will, however, allow the children to divide the responsibility, each writing on behalf of the other (since two cannot, of course, write one letter): "Elise joins me in thanking you for the mini trampoline. We are both excited to use it and bounce out what Mommy calls our frightening amount of energy."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)