DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a lawyer, due to the nature of my work and the nature of the law, I’m frequently in the position of having to give unwelcome news to clients. This often results in entirely unwarranted verbal abuse -- a version of shooting the messenger.

While I sympathize with clients’ frustrations, and with personal challenges that may aggravate their responses to a situation, at times it is very difficult to take.

Is it more polite to 1. simply be silent and end the conversation quickly; 2. try to continue explaining, in hopes of advancing a client’s understanding; or 3. object to personal insults as they arise? Or a combination?

It’s perhaps relevant that none of the clients are paying for my time; they are being given free legal assistance. I only mention this to clarify that I have no financial motive to prolong an abusive encounter. But should their difficult life circumstances affect the extent to which I listen to abuse, for the sake of politeness?

GENTLE READER: “I understand that you are frustrated, but I am only relaying the message and trying to help you solve the problem. If you continue like this, I am afraid that I will no longer be able to assist.”

Miss Manners believes this a reasonable reaction, no matter what the financial relationship or hardship. After all, being polite is also free.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Last spring, I graduated from college, moved from the Midwest -- where many of my lovely friends and family reside -- to Seattle and started my career in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.

Recently, though, my job has required me to move back to Chicago, which is great. I will be very close to many of my aforementioned friends and family members, to whom I have announced this news.

In this process, I’ve been kindly offered housing opportunities by folks looking for a roommate. As much as I love my friends, and as much as I enjoyed having temporary co-habitants in college, I’ve since found that I prefer living alone.

When people ask, I’ve been telling them, “Thank you for the offer! Nothing against you or my previous roommates, but I plan to live by myself.” Is this an acceptable way to respond to these kind offers?

GENTLE READER: If you eliminate the middle phrase “Nothing against," Miss Manners will happily sign off on this response. Much like “No offense,” that phrase is guaranteed to have the opposite effect.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We relocated 900 miles and are attempting to acclimate ourselves to a lovely town. We’ve been pleased to learn that our neighbors are just as willing to welcome and engage us as we are to approach and meet them.

On occasion, we receive the seemingly benign question of whether we have pets. When we respond that we do not, I’m sometimes taken aback by a somewhat overplayed “I’m so sorry” -- as if we or our lives are somehow incomplete or inadequate.

We know that we need not divulge our private reasons, but when someone oversteps social boundaries and seems to use the question as a dig or one-up, is there anything I should do -- other than stifle the urge to say that their pity is neither warranted nor wanted?

GENTLE READER: “Thank you, but we prefer it that way.” Pause. Pause. “Of course, yours are no doubt lovely and well-behaved ...”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I moved 10 years ago to a beautiful part of the country. When driving or riding with others, I am frequently startled by incredible scenes -- a massive volcanic mountain that suddenly appears around a corner, lake views where none were expected, bald eagles flying in front of the car.

These sights are so startling and beautiful, and I interrupt whatever conversation is taking place with exclamations. I don’t think I can help myself! “Look! An otter!” “Look at the massive antlers on that buck!” “Ooh, newborn deer twins!” “That eagle is enormous!”

I constantly interrupt conversations, but seriously, how can I not? That glacier wasn’t there a minute ago! Am I rude?

GENTLE READER: Your enthusiasm is charming, as long as it does not overpower the conver -- squirrel!

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am the cook in our family, and I enjoy it very much. Some members of my wife’s family, all of whom are very sweet and loving, recently visited us, and I made dinner for us all.

One of them went way overboard with her compliments, and I was at a loss as to how to handle it.

Her, after the first bite: “Oh, Larry, this pot roast is delicious!”

Me: “Thank you!”

After the second bite: “Oh, my gosh, you are SUCH a good cook!”

Me: “I’m really glad you’re enjoying it.”

Third bite: “Wow, this is really good!”

Me: “Thanks a lot!”

Next bite: “Mmm! This is just so good!”

Me: “And there’s plenty more, so enjoy.”

And on and on and on. Can you help me? This will surely come up again when they next visit.

I mean, I like compliments as much as the next guy, but enough’s enough. Is there a point where I just smile and nod? Do I keep trying to come up with different versions of “thank you”?

GENTLE READER: That, or recite the recipe at such length that she will just have to keep eating without comment.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am an amateur cook and baker. A number of years ago, I completed a hobbyist-level course at a renowned cooking school.

Earlier this year, my wonderful daughter-in-law was charged with arranging a simple, intimate wedding for her father and his fiance. I’m not well-acquainted with the wedding couple, but to help my DIL, I baked and delivered a simple, two-tiered cake to the wedding venue.

After the wedding, I didn’t hear from the couple, but my DIL said several guests complimented the cake.

At a later social event, I saw the couple for the first time since their wedding. In front of several people, he said, “That wedding cake you made was no good. I would have thought the guy who attended a fancy cooking school could have done better than that.”

I was stunned in the moment and didn’t reply. I think my silence was a good response, but was there something I might have said to express my chagrin?

GENTLE READER: “I’m sorry it disappointed you. Your daughter said that other people enjoyed it, but she must have been mistaken.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I have a wide circle of friends and an active social life. The vast majority of our friends are very considerate guests and hosts.

But we have one group of friends with a very relaxed approach to socializing. These friends will give noncommittal responses to invitations, accept invitations but cancel at the last minute, or arrive alone and state that their spouse could not make it.

In our book, these were not friends worth having. We stopped issuing invitations to them and stopped accepting theirs to us.

I thought that would be the end of it, until I encountered several members of this group while alone at a function. They approached me and expressed how much they missed us and wanted to see us again. Their entreaty seemed quite genuine, not just a vague “We should try to get together sometime” sort of thing.

Nevertheless, I was unmoved. The most socially acceptable response in such situations is simply to agree but not follow through, but I find it difficult to be insincere. While I am certainly able to express tact, I think even this quality eluded me.

I found myself saying, “Gosh, you know, I don’t really think that is going to work out.” For what it’s worth, I said it brightly and evenly, as if I were declining a bowl of ice cream, then quickly changed the subject to how the evening was going.

After a few more perfunctory exchanges, they left, looking more puzzled than insulted.

I know there are a myriad of ways that I could have handled this situation insincerely, but what else could I have said that would have maintained my sincerity and dignity? Since we concluded that these were not true friends in the first place, should I even really care at this point?

GENTLE READER: Although Miss Manners defends your decision not to socialize with impolite people, this is not license to tell them why. Doing so is rude -- and for that reason, she sees little dignity in the sincerity you seem to prize.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m an auto claims insurance adjuster, and occasionally take calls from customers whose loved ones have been killed in an accident. While I can almost always assist with their insurance needs, I don’t know how to end the call.

It feels wrong and insensitive to end the call the way I normally would, with something along the lines of, “Have a great day!” I want to express my empathy, but don’t know what else to say.

What is an appropriate, empathetic and professional thing to say before ending these calls?

GENTLE READER: The empathetic and professional thing to say is, “Once again, I’m sorry for your loss and if there is any further way I can be of assistance, please let me know.”

It is no less appropriate for its lack of originality -- something Miss Manners sees as a virtue, given how badly it often ends when people improvise in an attempt to demonstrate greater feeling.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)