DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I were at an informal outdoor party for a child’s birthday. Right when we arrived, the hosts offered cold bottles of good beer.

If I’m drinking good beer, I like to let it breathe in a glass or even a plastic cup. I accepted a beer from the host, and then -- thinking there might be cups available that I just didn’t see -- asked for a cup or glass.

The host said sure, walked about 10 feet into his kitchen and returned with a glass. The beer tasted wonderful.

But when we got home, my wife told me I was dreadfully rude, and that I should have overlooked my preference for a beer that breathed in consideration of the host. I disagreed, pointing out that if the situation were reversed, I would gladly get a cup or glass for my guests. Who’s right?

GENTLE READER: There you go, ruining it for the rest of us.

Had you asked that the birthday cake be served on a gold plate, your wife would have had a point: It is impolite to make unreasonable requests of one’s host. Miss Manners does not consider a glass unreasonable -- a point that would have been easier to make had you kept to yourself the part about it making the beer taste better.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I take long walks around my apartment complex every morning. So do many others.

Everyone seems to feel obligated to greet each other with “good morning” as they pass, which happens with such great frequency that I am distracted from my pacing and my thoughts.

Most of these people are complete strangers to me, and I want to keep it that way lest I get trapped in many conversations when I am trying to exercise.

GENTLE READER: Even if Miss Manners were inclined to help you -- presumably by stamping out all attempts at casual politeness -- would you still not be distracted by the need to growl at each passerby?

A simple nod without breaking your stride will, instead, satisfy the dictates of basic politeness, and seems to run a low risk of creating deep or lasting friendships.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We invited my child’s classmate to join us for a week at a rental place at the beach. He is a huge eater, as large, growing, football-playing middle school boys tend to be.

I find myself left with some residual resentment because his mom didn’t send him with any spending money, let alone send along some cookies or otherwise offer to contribute something to the cost of the trip.

When I dropped him off, neither she nor he said "thank you." They got in their car and drove away, never mentioning the trip again. I’m feeling reluctant to include him in the future, though I feel bad for this unkindness.

GENTLE READER: Not issuing a future invitation is not an unkindness -- nor is assuming, as they did, that the host will provide for the guest. Though Miss Manners agrees that failing to say "thank you" is a justifiable reason not to extend more invitations.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend of ours hosted a brunch for several new parents. The brunch was on a hot summer day and held squarely in the middle of morning nap time.

When the five other couples arrived, we found out that the host’s baby was still asleep, and we had to sit around for 20 minutes (with hot babies in tow) waiting for the host’s baby to finish his nap.

Is this fair play or foul?

GENTLE READER: Babies not being great conversationalists at the best of times, Miss Manners would have thought 10 parents, hot babies and all, could have improvised a party on their own while young Jethro finished his nap.

Whether the resulting event would be fair or foul would, she supposes, depend on the moods of all involved -- and whether sustenance was withheld pending Jethro’s arrival.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am an 89-year-old lady. My daughter is taking me on my very first cruise. She insists that I must wear nail polish on my toenails if I wear open-toe sandals.

I have not worn any kind of nail polish since I was in my 20s. I do not want to polish my toenails, or my fingernails, either. My toenails are neatly cut regularly by my podiatrist.

What should I tell her? She is very firm about this.

GENTLE READER: Cruises involve a lot of free time. So while Miss Manners does not want to pick a fight, she does think it would be well to establish from the start that the primary activity on this cruise will not be Telling Mama How To Behave.

If “Thank you, but I don’t like to wear nail polish” is not working, you may have to escalate to, “In my day, ladies did not do that.” Or even, “I’ll be at the bar.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I own a condo at the beach with two other couples, dividing up the weeks among us. Our agreement is that, at the end of their week, each couple will leave the condo in tiptop shape -- fresh sheets, scrubbed bathrooms, vacuumed carpets, etc.

This has worked out well and saved enormously on cleaning fees.

During the summer months, my husband and I frequently invite friends to join us during our week. Is it appropriate to enlist the guests in the cleanup if we are all leaving the same day?

Some guests have volunteered, unsolicited, to clean their bathroom and change the sheets on their bed. Others seem to be oblivious to what needs to be done after their departure. Would it be unseemly to ask them to participate in some of the cleanup activities?

GENTLE READER: It will depend on how well you know the guests and how much warning you give them.

If the guests are your husband’s boss and his third wife, you may wish to do the cleaning yourselves after they leave. If, instead, it is your kid brother with whom you have shared chores since you were teenagers, Miss Manners leaves you to it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work in an office with around 30 people. There are several bathrooms available to the staff, and I have used all of them at one time or another.

When I am occupying any of them, I’ve noticed people never knock before trying to open the door. They will grab the handle and pull several times before they walk away. It is easy to see from the outside when the bathroom is occupied because of the type of door lock.

Is it not common courtesy to knock before attempting to open a single-occupancy bathroom? I do this even at home, and definitely when entering a public restroom.

GENTLE READER: Uh, you do realize that they are in a hurry, don’t you?

Not that Miss Manners would excuse bad manners on that account. But for your colleagues to assume that the stall is empty and that they can therefore go ahead and open the door does not strike her as callous. Merely expedient.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At a book club meeting at our local library, the conversation got slightly off topic for a short period of time. One of the participants said, loudly, “For (expletive's) sake, will this ever end?”

Everyone in the group ignored her, pretending to not hear, and the conversation quickly returned to the book we had read.

My daughter (who is also in the group) and I wished we had said something to her. How could we have told her that her remark was unkind without humiliating her?

GENTLE READER: What would you have said? “If you talk like that, we’re going to wash out your mouth with soap”?

Wait -- Miss Manners just realized that that is what you could have said. Club members can make rules with consequences for violations, but they cannot randomly scold one another.

So your best response is either to ignore the remark, which is a reproof in itself, or to make a joke of it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I placed a rush order (two hours' notice) for four items for my local grocery store’s curbside service. I parked in the appropriate spot, informed them I was there, then proceeded to wait almost 30 minutes for my items. (Someone from the store did assure me, about 10 minutes in, that my order was coming.)

When my order arrived, the young man apologized for my long wait with what seemed like great sincerity. I told him "thank you" and asked him to place my items in the trunk. He then apologized again, wearing a look that seemed to indicate he was waiting for a different response.

I thanked him again, both after the second apology and after my groceries were safely in my trunk. Was there something else I should have said?

GENTLE READER: Of course you know that he was hoping for a tip. And while Miss Manners sympathizes with tip fatigue, you should have given him one. He may or may not be paid a pittance, but he depends on tips. And it wasn’t his fault that the order was delayed.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)