DEAR MISS MANNERS: My best friend and I frequently get together for lunch at local restaurants. I am sometimes embarrassed by what my friend says to servers, and I don’t know how I can get her to stop.

If the service is good, she is very effusive with her praise, and ties up the server by chatting as if they were now BFFs. If she thinks the service is subpar, she proceeds to instruct the server on how to do better in the future. Mind you, she has never worked in a restaurant.

One time we had a young waiter who was in training, and my friend was telling him how to stack up the plates as he cleared the table. I couldn’t help myself and just blurted out, “Please stop.”

Should I ignore this from now on? What could I say to get her to realize that this is embarrassing?

GENTLE READER: If “Please stop” did not work, Miss Manners is afraid a more polite approach will not, either.

But if similarly pressed, she would say, “Let’s let these servers do their job and just enjoy one another’s company, shall we?” She would omit the part where she tells your friend that stacking plates as you remove them is improper in the first place.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the appropriate way to address people who cut in line, specifically at theme parks with long lines (60+ minutes) and limited staff?

My family was recently at a large, well-attended theme park, and had multiple encounters with individuals cutting in line. Half of our group felt it was fine to block the line cutters and prevent them from continuing, while the other half felt that doing so was disruptive to other guests and not worth the aggravation.

Given that there were no theme park workers in sight to address the problem, what would you suggest?

GENTLE READER: “Excuse me, but there is a line here and the rest of us are waiting in it.” In this case, Miss Manners believes that words are more effective than (disruptive) actions.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have an acquaintance who has been in my home a few times, even though I’ve never invited him over. He’s shown up at my door without calling or texting, and asks to come in for tea.

He’s pleasant, and I don’t mind the company -- when I’m free. But on a recent visit, he said I should keep my home tidier if I wanted him to come over again.

I keep my house clean, but he’s shown up when I’ve been in the middle of folding laundry, for example. Or when I had some papers on the coffee table, a towel hanging to dry in the bathroom, my gym shoes beside the door and a coffee cup beside the kitchen sink.

When I’m expecting guests, I make my home look like nobody lives there. But am I really obligated to keep my home constantly spotless just in case someone drops in?

GENTLE READER: No. But you also do not have to let this person in just because he shows up at your door.

Miss Manners suggests you practice saying, “This is not a good time for me.” No reason necessary. If he presses for one, you might say, “I’m afraid my house is not up to your standards. I will be sure to invite you over when it is.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended a live theater performance. Seated directly in front of me was a very tall woman whose hair was styled in an updo that added -- seriously -- five or six inches to her height!

I could not see the stage at all unless I leaned uncomfortably left or right, and each time she shifted in her seat, I had to shift in mine. I couldn’t imagine anything I could politely say to her about this, so I just did my best to look around her.

Does Miss Manners have any suggestions for this situation? At the very least, can she ask tall people to consider others when styling their hair for the theater?

To be fair, the venue was a former movie theater, so the seating was designed not for viewing a stage performance, but for looking at a large, high screen. I will also mention that while I did not engage with her directly, this person seemed to be very lovely in interacting with her friends.

GENTLE READER: Sure. Because she probably looked fabulous and was being widely admired by them. They did not have to sit behind her.

Miss Manners has witnessed enough awards shows to notice that extreme hair and costume choices may be photo-worthy, but they ignore the comfort of seat companions who would like to watch the performance -- or at least not get an aggressive feather in the eye while doing so.

Miss Manners admires fashion, but will remind her readers that consideration of others must be regarded when you are sharing close seating quarters. Any outsized accoutrements should at least be made removable.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A longtime acquaintance joined us for a casual meal at our home. Eating her sandwich resulted in a scattering of crumbs on the table. I was surprised to see her hand sweep the crumbs from the table to the floor -- twice! -- while she ate. Our home is not a beer-soaked bar.

Possible choices in the future: 1. Lightly say, “Hey, those crumbs won’t clean themselves up!” 2. Say, “Excuse me while I clean up your space” as I do so, using a whisk broom. 3. Hand her a wet wipe -- “Ants, you know!” or 4. Sadly, do not invite her to our table again. Which would you suggest?

GENTLE READER: 5. “Perhaps I should get you a bigger plate. That one does not seem to be doing this messy sandwich any favors.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I spent considerable time shopping for just the right statement necklace to complement my fairly simple wedding dress. I thought I had made the perfect choice with a piece of costume jewelry. But at our wedding reception, a friend of my husband’s approached me and asked, “So, are those REAL diamonds?”

I was shocked by the question, but before I could think of an answer, a relative piped in with, “Of course not! If those were real diamonds, they could have afforded to have their reception in a nicer place!”

How could I have replied at that point?

GENTLE READER: “I’m so glad that both of you could be here to celebrate us.” This should be said with a beatific bridal smile -- the sincerity of which Miss Manners hopes your guests will be questioning for the rest of their rude and impertinent lives.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have some friends who regularly host a tailgate party in the parking lot of the college football stadium near our house. We walk to the tailgate, and then go home once the game begins.

Hosting this tailgate is “their thing,” and they seem to enjoy being hosts.

Our other interactions with these friends center around our young children, and rarely involve a meal as substantial as what is offered at the tailgate.

Normally, I would think it rude to try to pay a host for the food and drink we consume. However, given that this is a regular event, and that we are not able to host an event of similar cost and effort to return the favor, would it be appropriate to offer to pay them back for our season-long party attendance?

GENTLE READER: Tell them how generous their tailgating parties are, and ask if there is any -- unspecified -- way in which you can take some of the burden off of them. When they say they are happy to host, Miss Manners recommends falling back to a dinner invitation that does not involve the children.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I moved to a new city and am lining up new physicians for me and my family. I have noticed that several doctors introduce themselves with their titles, but address me using my first name. For example, “Hi Ann, I’m Dr. Smith.”

I don’t mind the use of my first name, but I would also assume if the doctor feels comfortable using my first name, they should feel comfortable with me using theirs.

That doesn’t seem to be the case. I tried that at my last appointment and the doctor seemed completely taken aback. Was I rude to address the doctor by first name?

GENTLE READER: Trust Miss Manners when she assures you that you would have had even more fun if you had addressed your new physician as Dr. Smith but asked that she address you as Mrs. Jones in return. In response to the shocked look on her face you could then have innocently explained that it was just a question of mutual respect.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How should I react when an acquaintance begins to tell me a story he has told before, and that I don’t care to hear again from start to finish?

I usually smile, gasp and interrupt him at the sentence break with a “Right!” as if he’s reminding me of the most charming anecdote I’ve ever heard.

Simply telling him I’ve heard the story before seems blunt, and pretending I’ve never heard it is a lie. I’m sure you’re in this position often and have prepared a graceful response.

GENTLE READER: Listening to a regurgitated story politely may be tedious, but calling it a lie strikes Miss Manners as overly dramatic.

It is not impolite to say, “Yes, you mentioned that!” so long as you can express it with genuine good nature, being sure to include the exclamation point.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)