DEAR MISS MANNERS: I don’t know what to do about my boyfriend's habit of always canceling plans.

We have been together for a little over three years, and when he does follow through with plans, we have a great time together. The relationship is great otherwise. I have discussed this with him several times, but nothing seems to change.

There are periods of time when he won’t cancel, but then he starts doing it again. I don’t want to leave him, but I also can’t put up with his canceling.

GENTLE READER: If the pattern starts up again, Miss Manners suggests you issue a gentle ultimatum: “You seem to be too busy to see me right now. Please let me know when your schedule eases up and you won’t be compelled to change plans at the last minute. In the meantime, I will assume that you are not available.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Throughout our 54 years together, my husband and I have lived in, and traveled to, many countries, both for pleasure and business. Now, in our dotage, we enjoy cruising because it combines our love of traveling and boats.

When we happened to mention an upcoming cruise to some acquaintances, they unexpectedly purchased tickets for the same cruise. It happened to be a 10-week trip, and we spent the entire 10 weeks trying to dodge them.

We were not successful. They insisted that we dine together, and thus began 10 weeks of their special requests. For example, our waiter spent at least 30 minutes going over the dinner menu, describing exactly what each item was (e.g., sweetbreads) and whether it contained gluten, dairy, etc.

My husband and I have no dietary restrictions, but by the end of the trip, we were being served gluten-free and dairy-free foods just because of our dining companions. Worse, they ignored all the dress codes and were apt to use quite salty language.

Now, they want to cruise with us everywhere. They just found out about an upcoming cruise we are taking, and are actively pursuing tickets. How do we politely and firmly discourage this?

GENTLE READER: “My husband and I are looking forward to traveling alone this time. But we will be sure to let you know if we go on a group cruise in the future.” And then, Miss Manners suggests you keep a tight lid on your plans.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper response when an atheist sneezes, instead of "God bless you"? What about people you don't know? I had a lady give me a hard time when she sneezed and I didn’t say "bless you."

GENTLE READER: You could try saying “gesundheit,” but then by your logic, someone might think you were German.

Miss Manners suggests that you try to be less literal about an admittedly nonsensical convention. And if you leave out the God part, consider that no one said it has to be his blessing -- only a considerate human’s.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was picking up food at a restaurant when a young lady approached the counter to retrieve her order. She was wearing a lovely white dress. Unfortunately, her bright, colorful, patterned undies were quite visible through the dress’s fabric.

I was unsure how, or if, I should approach her to suggest pairing a slip or skin-tone undies with that particular dress. Does Miss Manners have any suggestions?

GENTLE READER: Since it is unlikely that you had an extra slip or skin-tone undies on your person, alerting this young lady to the perceived fashion faux pas might not have been welcomed. For all you know, this was a deliberate fashion decision on her part.

Miss Manners is all for telling strangers -- kindly and privately -- about wardrobe malfunctions, but in this case, nothing could have been immediately done. It would only have caused embarrassment -- not just for the young lady, but for you, who would have been caught staring at her bottom.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I are acquainted with an older couple, and the lady often "reminds" me that I am disabled. I believe she is simply reminding herself of my status in order to keep her acquaintances organized in her mind, but it is unkind.

She will insinuate that I spend most of my time napping during the day (which I do when I have a migraine). I already feel very guilty being home on disability while my husband is working full-time.

In addition, the chance that she is buzzed anytime she interacts with me is more than 50%. Her alcoholism makes her forgetful, but she seems stuck in a pattern of publicly tallying my losses, and I don’t want to spend time with her.

I have told her that real friends do not bring up our cares and illnesses. Should I simply tell her not to call me when she’s been drinking that day?

GENTLE READER: Or ever, Miss Manners would think.

Those over-50% odds are not in your favor, and you do not have to put up with a friend who insults you. You need not take her calls. If she asks, you can explain that your schedule has changed and you are not usually available.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wonderful partner and I will soon be attending his son’s wedding. This will be the first time he’ll see a lot of his former in-laws and friends since the divorce a few years ago, when they pretty much ghosted him.

He’s actually on good terms with his ex-wife now, but was hurt that most of those in her circle pinned him as the bad guy and unceremoniously cut him out of their lives. Therefore, he has no desire to exchange pleasantries with them.

Is there a good response to the inevitable (and fake) “Hey, how have you been?” or “Good to see you” greetings these people will give upon seeing him? Something between an equally fake reply and saying what he really feels?

GENTLE READER: “Thank you for coming.” This is not only cordial, but reminds these guests that your partner is also a de facto host -- and that they should tread lightly on his territory.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I used to be religious, many years ago, but I now identify as pagan -- meaning that I believe in the powers of Mother Earth, and that everything she’s created is sacred.

My beliefs are personal, and I don’t discuss them with others unless directly asked.

Because the majority of people believe in God, there’s a general societal belief that everyone does. I’ve been around those who speak freely about their beliefs to the point where I feel like I’m being beaten over the head.

I respect their beliefs, but at the same time, I’d like to say something to remind these speakers that not everyone shares them. How do I tell people that we nonbelievers do not want to hear about their religion ad nauseam?

GENTLE READER: Techniques for changing the subject of a conversation rely on a combination of surprise and persistence, Miss Manners notes. Those who dominate conversations usually do so by having relentless personalities -- and by never coming up for air.

With the right accomplice -- and the right timing -- you could interject, “Yes, our community subscribes to many different faiths. But perhaps that’s a topic for another time.” And then launch into a new topic with a willing partner.

Alternatively, when faced with a near-lecture on theology, you could expound on your beliefs in Mother Earth and her powers.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The man I’ve been dating for the last year doesn’t use the words “thank you” or “please.” When I’ve brought up the topic, he simply says, “It’s redundant to say that all the time.”

I asked him if he was at his office, and someone offered him coffee, would he say “no, thank you” or “yes, please”? He responded that he would.

From an early age, I was instructed to say “please” and “thank you.” My young nieces and nephews do so, and when I have children, I will expect the same from them.

How can I explain to him that these words are not "redundant," that they’re important for everyday use and that they're important to me?

GENTLE READER: Tell him that the morning latte you make for him, that he enjoys so much, has become redundant.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What do you think about people who start scanning their items at grocery store self-checkouts and sending them down the belt before one has finished bagging one’s own items?

I have experienced this rude and selfish behavior on several occasions. Today, when a lady behind me sent her items down the belt and they became intermingled with my own groceries, I felt like letting them stay that way and bagging them up with mine.

I suggest that grocery stores put up a sign that asks people to show courtesy and wait until the person ahead of them is done. Or perhaps the scanning device shouldn't operate until the bagging area is clear.

GENTLE READER: Is that not what the little plastic dividers are for?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)