DEAR MISS MANNERS: One of my in-laws will wait for a person to finish speaking, then say something on a completely different subject. No “hmmm,” “interesting” or any other noncommittal word to acknowledge what the other person was talking about.

If someone mentions an upcoming job interview, for example, he will talk about an unrelated story in the local news. If they tell everyone about a great new restaurant, he will start talking about a movie series.

According to his wife, his reason for doing this is “not knowing what to say about it.” If one of us wants to go back to the previous subject, before he changed it, would we be rude for doing so?

GENTLE READER: It depends on how you finesse it. Miss Manners would not want it to look as if you were doing the same thing to him.

She suggests modeling the correct way to segue in a conversation, saying, “I would love to hear more about that movie series, Jackson, but going back to that restaurant Caroline mentioned -- I’ve been meaning to try it. You say they have good hummus?”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a family member who eats so slowly that everyone gets antsy waiting for her, especially the kids. She only starts seriously eating when everyone else is finished. She takes tiny bites, chewing very slowly, while everyone watches her.

It feels controlling and attention-seeking. How can I politely start serving dessert before she is finished?

GENTLE READER: In a loud voice, meant to be addressed to the antsy kids (whether or not they actually asked), Miss Manners suggests announcing, “Normally we wait until everyone is finished eating, but I don’t want to rush Cousin Sophie. With your permission, Sophie, we will start to clear the dishes. But please let us know when you are ready for dessert.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When we go out to eat, my husband sits there across the table from me and flirts with other women, whether they're customers or restaurant workers. What should I say to him?

GENTLE READER: "Stop it."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When visiting our daughter, who is a graduate student, my husband and I went out to dinner with her, her boyfriend, her friend and the friend’s mother. The mother is a single parent, and we have met her a few times.

My husband and I paid for the meal, which we thought was the polite thing to do. But thinking about it afterwards, we realized that if the friend’s mother had a husband, we presumably would have split the check.

Also, the friend’s mother is quite wealthy -- in fact, wealthier than we are. If we find ourselves going out again, how should we approach the check?

GENTLE READER: Who is doing the inviting? This is the person who should pay, in most cases, regardless of wealth or marital status.

It would be gracious for this woman to reciprocate, but if you find that she is consistently not doing so, Miss Manners suggests you weigh the prospect of paying her portion (and resenting it) against the resentment of your daughter’s friend for having her mom excluded.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I visited my family with my newborn son, they could not stop talking about how handsome he was -- and how much cuter he was compared to his sister (my first child, who is 3 years old).

On that afternoon alone, I must have heard the words, “He looks much better than his sister” at least 15 times from my mom and my sisters. I was hurt and shocked they would say such negative things about a child, but I was just grateful my daughter was not with me. However, I doubt her presence would have stopped them.

Miss Manners, how was I supposed to respond to their negative comments? How do I prevent it from happening again, especially when my daughter is with me?

GENTLE READER: Grasp your new infant warmly, look deep into his eyes, and, with an appropriately silly expression, say, “They don’t mean it! Your sister was a beautiful baby, too! Yes she was! Yes she was!”

After 15 repetitions on both sides, everyone will be exhausted and ready for some adult conversation.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am new to online dating, and I’d like your advice on how to respond to "likes" when you’re not interested. I feel that some response to a message is appropriate, but I don’t want to give people the wrong idea. I also don’t really want to get into long conversations with those who don’t seem to be a good match.

Does it make a difference if they just send a "like," with no message? Or if they are outside my listed age range? I’m surprised and grateful that others are interested, and I want to treat everyone respectfully. Any suggestions?

GENTLE READER: This is an area where the etiquette -- such as it is -- is still evolving. But Miss Manners will try to assist.

One of the most confusing aspects of such businesses is that they cross the boundary between the commercial and the social -- not just without a thought, but without even realizing there is a distinction.

But in this case, that confusion is useful. The purpose of such sites is, as they would put it, to Meet Someone. So answering that first outreach when you are not interested -- whether it was a written message or a mere "like" -- will, indeed, give people the Wrong Idea.

Miss Manners therefore recommends against responding, which she justifies by application of the business etiquette rule that you are not required to return calls from strangers seeking to sell you something.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I used to frequent a coffee shop in the suburbs, where I would work on my laptop for a couple of hours before catching a train to the city. One day, as I was working, a man asked me to keep an eye on his laptop while he took a phone call outside.

I agreed, as my train would not depart for another 30 minutes and I assumed the call would be short. As the departure time got closer, the man was nowhere to be found, and his laptop still sat on the counter unattended.

I packed up my things and left to catch my train. It felt wrong to inconvenience another customer or employee by passing along the request to watch the laptop for an indefinite amount of time, but I know that I could have done better. What should I have done instead?

GENTLE READER: These days, unfortunately, one can no longer assume that the worst thing that will happen if a stranger leaves you holding a package is that they will not return before you have to catch your train.

It is therefore reasonable to add this to the growing list of things one never agrees to do, starting with accepting candy from strangers.

But Miss Manners can refuse anything graciously. In this case, she would have declined with an apology, explaining that she herself would be leaving to catch her train.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have been invited to a wedding that begins at 3:30 p.m. on a Thursday. We are thrilled for the couple.

However, I feel we should decline, as the bride and groom are sending a message -- with their choice of a midweek afternoon ceremony -- that they would prefer to have a small turnout. I believe we should say no, but send a thoughtful note and gift.

My husband feels that we should both take the day off from work and attend, and that declining would be punishing the couple for staying within their limited financial resources. Who is right?

GENTLE READER: Perhaps neither. The midweek scheduling might have nothing to do with the wedding budget. And even if the happy couple is economizing, Miss Manners notes that they meant to include you.

The problem with reading between the lines is that the print is so small. The safest assumption, when one receives an invitation, is that it means the host desires the pleasure of your company.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I go canoeing with several other retirees. One member of our group has a habit of squatting in the river to urinate instead of going behind a bush and dropping her drawers.

I don’t think she should assume that it is OK to ride in others’ cars in her peed-in shorts at the end of the day. She maintains that when she gets in the water, the river washes her shorts “as well as your washing machine.”

Do you have any thoughts on this?

GENTLE READER: Only that Miss Manners will be taking the bus home, thank you.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)