DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have an older home with just one bathroom. I make sure that all personal products are off the counter when we have guests, but we’ve still had people snoop in the medicine cabinet and in the cupboard under the sink.

My teenaged nephew once commented loudly about finding laxatives in the medicine cabinet. Another time, he talked about finding a large box of tampons under the sink.

My sister-in-law, his mother, was angry at me and said we shouldn’t have embarrassing things that guests could find. Should we be editing our medicine cabinet in case guests snoop?

GENTLE READER: Although Miss Manners has heard of a more effective solution, please do not say you got it from her.

The idea is to overload (some might say "booby-trap") the medicine cabinet before your snooping relatives arrive, so that when it is opened, things come tumbling out.

Alerted by the noise, you can then confront your nephew by asking sympathetically, and publicly, “Noah, dear, what were you looking for? Do you have a problem? Do you need some laxatives?”

Yes, this would take some work on your part. But you need only do it once.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: This year, I sent out Christmas cards as I did last year, to mostly the same group of people. I didn’t hear back from anyone who received my cards -- not a "thank you" or a "Merry Christmas" or anything.

Last year, I received a card back from almost everyone I sent one to; this year, I received one return card out of 30. I’m really confused by this, and I might not send them out again next year.

GENTLE READER: Indeed, fewer people seem to be sending Christmas cards. But rather than feeling hurt (yes, yes, Miss Manners noticed that you only said “confused”), you should consider some of the reasons.

The idea behind this charming custom was to keep minimally in touch with people one might not otherwise see during the year. True, there were those who distributed cards to everyone they knew, but that could still be charming -- especially to those who liked to string the cards across the living room or tuck them into the venetian blinds.

Nowadays, everyone keeps in constant touch -- not just with everyone they know, but with as many people as possible whom they don’t know. Perhaps social media posts are mostly people talking about themselves, rather than greeting others, but so are many Christmas cards and letters.

In considering what to do next year, you might want to return to the basic standard of greetings. If the people on your list touch base with you in other ways during the year, they want to keep up the contact and likely appreciate your cards -- even if they don’t send cards themselves.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there a polite way to deal with those relatives who constantly tease you, make fun of you and remind you of the stupid, mean things you did when you were young?

Naturally enough, I avoid these relatives whenever possible. But there are inevitably two or three occasions every year when I am in their presence.

I have tried to laugh good-naturedly at these "jokes," but as the years go by, their barbs seem less and less humorous and more mean-spirited. I did once confront one of them privately, just to be told I was “too sensitive.” Although you could say I love these people, I don’t really like them anymore, and already I am dreading the next family function.

Since I have been dealing with this for decades now, I suppose I can continue to laugh and pretend it doesn’t bother me, but I am wondering if there is a polite, Miss Manners-approved way to respond.

GENTLE READER: Didn’t being sensitive used to be a virtue, not a fault? And insensitivity, such as haranguing others with the same tiresome criticisms, a fault?

No wonder you do not like these people whom you love.

Miss Manners begs you to stop laughing. Sure, they ought to be able to see that your laughter is strained, but they are insensitive, remember?

Instead of laughing, say, “Please give all that a rest. I don’t find it amusing.” This will, of course, bring on that charge of your being “too sensitive,” to which Miss Manners suggests that you reply, “Yes, I am sensitive. So please stop.”

And perhaps, if there are repeats, “You know you’re stepping on my sensitivity, right?”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am currently in the market for an evening tailcoat. Of the several I have found, some have a notched lapel, while others have a peaked lapel.

Which is more proper for a white-tie function? Which is historically correct -- or are they both acceptable?

GENTLE READER: Peaked lapels.

Miss Manners congratulates you on having been invited to a splendid New Year’s Eve party -- or perhaps on your new job as the conductor of a symphony orchestra. Or as a headwaiter.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is still good friends with her ex-boyfriend. We never met the ex’s parents. For Christmas, they gifted us with lots of expensive candies and chocolates.

We do not want a relationship with them, and receiving the gifts was awkward. I wrote them a short and sweet thank-you note.

Is this enough? I don’t want to be rude, but if I give them something in return, that might open the door to a relationship that we are not looking for.

GENTLE READER: Are you quite sure that nobody else involved is hoping for a relationship? Not just the parents -- which seems likely, from their approach -- but their son? And perhaps even your daughter?

Miss Manners is not suggesting that you need to enter into a mutual exchange of presents. Thanking them is, indeed, enough. However, you might inject a tiny bit of warmth into that note, just in case.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a long train journey to work each day, and I always gravitate towards the “quiet carriage.” But invariably, there are some passengers who believe the rules have no application to them.

They believe that they, for no blindingly obvious reason, sit above and outside the rules. They carry on loud, pointless conversations as though no one can hear them. There are others who eat loudly, and still others who have yet to be introduced to the humble tissue or handkerchief.

And don’t even get me started on all those filthy coughers, who clearly learned nothing from the pandemic.

What can I say to these utterly shameless rule-breakers? I want to enforce the rules and basic standards.

And before you suggest it: Yes, I have noise-canceling headphones. They help, but don’t fully remove the endless sniffing, hacking and talking.

GENTLE READER: A polite, whispered, “Excuse me, but I believe this is the quiet car” or a point to the sign -- or even asking the ticket taker to help, if one happens to walk by -- are acceptable ways to address loud talking.

But for those who sniff or cough, Miss Manners can only suggest you offer them a tissue -- and some sympathy for the fact that they are probably not doing this solely to annoy you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have always been the person to plan fun events for my friends. In retirement, my husband and I have moved to a golf community in a new state, and I’ve continued to organize outings -- from just a few friends going to lunch, to large holiday outings for ladies only. (My husband is not well and does not care to socialize, so I don’t plan couples events.)

Some women are always happy to attend, but never reciprocate. I’m thinking of no longer inviting those women, and wonder what I should say if they ask why they were not invited.

Years ago, a friend remarked that I hadn’t called her to do anything that winter, and I replied, “The phone works both ways.” Apparently, that was too harsh. Any more subtle replies?

GENTLE READER: For that years-ago comment: “I assumed since I hadn’t heard from you that you were busy this season.”

As for your current situation, omitting those women from future outings seems reasonable to Miss Manners.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have an old and very dear friend. We have known each other for over 40 years, and although we live thousands of miles apart, we get together a couple of times a year.

My friend is extremely wealthy, while I am middle-class. She has sent me a huge check to help me out with some of my family’s difficulties. How do I respectfully return this?

GENTLE READER: “You are such a dear to offer to help out, but I cannot accept your money. I will, however, continue to depend upon you for emotional support, if I may. In fact, let us plan our next get-together. It would cheer me immensely.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)