DEAR HARRIETTE: This is a reply to "Need Some Clarity," the reader and her sister who were concerned about not being invited to parties since the their mother died. They are worried about not being invited to their grandmother's birthday party. I bet they never host parties, and, therefore, the cousins decided not to include them. I come from a big family, and my sisters and I always hosted the holidays, birthdays, etc. We, too, got fed up with the lazy freeloaders who showed up for everything but never took a turn in having everyone over.

If they are so worried about missing grandma's party, they should throw the party and invite everyone. I'm sure the cousins would be delighted to come and not have the work of having the party at their home. -- All About Responsibility, Chicago

DEAR ALL ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY: You raise an interesting point, especially from the perspective of a large family of folks who always do the hosting. It is conceivable that the hosts could tire of always being the party-throwers.

I wonder if your description of other family members as "lazy freeloaders" might be a bit harsh. While some people may just show up without bringing anything or helping to clean up, I bet many people who attend parties regularly rather than hosting them may feel ill-equipped to host -- maybe they don't have the big house, they don't know how to cook, they never learned how to host, they are shy, etc.

That said, I agree that if "Needs Some Clarity" or her sister offers to host something for Grandma, the other family members would, at the very least, wake up to their presence and think about them differently.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am concerned. My 21-year-old daughter, who still lives at home with my husband and me, has suddenly taken an interest in the latest craze, those "Fifty Shades" books. I understand that she is officially an adult, but she has been a sheltered child, and I'm fairly certain that she hasn't had any sexual experience. Plus, she hardly ever reads anything. I'm afraid that she will be damaged or afraid as a result of reading these books. I'm not quite sure how to handle it. What is your advice? -- Prudish Mom, Washington, D.C.

DEAR PRUDISH MOM: Use this situation as a teaching moment. For starters, read the books. Even if this is not your taste in literature, you need to know exactly what she is reading so that you can talk about it intelligently.

Admittedly, this could be an awkward conversation, but you can do it. Ask her what she thinks about the books. Ask her how the content makes her feel. Ask if she has had any such experiences. Count on your daughter blushing and not being forthcoming. Push carefully.

Tell her that you wouldn't have selected these books as recommended reading but that you want to support her reading and her life. Do your best to keep the lines of communication open. Talk to her about relationships and sexuality. Attempt to lead the discussion away from the books and toward a healthy conversation about her life, her desires and her needs.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have spent the last semester studying abroad, and I came home last week. My group of friends is really close, and we always make sure we hang out together. While I haven't kept in contact with my friends as much as I could have, I expected that they would call me to go out with them.

I have told them I am back home; however, they have not called to see if I want to go out with them since I have been back. I know they have been going out with each other -- I see their posts on Twitter and Facebook. I am very upset.

Should I ignore them, or should I confront them and ask them why they are not inviting me to go out with them? -- Friendless, Scarsdale, N.Y.

DEAR FRIENDLESS: I understand how sensitive you are feeling about your friends and their exclusion of you. However, I would like for you to look at your situation a little differently.

You mentioned that you reached out to them to say that you are home. You also admitted that you haven't stayed in touch the way that you would have hoped. Have you called them to get together? Rather than sulking about them not inviting you to their various activities, be proactive. Call them. Tell them how much you miss them, and ask if you can hang out with them soon. Extending your hand may be all that's needed.

If, however, they remain chilly, call them back and ask them why they don't want to hang out with you anymore. Tell them you miss them and really want to reconnect.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a good guy friend with whom I have been spending a lot of time lately. We have been friends for many years, and I know that he used to like me while I was dating someone else. I have been single for a while, and I have started to develop a crush on my friend.

I am unsure if he still has the same feelings for me, and I feel like the situation has flipped with me having a crush on him while he does not feel the same way. There have been many opportunities these last few days to tell him how I feel, but I am scared of rejection and the fact that this may ruin our friendship. -- Out on a Limb, Shreveport, La.

DEAR OUT ON A LIMB: Here's the thing: You can wait and wonder and never find out or step out on faith and tell your friend your feelings. Since you already know that he had feelings for you at one time, you know that he could have interest.

Tell him that you think you like him, and you wonder if he still has feelings for you. You can add that you most want to be his friend, but you figured that since you have noticed these feelings, you thought you would tell him to see if he shares them. Listen for his response.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a high school student, and I have been playing the piano for 10 years. It is something that I enjoy. I got a new piano teacher this year. She is a smoker, and her breath is the worst smoker's breath I have ever smelled before. It never used to be this bad!

She sits next to me while I play, and when she talks the smell is nauseating. I try to hold my breath but this makes me mess up. When I mess up, she yells.

How do I tell her that her breath smells so much that it is impacting my piano playing without hurting her feelings? -- Nauseous Pianist, Seattle

DEAR NAUSEOUS PIANIST: This is a tough one. I can imagine how awkward you feel about having to deal with this situation. But I do think that there is a diplomatic way to handle it.

Drum up the courage to speak to your teacher before you sit down at the piano. Apologize for having difficulty playing properly sometimes. Tell her that you want to share something with her that makes you uncomfortable. With her blessing, tell her that you have noticed that she is a smoker, and that, unfortunately, the strong smell of smoke on her breath distracts you when you are playing.

She will likely be embarrassed. Hopefully, she will either brush her teeth before you come for class or not smoke close to your arrival. That may not help enough. You should also tell your mother about your challenge. As good as this teacher may be, you may need to look for someone else to teach you who is a nonsmoker.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A book that might help your readers with the one part of writing that always stumps me -- grammar -- is "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" by Lynne Truss. I am the queen of run-on (and on) sentences, and this book is a great help! Punctuation is a part of grammar many of us are less acquainted with, and reading this book will help you write sentences that are more readable. -- Compassionate, Chicago

DEAR COMPASSIONATE: Thank you for this recommendation. So many people identify with the challenge that some face when it comes to putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard).

Not everyone is a naturally gifted writer, but all of us have something to say. The general sentiment from everyone who has written in to support the reader who lacks grammar skills is that he should not give up on his desire to write. Go for it, even if there may be errors. For novice writers, it's often true that sentences may come out clumsily or flat. It doesn't matter. Just write. As many Mamas have said, "Practice makes perfect." And with a bit of help from grammar books, writing workshops and honest support from others, virtually any novice writer can become proficient at expressing him or herself.