DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 41-year-old African-American man, and I decided to see a psychologist to discuss a few of my personal issues. I told my uncle that I went to see a therapist. He applauded my decision, and he told me it takes a strong person to admit that they need help. My aunt thinks it is foolish of me to talk to a counselor. Since my first visit with the therapist, I feel better. I am getting the help that I need. How do I defend my decision about seeing a therapist to my family members? -- On the Couch, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR ON THE COUCH: Many people do not understand the value of professional psychological help. Your aunt is one of those people. That's her issue, not yours. Do your best not to make it your issue.

How you can best manage this situation is to talk to your therapist about your issues, not your family. There is no need for you to update anyone about your progress with the therapist or about any breakthroughs or challenges that you may have. It is none of their business.

Focus on getting healthy. By keeping your mental health treatment private, you give yourself space to explore your thoughts, feelings and issues in a safe space.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Lately, I have noticed that I am transposing numbers and missing words on documents at work on a regular basis. My mistakes are starting to become a strain on my boss. I recently purchased a new pair of glasses to see if they would correct the problem; however, I am still making the same mistakes. I spoke to my boss about my problem, and she suggested that I might be dyslexic. I plan to take a test to see if I am dyslexic, but I am a little embarrassed because I am in my late 30s and I did not know about this potential learning disability at an earlier age. How should I carry myself while I am looking for a place to take this test? Should I tell people about my potential condition, or should I keep quiet until I get my test results? -- To Tell the Truth, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR TO TELL THE TRUTH: Keep your thoughts to yourself for now. Schedule an appointment with your internist and get a complete physical. Ask about being tested for dyslexia. Be prepared to talk about what some of your challenges are at work and in life. Some symptoms of dyslexia include difficulty reading, writing and spelling. Doctors say that people with dyslexia often have difficulty with organization and time management. For a full list of symptoms, visit interdys.org/SignsofDyslexiaCombined.htm.

If you discover that you do have dyslexia, it doesn't mean that you need to advertise your condition. Get support to help you tackle your challenges. Many successful people suffer from dyslexia. It is not a death sentence.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating my boyfriend for almost seven years now. We met in college and started dating at ages 19 and 20. I am now 26. I love him a lot, and I know how much he loves me. We talk about marriage and our future all the time, and I know that he is "the one." How long should I wait for him to propose? Should I give him an ultimatum? -- Ready to Wed, Jersey City, N.J.

DEAR READY TO WED: When you talk about marriage, what does he say? Have you ever talked about timing for getting married? If not, why don't you introduce that question into the conversation?

It is also just fine for you to propose. I know it may not seem the traditional route, but many women have proposed to their partners. Give it some thought!

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few months ago, my best friend and roommate moved across the country, so I had to find a new roommate. I met a super sweet girl on Craigslist, and I have been rooming with her for the past five months. We get along great. I feel very comfortable with her in the space, and I get along with her boyfriend as well. There's just one thing. She doesn't clean. I wouldn't say she's a slob, because she's not, but she never cleans the bathroom or Swiffers the kitchen, she leaves breadcrumbs everywhere and I always have to re-wash the dishes she does because they're never clean.

I have mentioned these things to her on two occasions and even spoke of a schedule (which she hasn't followed), and I don't want to sound like a nag. Aside from this, she has been a really great roomie. What should I do? -- Want to be Clean, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR WANT TO BE CLEAN: It's time to have a household meeting. Tell your roommate that you want to talk about household duties. Start by telling her how much you enjoy her as a roommate and how at ease you have felt since she arrived. Then, very clearly talk to her about chores and point out that you need her to pay closer attention to cleaning the apartment. You might ask her if anyone ever taught her how to clean. It is possible that she doesn't really know how to be an effective cleaner.

If that is the case, offer to teach her. And show her what you think she has not done so well. For example, show her dishes that still have food residue on them and then teach her how you would clean them. Suggest that you clean together for a while. That way you can show her how you clean the bathroom and the floors. It could be as simple as educating her to get your house clean.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been somewhat casually dating a guy for more than a year now. We like each other a lot, but we see each other rarely. He has a young son, and he has primary custody, so between family and work, he is busy. I had the thought recently to tell him that I would be fine with spending time with him and his son if it meant we could spend more time together. I'm a little nervous about suggesting it, though, since he has never brought it up. What do you think about this idea? -- Next Step, Memphis

DEAR NEXT STEP: Leave it alone. I generally recommend to anyone who has children and is dating that you do not introduce the date until you feel that there is potential for the relationship. It can be unnerving for children to meet a range of dates and not be sure who is important to the parent. While you shouldn't wait until you are about to get married, you should feel that the relationship is more committed than your description -- casual. Follow his lead on this.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I wear a weave in my hair. I spend a lot of money on it, so it looks just like my hair. I've been dating a guy for a few months now, and it has gotten a bit intimate. So far, whenever he kisses me, I make sure he doesn't touch my hair. He has complimented me on it a lot, and I am always grateful. I wonder if he finds out that it isn't my real hair if that will turn him off. Bottom line: I need to tell him, but I'm not sure how to broach the topic. Help! -- Woven, Detroit

DEAR WOVEN: Chris Rock made a compelling documentary called "Good Hair" that explores many of the nuances of the hair industry, including how men and women deal with women who wear weaves. One of the men in the documentary pointed out that he doesn't touch his partner's hair without permission -- ever!

Jokes aside, this is a fair question. Because so many women wear weaves these days, you may be pleasantly surprised to discover that your guy is not new to the party. That said, in order for you to be comfortable with him touching your hair, you need to let him know what's there. It could be presented in a casual conversation about going to the hairdresser. As you talk about your schedule, tell him that you go to the hairdresser once every six or eight weeks to have your weave refreshed (or whatever your timetable is). You can mention how long that appointment is, and note the commitment you make to keeping your hair looking the way you want it to look. This will open the door to a candid conversation about your hair. If he asks to touch it after that, by all means allow him to do so.