DEAR HARRIETTE: I work two jobs and really long hours. I leave around 5 in the morning and sometimes don't get home until after 8 at night. I don't complain about my schedule. When I get home, I help my kids with homework and get them to bed before it's too late. Then I do some housework to try to keep things in order. This is what it takes right now to help support my family.

The problem comes at the end of the day. My husband works one job. He works hard, but doesn't have the hours like me. So when I'm crashing at night, he consistently wants to get busy. I don't mean to be rude or not a good wife, but I hardly ever have enough energy. How can I keep my marriage strong and keep up this daily grind? -- Worn Out, Bronx, New York

DEAR WORN OUT: Stress and fatigue are not good bedfellows, as you and your husband are experiencing. As challenging as this is, you two need to have a frank conversation about your lives. Choose a time when you can be alone and not on a tight schedule -- probably on the weekend. Candidly tell your husband how tired you are and that you aren't sure how you can keep up with everything. Discuss whether you should look for other work where you might be able to have one job that earns enough money to help your family.

Ask your husband if he would be willing to work with you to make a new plan for how household responsibilities are handled. Perhaps if he help could help more with childcare and home care, you will have less to do and a tiny bit more relaxation time. In turn, you may have a bit more energy. Tell him that you do not mean to deny him, but you often don't have the energy. Suggest making time for intimacy on the weekend, or pick another time that you think you might be able to commit to on a regular basis.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It seems like all of my mother's friends are old and frail. I know we should be grateful that they are alive, considering they are in their late 80s, but it's really hard to handle being on what feels like alarm mode all the time. Every time I hear the phone ring, I worry that it's a report of another friend dying. How can I relax and enjoy my mom and her friends rather than worrying myself sick all the time? -- On the Edge, Winston-Salem, North Carolina

DEAR ON THE EDGE: Growing old is a double-edged sword. Obviously, you treasure having your mother and her friends, but the downside is that older people are often fragile. It is important for you to choose to keep a positive attitude. Rather than answering the phone with fear or dread, assume the call will be good. Do one better and begin a phone tree with your mother and her friends. Agree to call each other regularly so that the calls will not just be emergencies. Similarly, choose to spend time with your mom as frequently as possible. Savor the time you have. This may help to curb your worries about the future.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: What do you do if you find yourself in the middle of political discussions and you really don't want to talk about it? These days I feel like it's always something. The debate about police brutality is endless and highly volatile. And then there's the never-ending Cosby debacle. And terrorism all over the world. I get that bad and crazy things are happening, but when I am on a date or with friends, I don't necessarily want to debate the issues. I don't even want to talk about who may run for president, at least not all the time. How can I get my friends to chill and just be together or even to be serious and talk about themselves rather than the failures of everybody else? -- Stop the Noise, Detroit

DEAR STOP THE NOISE: Information overload is a real experience that is on the rise in this information age. Being on the pulse of current events is wise, but, as you point out, it should not require you to talk about everything that's in the cable news 24-hour rotation.

How can you curb the commentary? State your case. When you are hanging out with your friends and the conversation turns to a topic that you are not interested in discussing, ask them if they would be willing to change the subject. You can actually create a profound talking point by stating that you are more interested in how they are navigating their lives than what their opinions are on celebrity gossip or world violence. That may work sometimes.

You can choose to get up and leave the group for a moment, either going to the restroom or just removing yourself from their company for a bit. Ultimately, though, know that there is something good about being in the company of people who are paying attention to what's going on in the world. Rather than being frustrated by the discussion, work to push it in an enlightened direction.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been talking with a potential business partner for many months now. Every time we get close to figuring out a deal we can develop, it gets a little sketchy. I honestly don't think he is trying to stiff me. I think he is unsure of what is going to stick. At this point, I need to know what our business relationship will be if something does happen. My problem is, I don't have any money. How can I get clarity when I don't have skin to put in the game? -- Looking for Clarity, Boston

DEAR LOOKING FOR CLARITY: Call a meeting with this person and put your cards on the table. Be clear about what you want related to the projects you have been discussing. Sometimes partners bring cash to deals; at other times they bring expertise and time. Tell him what you believe your assets are and the value of those assets. Ask your potential business partner what his intentions are, and make it clear that you want to establish a formal relationship before you move forward.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I invited a few people over to my house for a post-New Year's get-together. My guests were having a great time mingling while they danced the night away, but there was one gentleman who got on my nerves because he was constantly taking pictures of my possessions. I asked him if he would not take any pictures without my permission, but he continued. I got angry and asked him to leave my house. To my surprise, my guests became upset at me because I kicked a guest out of the party. I think I could have handled this situation better. What are your thoughts? -- Not a Good Host, New York City

DEAR NOT A GOOD HOST: This was clearly an awkward situation, and you were right to be concerned about someone photographing your possessions. More effective than asking him to leave your home would have been seizing his camera. If your concern truly is about where those photos might end up, your priority should have been to confiscate the camera or SD card holding the images. You could have done this privately so that other guests would not witness the confrontation.

The role of a host is to do your best to make your guests comfortable. This is why it's best for them not to see any conflicts, if that is possible. At the same time, you have the right to protect your privacy and your property.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Some of my college friends have decided to get together for an impromptu girls' weekend. I think this should be a blast. We have kept in touch over the years but rarely see each other. The plan is to go to a beach community, which sounds great since it's crazy cold where most of us live. I bet you know what's coming next. OK, so we haven't seen each other in about 12 years. I, for one, look nothing like I did when we were in school. Even though the trip is all girls, I feel really self-conscious about putting on a bathing suit and hanging out on the beach with them. You know how women can be! I don't want to be ridiculous, but I'm not kidding when I say that I am uncomfortable about taking this trip. Should I say something to them? Or maybe not go? -- Skittish, Chicago

DEAR SKITTISH: Weight gain can definitely make people feel uncomfortable, especially when you are going to see people who haven't seen you in your fuller state. You should know that most Americans grow bigger after a dozen years, so chances are that at least some of your friends could be bearing extra pounds, and some could be insecure, too.

As you are communicating back and forth, send pictures of yourself and invite them to do the same. Tell your friends that you are sending a photo so they will recognize the "new" you!

Do a little shopping. Invest in a bathing suit that fits you now. And buy a cover-up that provides some modesty, if you want. Most important, though, is to decide to go and have a good time. Choose to welcome your friends without judgment, and choose to receive that same sentiment back from them.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)