DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has been playing with Legos since he was about 5. He’s a teenager now, but this is still his gift of choice. He told me and my mother that what he wants more than anything for his birthday are the latest Lego kits that are out. Part of me wants to expand his vision. He is about to be of the age to be interested in girls and in being more social. I fear that there won’t be too many girls who will want to build Legos with him. Should I start weaning him off Legos and give him a gift that will point him to more social activities, like dance lessons or something? I don’t know what to do. -- Growing Up, Bronx, New York

DEAR GROWING UP: Don’t rush your son’s personal development. He has plenty of time to begin figuring out social dynamics with girls. Further, you may be pleasantly surprised to learn that some girls like Legos as well. If I were you, I would get him the Legos that he has requested. You could supplement the gift with something more socially minded.

Talk to your son about what he might like to explore. If you think he would be into dance lessons, then go for it. If he will think that you are meddling in his life, that idea will backfire. Listen to him and learn how he might like to expand his horizons.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister’s husband died a few years ago, and she is still grieving deeply. I try to connect with her and let her know that I care about her and want to be there for her, but nothing seems to be working. She works, but she is really sad. When she comes home from work, she sits around and drinks. When I go to visit her, I can tell that she has not eaten much. She’s usually in a daze. I suggested that she go to therapy, but she doesn’t want to do that yet. I suppose she is functioning because she does go to work every day, but this isn’t living. What can I do to help her? -- Grieving Sis, Los Angeles

DEAR GRIEVING SIS: You cannot force your sister to get help, even though therapy would be good for her. You might suggest a grief counselor, which is specific to her problem. She may be willing to consider that.

Otherwise, continue to visit your sister. Don’t tell her it will get better soon, because you don’t know that it will. And it won’t make her feel happier, either. It will likely make her think you are uncaring and that you don’t understand her pain. Instead, spend time with her. Bring her food when you come. Offer to take her to the movies or shopping or anything that will get her to think about the present rather than remaining burdened by the loss that is unbearable for her to remember. Be patient and loving. Your support does matter to her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family has adopted a family in need for Christmas for many years. We find a family at my sister’s church and figure out what they need and want for the holidays. Then we pool our resources and buy food and gifts for them. It is such a wonderful practice, and I want to encourage your readers to consider giving to those who don’t have any extra money. It is not too late to share your good will and money to help other families. Even after Christmas Day, it isn’t too late. Every day there are people who can benefit from your generosity. Consider giving to someone in need. -- Time for Giving, Chicago

DEAR TIME FOR GIVING: Thank you for this reminder that this is the season for generosity. You are right that no matter where you are, you can give to someone else. Going to your house of worship to identify people to help is a great idea. You can also visit local community centers and homeless shelters to learn how they are organizing giving this season. Go online to find charities whose causes resonate with you. When you look up a charity, consider checking its status with Charity Navigator. This site will let you know if the charity is handling its affairs with precision. Make sure that you know where your money is going. Your generosity will make you -- and the recipient -- feel good. That’s the beauty of giving. It benefits everyone!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My niece bought her grandmother a cellphone thinking it was a great idea. She bought her an iPhone so that she could receive photos from family members who are dispersed all over the country. Everybody thought this was wonderful, including her grandmother -- until she got the phone. This lovely lady is 83 years old, and she has never had a cellphone. She is having the worst time trying to figure out how to use it. It’s just not working. My niece is frustrated because she wants her grandmother to be able to use the phone. What can we do so that Grandma can be connected? -- No Cell Connection, Orlando, Florida

DEAR NO CELL CONNECTION: This happens to older people a lot, as newer cellphones can prove difficult for them to navigate. Some older people have problems simply seeing the screen because the numbers and letters are very small. Others can’t make their fingers work on the small surface. What you may want to do is have your niece return the smartphone and replace it with a simple flip phone that has a keyboard and not much else. Some flip phones have the ability to receive and transmit photos so that function may be available in a simpler phone. What you likely cannot get is the option of FaceTime or a similar service.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter goes to a majority-white school. We are African-American, but we love that she goes to this school because the education is excellent. Our one real concern is that there are never many black students. For the five years that she has been at this school, there may have been at most four black students during any school year. I wish the school had more diversity, and I am willing to help it find people, but it doesn't seem interested. I am committed to my kid, so I want the school to take this seriously. What can I do? -- Black Lives Matter, Bronx, New York

DEAR BLACK LIVES MATTER: Your school’s leadership could use a wake-up call about what diversity means. First, find out what the school’s mission is regarding diversity. Request a meeting with the dean or head of school. Express your concerns clearly, pointing out that you believe the student body would be better off if it reflected a broader range of ethnic backgrounds. Ask the administrators if they are doing anything to recruit minorities and what the stumbling blocks have been.

Some schools say that they can’t find full-paying minority families and they have limited financial aid available. That could be true at your school, but guess what? There are plenty of minorities who can pay full fare. Recommend that the school hire a recruiter who knows the black and Latino communities. Even if it tries it for just one year, this can help to diversify the student body pool.

If you find that your school’s leadership is not listening, consider talking to the other minority parents to see if they will join with you in pushing the leadership toward greater diversity. If nothing works, you may want to reconsider where your daughter goes to school.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A very dear friend of mine recently asked me to help her out of a financial rut. I helped her once before, years ago, and it was a little awkward. This time, it seems like she is right back in the same situation. I don’t feel comfortable giving her money, as I don’t think it is going to help her change her course. I love her so much, but I don’t think this is what I should do. How can I say no without alienating my friend? She is down and out, but I don’t think I can help her through this one, at least not by writing a check. -- Friend in Need, Dallas

DEAR FRIEND IN NEED: The easiest, though seemingly most painful, way to handle this is to state your case immediately. If you haven’t already, tell your friend that you will not be able to help her out financially this time. Rather than walking away entirely, you can offer to guide her toward financial stability. Point her to a personal finance adviser who may be able to help her devise a payment plan with her creditors. Often they can negotiate deals with creditors that make it easier to pay. Be your friend’s cheerleader if she will let you, but hold your ground about giving her money if you feel uncomfortable doing that.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)