DEAR HARRIETTE: I was at an event last week and learned that a woman I have known for all of my professional life is suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. I am devastated. She was a force in our community, and I would see her from time to time. I admit that when I have seen her in recent years, she sometimes was distant, but I chalked that up to her just being odd. Now I have learned that she is largely not mentally present. I am so sorry. I’m told that mostly she doesn’t know people. I want to reach out anyway. Is it worth it? -- Friend in Need, Milwaukee

DEAR FRIEND IN NEED: Do your due diligence first. Identify a mutual friend who is close to her. Check in, saying that you recently learned of this woman’s condition. Ask if there is anything you can do to be of support. Add that you would like to be in touch with her or do something to let her know that you care about her and want to be of support. Be specific when you ask what you can do to help. You may be told that you can call, but be prepared that she may not recognize your voice. You may be advised to send her a small gift or a card. Your good wishes and prayers do count.

If she has caregivers, those people could use encouragement. It is very difficult to take care of a person with any type of dementia. Your loving support of them counts as well.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am going home to visit family this Thanksgiving, and I’m kind of nervous. I haven’t been home in a long time, and I know that people have expectations of me and what I have accomplished since I have been gone.

Right now, my life is rocky. I lost my job and have been temping to pay the bills. I’m figuring it out, but I don’t want to talk about what’s going on. How can I be honest with people and keep my privacy? I really don’t want to talk about my trials and tribulations. -- Shut Up, Calvert County, Maryland

DEAR SHUT UP: You will need to decide what you are comfortable sharing about your life, because you know people will be asking. Most often the questioning comes out of love and a desire to support you and to be able to brag about what you are up to. Think of highlights that you can share about your life that are interesting and benign. Do you like to garden? What hobbies do you enjoy? Are you into fitness? Select something that points to how you have joy in your life.

As far as work goes, you can say that you are in transition. If you know what you are looking for or what you are interested in, you can talk about that while admitting that right now your work pays the bills but isn’t what you intend long-term.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: Today marks the midterm Election Day across the United States. I am writing to you today with a plea to fulfill your civic duty. My column is not a place for political activism per se, and I’m not trying to turn it into that now. But I do think it is important to point out what should be obvious from a politically aware but neutral point of view: The right to vote is precious. When you look around the world and take note of the ways in which other governments work, you may be able to gain perspective on how fortunate we are in this country that virtually each one of us has the legal right to cast a ballot to say who we want to govern our cities, states and, indeed, the whole country.

For me, this is a no-brainer. Being African-American and knowing our history, I am clear that the right to vote was not a given for many years. Yes, in this country that we love so much, many black people were refused the right to vote for decades. A big part of the civil rights movement of the '50s and '60s was to secure the right to vote. Many blacks, particularly in the South, marched for this right, some even losing their lives in the process.

There were many tricks put into play to make it impossible for black people to vote, including literacy tests (illegal) and poll taxes (also illegal). And yet, persistence prevailed. The Voting Rights Act of 1965 ensured the right to vote regardless of race. It was created to uphold the 15th Amendment to the Constitution, which was enacted in 1870, but was largely unenforced in the South until this important piece of legislation was passed.

Similarly, women have been fighting for the right to vote for generations. It wasn’t until the 19th Amendment to the Constitution was made, in 1920, that women were afforded the legal right to vote. That, of course, was easier for white women. And still for all of these years, women have struggled with the realities of fighting for equal treatment under the law -- without grasping it in many cases. Indeed, the Equal Rights Amendment, which would guarantee equality for men and women under the law, is a piece of legislation that has yet to be voted through Congress.

Why do I say all of this? We need to know our history and exercise our rights. We live in a country of laws, where we elect individuals to stand up and represent our views and rights. And yet, most of us do not participate in the very basics of the political process. People are often too caught up in their day-to-day responsibilities or are unsure that their vote will make a difference.

I implore you to think differently. You must pay attention to what’s going on in your city, state and country. You must understand what issues are at stake right now and who represents different views about them. From there, you must take the time to cast your ballot.

Today is one of the most important days of your life, if you understand that who gets elected in your town will either support your values or not. Cast your ballot today. Make your vote count. And educate others about our history and responsibility to stand up for what we believe to be fair and just.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been super busy at work and unable to exercise like my doctor told me to do. I am in a slump regarding my health. I was doing so well this year getting my weight under control, but now I feel like I have gone all the way back to the beginning. I have gained back the 15 pounds I lost last year, and my motivation is shot. My doctor cautions me to lose weight in order to get off my medication. I feel like time is up for me. I’m going to the doctor soon. What should I say? -- Lose It or Lose Everything, Boston

DEAR LOSE IT OR LOSE EVERYTHING: Stop beating yourself up. That doesn’t help to inspire the motivation you need to excel. Instead, get super practical. Having a rigorous work schedule can make it seem like there’s no time for anything else. Your doctor is trying to help you prioritize and know that if you don’t make time for your health FIRST, the rest will surely crumble. He is not exaggerating. You must have a healthy body in order to have the strength and stamina to work long hours and be fully present in your life.

Make a schedule for yourself. Plot out your time week by week. Figure out when you have to wake up in order to get to work on time, and add 15 minutes. Get up just a little earlier and do some stretching and cardio at home before you start your day. Make smart choices about what you eat and drink, especially when you are tired. Eliminate sweets and salty foods. Drink lots of water. Your discipline will pay off. The good news is that you will probably have more energy for everything if you follow the discipline your doctor ordered.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hate having my picture taken, but some of my friends couldn't care less. It seems like every time I turn my head, one of them is snapping away. I don’t like it, and don’t feel like I should have to accept it all the time. I want to cut off social media and phones when people visit me. It’s one thing to be at an event where photos are being snapped and quite another to allow it everywhere. Do you think it’s reasonable for me to have a no-paparazzi rule in my home? -- Cut It Out, Pittsburgh

DEAR CUT IT OUT: You have every right to make whatever rules you desire in your own home. You can require people to put their cellphones and other electronic devices in a basket at the front door when they arrive. Let them know that you want your time together to be without the intrusion of social media or the myriad distractions that come from holding a little computer in your hand.

Add that you do not appreciate being photographed and posted about without your permission. Tell them you love them but want to be clear about boundaries. Do not scold them; just be clear. Then create a warm and loving environment for your friends. If they have a good time, they may come to share your view -- at least a little bit -- about being in the moment, free of distraction.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)