DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been hiding my tattoos from my parents for years. They disapprove of tattoos in general and have somewhat traditional beliefs. I have two tattoos -- a large one on my upper arm that can be concealed under a T-shirt sleeve and a small one on my fingers. Recently my mother discovered my small tattoo and berated me only a little bit. The reveal went better than I thought it would, probably because the tattoo she saw is very small.

Do you think I should show my mom my bigger tattoo? It seems like my relationship with my mother is improving; it was somewhat strained in the past, and she has recently been more accepting of who I am. I am afraid that if I show her my bigger tattoo, I will lose our new connection. What do you think I should do? -- Tattoo Girl

DEAR TATTOO GIRL: I would continue to go slowly. Build your relationship with your mother, letting her get to know you as the person you are evolving into. Share ideas bit by bit with her so that she gets to know your values, your beliefs and your ideas. Tell her that you share some of the traditional beliefs that you were taught by your parents, but not all. Reinforce to her the values that you share, and point out where you differ. Let your mother know that you mean no disrespect when you take a different path than what she and your father have chosen.

When you feel that your mother is accepting of the fact that the two of you have some differing views but are able to love each other anyway, let her know that you want to share something with her. Do not spring it on her. Make her aware of the fact that you have a reveal, and then show her. Thank your mother for her support and love.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am currently in a short-term long-distance relationship, and my partner and I have noticed that it is harder to communicate as a result of this distance. We had been together long enough prior to our separation to understand that we both still love each other and believe that we can communicate well face to face, but we are having trouble with the long distance. Do you think there is anything that can be done to help us communicate better during the few months we will be away from each other? -- Temporary Distance

DEAR TEMPORARY DISTANCE: Talk about the big picture. Yes, it is challenging today, but you have a timetable. Create a calendar that you share that has as its North Star the date that you come back together. In between, assign dates for when you will talk to each other, see each other and otherwise communicate.

The good news is that technology can support your ability to be in close touch, even if you are unable to be in each other’s company. Talk about trust. Now is the time to fortify that trust and encourage each other to live your lives as you stay committed to your shared journey.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a young woman in my life who is important to me. I consider myself her mentor. She calls whenever she needs anything, and I do my best to be available at a moment’s notice. I am beginning to see, though, that when I need her, she is often MIA. If I text or call her, I may have to follow up three or four times before she responds. Meanwhile, if she texts or calls me, I do my best to drop everything to make time for her. I don’t like how this is balancing out.

I feel like maybe she is taking advantage of my kindness. I do know that she is busy building her career while my work is slowing down, but still I think I deserve the basic respect of having her get back in touch with me in a timely manner. What should I say to her? -- Feeling Unappreciated

DEAR FEELING UNAPPRECIATED: You have touched on something that is likely key in this relationship: Your mentee is actively growing her career as yours is slowing down. I doubt that she means to be unavailable or unresponsive to you. Probably she is swept up in the rush of her life and is oblivious to her actions. This, by the way, does not give her a pass. It just gives perspective on why she may be MIA at times when you reach out to her.

Part of your mentoring should include you finding a way to talk to her about what’s been happening between you. Schedule a time to talk when you can let her know that she is not being responsive when you need her, and this hurts your feelings. Point out from a bigger-picture perspective that if this is happening with you, it is most likely happening with others. Recommend that your mentee make lists of who she’s engaging and whether she is following up with them in a timely manner. Make it clear to her that follow-through is important on the road to success.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently I was at a party with my boyfriend. I got quite drunk, and he had to take care of me for the rest of the time we were at the party and when we got back to my home. The next day he seemed resentful, and I’m worried that I said something to him that I don’t remember to tick him off. What should I say to him to find out why he’s mad? -- Too Many Drinks

DEAR TOO MANY DRINKS: Good for you that you recognize your intoxication was inappropriate and may have created long-term negative repercussions.

Tell your boyfriend you need to have an uncomfortable conversation. Apologize for getting drunk at the party. Thank your boyfriend for taking care of you. Ask him if you said or did anything -- beyond obviously being drunk -- that offended him. Tell him that as hard as this may be to hear, you need to know. Listen as your boyfriend shares his memory of that evening. Apologize if there is anything else that you did that was offensive.

Decide together that you will help each other monitor your alcohol consumption so that you don’t get that drunk again.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: How do you approach teen smartphone and computer usage? I think my son’s constant use of phones and other screens -- especially at night -- is not great for his health. He is 16 years old and is constantly on some device. I know that he plays interactive video games with his friends, but I am worried about whatever else he may be doing. What are some ways I can limit his phone usage without being too harsh? -- Phone a Friend

DEAR PHONE A FRIEND: Your son is getting to the age where he will want more independence, yet as a teenager, he still needs your guidance. If you haven’t told him already, let him know that you reserve the right to see what he’s viewing and with whom he is communicating whenever you choose. You should conduct spot checks regularly so that you get a clear sense of what he is doing. He will not like this. Remind him that your job is to protect him, which is why you need to know what he’s up to. You can point out that as much as you love and trust him, you know that he has a teenage brain. That means that no matter how smart he is, sometimes he may make bad decisions. Your job, with your mature brain and parenting role, is to be a guiding support for him -- even if he doesn’t like it.

Further, you can limit screen time. You can give a screens-off time, like a bedtime, that you enforce by having your son put his cellphone in a common area to be charged. Similarly, his computer can be put in a common area and turned off for the evening. He won’t like this, but this is a sure way to limit his interactions outside of your home after hours.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I broke up with my ex-girlfriend a few months ago because we just weren’t getting along well. I didn’t want to lead her on, so I thought we should end our relationship. I’ve heard recently that she took the breakup hard and hates me. This has not been my experience, with my few interactions with her being awkward but cordial. Do you think I can do anything to help her, or should I just wait and not talk to her until much later when it is more likely she is over me? -- Handling Heartbreak

DEAR HANDLING HEARTBREAK: You may want to request one meeting with your ex-girlfriend where you tell her that you did not mean to hurt her and that you are sorry she is suffering right now. Tell her that you hope she will be OK soon. Allow her to speak her mind. Be sure that you acknowledge her feelings as you stand your ground. If you do not want to be in a relationship with her anymore, be clear about that so that she doesn’t misread the reason for this meeting.

When it is finished, wish her well and step away. If you are ever to be friendly in the future, she will have to heal and move on with her life just as you are moving on with yours.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)