DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been wearing my hair straight for many years, even though it is naturally curly. I’m now a student at a relatively conservative, mostly white school, and it may not seem like a big deal, but one way I fit in is by wearing my hair like my classmates.

The other day we had a terrible, unexpected rainstorm. I got caught out in the rain, and, needless to say, my hair turned -- it became curly and frizzy. I didn’t have a hair tie or anything, so I was exposed. It was awful. I felt so uncomfortable. My classmates had a million questions about my hair, and, of course, they wanted to touch it. I wanted to die. It’s not that I’m pretending I’m not black, but I didn’t want to draw attention to my differences through my hair. How should I handle this? -- Hair Sensitivity

DEAR HAIR SENSITIVITY: When my daughter was in middle school, she never wanted to wear her hair curly because nobody else at her school had curly hair. It took her moving to a new school where there was more diversity for her to fully embrace what I had been telling her all along -- namely, that she is blessed with hair that she can wear in many different styles, from curly to straight. She should embrace that flexibility. And so should you.

Rather than hiding away your natural hair, learn how to style it in more than one way that will showcase who you are. Be proud of your uniqueness. This change in attitude will help others to respect your differences as well. Allow your hair to be an icebreaker in conversations. You can absolutely reserve the right to tell people “hands off,” even as you more willingly share stories about your hair and your cultural experiences that may be different from theirs. Learn to laugh about getting caught in the rain, and include that story in your repertoire!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have friends who have been married for nearly 40 years. When my husband and I learned that we were going to have a baby, the husband told us to make sure that we put our marriage first, before our child. I thought that was odd. He said that the children go away. If you want to keep your marriage, you better make sure that you make it a priority.

I didn’t think much of it then, but now that our son is about to go away to college, I’m remembering his advice. We didn’t necessarily follow it. Today, we get along OK, but I worry about what will happen when our son is gone. Is it too late to get closer to my husband? -- Rekindle the Flame

DEAR REKINDLE THE FLAME: It is never too late to express your love for your husband. Now may be the perfect time to talk about this next phase in your lives and how you want to spend your time. Talk to your husband about the fact that your son will be leaving soon. Point out that this is your chance to spend more time together. Suggest that you start now by going on dates with each other and with other adult friends. Don’t wait until your son moves out to capture loving moments together.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m working with a talent agency, and my agent constantly messes up appointments. He makes a lot of typos and is hard to contact to get clarification. Sometimes his mistakes make me late for auditions, so I want to improve my communication with him. What can I do? -- Agent Problems

DEAR AGENT PROBLEMS: It sounds like you need a new agent. That’s a lot easier said than done, though. If possible, go into the office so that you can have a face-to-face meeting with him, even if you go without an appointment. You need to plead with him to pay more attention to you and your career. Remind him how eager you are to make it in your field and that you need his help to get there. Do not chastise him. Instead, boost his ego by pointing out how important he is in your life. Tell him that you want to be on time -- early, even -- for auditions, but there have been occasions when he has given you misinformation about appointment times or locations, causing you to be late. Ask him what you can do to help support him.

To double-check bookings, continue to write back to him to reconfirm anything he schedules for you. Be pleasant in tone but clear that you need him to respond so that you can be ready to do your part.

If it doesn’t improve, you will need to speak to his manager to see if you can be transferred to another agent who may be more attentive. This could backfire, so get ready to find a different agency if this cannot be amicably resolved.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m thinking about studying photography at the liberal arts college I attend, but I’m worried that the industry is going to have more issues as phone cameras improve. I know that your husband is a photographer, so you must have insight into this industry. Do you think that the photography industry is dying? -- Aspiring Photographer

DEAR ASPIRING PHOTOGRAPHER: You are right. My husband has been a working photographer for his entire career. He talks about the changes in the industry, including the fact that “everyone thinks they are a photographer now,” due to the advent of smartphones with higher-quality cameras.

That said, he suggests that if you fine-tune your craft, learn lighting and work hard to define your style, there is a chance for you in this industry. You do have to differentiate yourself from the pack, but that was always true.

Further, for professional images, you need more than something captured on a camera phone. So being trained and then actively pursuing a professional career is wise if your heart is set on this field. Images will always be important in storytelling.

The other side of the industry today is that you have to work very hard at self-promotion. Make yourself known so that you have a chance at earning a living in a crowded field. If this is your heart’s desire, go for it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a single mom with two teenage children. I spent a lot of time and energy working with my daughter to ensure that she did well in school, and I got her into a great college.

My son is more difficult. I feel like I have run out of steam. He is not a great student, and I just can’t seem to rally for him the way I did for my daughter. I know this isn’t right. How can I get motivated to get him over the hump? He is a good kid and he deserves my attention, but I have not been able to give it like I know I should. -- Slacking Off

DEAR SLACKING OFF: Now is the time for you to dig deep in your mama reserves and think about your son. Yes, you are tired -- deservedly. Being a single mom can drain you of energy because you have to do everything. But you cannot give up now. Instead, rally the troops. Find your village, and ask for support. Talk to friends who may have children with academic challenges. Talk to the guidance counselor at your son’s school to find out what can be done to support his studies. Ask adult men in your life to step in as role models to help uplift your son and point him in the right direction.

Don’t feel that you are alone. There have to be people in your community who would be willing to talk to your son and offer a helping hand. Muster up the energy to enlist their support. This should give you energy as well.

Talk to your son, and tell him that you want him to succeed and you want to do everything you can to help him, but that you need him to step up, too. Partner with him during this time before he goes to college or work. He needs to know that you have his back. This should motivate him, too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into an old flame the other day, and I have to tell you -- my heart started beating fast just like it did 15 years ago when I first met him. This man is fine! And he’s a sweetheart. We have only been friends because the timing was never right. That’s true now, too. I am married, though not happily. But I’m not trying to leave my husband or have an affair. I just am acknowledging that this man floats my boat. Do I dare tell him how my body reacts to him whenever I see him, or is this something that I keep to myself? -- Hot Flash

DEAR HOT FLASH: You already know the answer. If you can’t do anything about your feelings, don’t share them. It is not fair to anyone for you to state how this man makes you feel. Keep it to yourself. If possible, channel that energy back to your husband. Know that you have the capacity to still get all “hot and bothered” as a mature person. That’s got to be a good feeling. But do not let anyone in on the secret!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)