DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to be the one in my friend group who paid for everything. I earned a lot more money, so whenever our group would go out, I would pick up the tab. I had no problem doing that. But times have changed. I got downsized at my job, and I don’t have enough disposable income to foot the bill anymore.

I created the expectation in the group that I take care of everything. I am embarrassed to say anything to them about it. Plus, I worry that I will lose my friends if I can’t pay for them anymore. I know that sounds weird, but I never thought about it before. What if that’s the only reason some of them have stayed my friend? I realize I’m losing confidence because of my situation. I don’t know what to do. -- Losing it All

DEAR LOSING IT ALL: Step back. Take a deep breath. Collect yourself. Your life has changed, and you need to come to terms with that. You have to own your truth before you let your friends know. There is no shame in not being able to be the bank for your friends. It was generous of you in the past, but those days are over. In terms of your concern about whether you will lose friends because your pockets aren’t as deep, watch how that unfolds. If you see that some “friends” check out after you aren’t rolling in the dough, good riddance to them. Don’t take it personally. That means you needed to weed them out anyway.

You will need to tell your friends that you can no longer pay for your get-togethers. You may be surprised to learn that some friends prefer that. Being equal to one another can be empowering to people. You do not need to feel guilty in any way for not being able to pay for the whole party.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a party earlier this year, and two of my guests ended up falling for each other. They told me a few weeks ago, and I am happy for them. I never considered myself a matchmaker before.

Now I worry about what happens if it doesn’t work out. From what I know about these people, he is super chill and she is a live wire. If it doesn’t work out, will I be held responsible? Yes, they are both adults, but still, they met on my watch. Am I freaking out for no reason? How should I react to these two being “in love” and claiming that it happened at my party? -- Feeling Responsible

DEAR FEELING RESPONSIBLE: You are being Debbie Downer. Lighten up. Your friends have shared with you that they are grateful that you created a space where they were able to find each other. This is wonderful. It is also not a guarantee of anything. You should feel no responsibility for the health or future of their bond. Instead, wish them well, and let them work out their relationship.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter just started back to high school, and she seems sad. She made a few friends last year, but she discovered that she is not in any classes with them this year. She thought that she would find some comfort in this new, big school because she had her crew to rely on, but she is finding herself having to be solo again. It seems that she is feeling vulnerable. How can I help her? -- Lost Her Peeps

DEAR LOST HER PEEPS: Social dynamics are important for high school students, so it is understandable that your daughter feels a bit off-kilter since she has no classes with her friends.

Help her to see that this can be a positive experience. She is in school in order to learn and grow. That means her focus in class should be targeted on her studies. Sometimes friends can become distracted when they are in class together. Urge your daughter to become laser focused on her work while she is in class. Encourage her to be actively engaged, to raise her hand a lot and to take participation seriously.

On the friend front, she can find times during lunch, free periods or after school to spend time with her crew. Also, since she is in class with other people, she may find that her friend group will expand or shift based on who she is getting to know this year.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I know that exposing my children to cultural activities will help to expand their minds, and it might even help them on tests. I have tried to get them to go with me to various cultural events in our city, but as they are getting older, they constantly protest whenever I suggest that we go to a museum, art show or fair. I don’t want to give up on exposing them to these things, but it is getting really hard to convince them to go with an open mind. What can I do to get them interested? -- Expand Your Horizons

DEAR EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS: Changing your children’s mindset is the biggest challenge you are facing. Forcing them to participate in these activities may create the unintended consequence of them dreading all cultural engagements. That is the opposite of your intention. So tread carefully. You have to get them genuinely interested.

What if you look for cultural activities with your children so that they participate in selecting where you will go? Look at community bulletin boards and various websites to learn what’s going on in your town. You may want to assign your children the task of identifying the top three potential things to do -- within a particular distance and price point. The more you can empower them to make choices, the more they may get into the idea of continuing the family tradition.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A client of mine contacted me recently to see if I would work on a project with her. It was a generous offer, but not a great fit. I do know someone that I think would be better for the project, and I told her that I would put them in touch with each other. There is potential for a lot of money to be made on this thing. I now think that if I introduce them, I should get a cut of the deal. Is that wrong of me to think? How can I go about getting myself in the finances of this thing? -- Want a Cut

DEAR WANT A CUT: It is true that some people broker relationships and formally introduce people with the understanding that if something comes of the deal, they should get a piece of it. In your case, that is not the relationship that you have with either party. I think it would be awkward to introduce the idea now. It also might give them a bad impression of you.

Instead, you can follow up with each of them to see if something manifested due to your connection. You can add that you hope that they keep you in mind if other projects come up that might be right for you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are cleaning out our house, and we realize that we have too much of everything, including books. We have hundreds of books that we have collected over the years, and there is nowhere to put them. We were going to just put them out, but then it occurred to me that I could sell them. We have flea markets in my city, or maybe I could do a yard sale of just books. Do you think that sounds silly, or is it viable? I know that people don’t read as much as they once did, but I bet there will be some people who will find a book sale appealing. I would discount the books in order to move them. What do you think? -- Book Sale

DEAR BOOK SALE: A book sale is a great idea. You can host one now, but you might also think about doing one right before the holidays. Books make great gifts. Categorize the books based on subject, genre and audience so that it is easy for people to review them. You can make the books an easy sell by keeping the prices really low. For example, you could price them anywhere between $1 and $5, no matter how much the books originally cost. Just make sure you have change so that the transactions can be managed with ease.

Look for opportunities where there will be some foot traffic, such as a street fair, bazaar, church fundraiser or other event. You may have to pay a small vendor’s fee, but the traffic might be worth it. You can do a yard sale if you live in an area where many people naturally pass by. The key to success in this endeavor is getting enough people to stop by to consider buying a book. When it is over, give the remaining books to your local library or community center. Do not put them back in your house!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)