DEAR HARRIETTE: In recent years, I have gone up a size almost every year. It’s awful. I have been working like crazy at an office job that doesn’t allow me to work out much. But this is not good. I know it’s not healthy for me to have put on so much weight.

I recently started buying stretchy clothes so that I wouldn’t have to keep upgrading my wardrobe, but I know that’s not a real solution. What do you recommend to help keep off the pounds when I’m too busy to get in the squats? -- Need to Lose Weight

DEAR NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT: It is time to evaluate your priorities. Yes, a time-consuming job is understandable, but if you don’t have your health, your fancy job won’t matter at all. You should make time to exercise at least three times a week. Do your best to carve out time for this.

To lose weight, though, the biggest culprit that health educators point to is what you put between your lips -- what you eat or drink. The number of calories that you ingest daily has a direct effect on how much weight you gain, maintain or lose. What you can do right now is to change your eating habits. Cut down on carbs. Eat more fruits and vegetables. Drink water. Don’t eat late at night. If you follow these simple rules, you can start to shed pounds. Good luck!

DEAR HARRIETTE: A new restaurant just opened up in my neighborhood, right next door to a restaurant that has been dying on the vine for years. I am friendly with the owner of the old spot, and I feel kind of bad going to the new place, but I want to check it out. It is drawing crowds of new customers, and, as they say, there’s a lot of heat around it. But it’s sad and awkward to see the old restaurant sitting there empty. I feel bad when they see me go over to the new place. I have stopped going to their place because I’m not sure what to say. What should I do? -- Split Loyalty

DEAR SPLIT LOYALTY: If you still like the old place, don’t give it up entirely just because a new one has joined the block. Be brave and go to both. When you visit at your friend’s place, do not feel that you have to give a report about the new place. Instead, just be present and with them during your time together. If they ask you questions about the new establishment, tell the truth. Be careful not to bad-mouth the other place because you are with your friend. Be neutral and honest. If you notice things they can do that may enhance their own experience, you can share, but be careful. You do not want to be in the position of savior. Stay in the role of friend.

You can tell your friend that you will always appreciate them and be a customer, but you do intend to visit the other restaurant from time to time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: The busiest season of the year has begun, and I seem to be getting a lot of invitations for events. I realize that I have gotten more than one invitation for a particular night, and I wish I could attend both events. One is a cocktail reception, and the other is a more formal dinner. Is it OK to go to the cocktail party briefly and then head to the dinner? I would be early for one and a little late for the other. I don’t want to be rude, but both are important for my work. -- RSVP

DEAR RSVP: Look closely at the invitations to see what is reasonable for you to do. If there is enough time for you to drop by the cocktail hour briefly and still arrive at the dinner before the meal will be served, go for it. What you don’t want to do is hold up the meal service at the formal event because you are tardy. You should also speak to the host of each event to explain your plans in advance. In this way, you will have managed their expectations.

When you go to the events, be strategic. Survey the room at the cocktail party. Figure out who you want to greet, and go directly to those people so that you use your time effectively. Be sure to greet the host. Since you will have already indicated that you will be leaving early, there is no need to say goodbye, which might disrupt the flow of the event.

At the dinner, arrive discreetly and do your best to insert yourself into the activities without calling too much attention to yourself.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband constantly flirts with other women when we go out together. I find it annoying and rude. When I mention it to him, he says I am being too sensitive and that I need to lighten up. If his behavior makes me uncomfortable, I don’t want to overlook it.

For example, if we are out for dinner at a nice restaurant, he will take his eyes off me and notice the woman walking by or sitting at the next table and stop to compliment her on what she is wearing or even her fragrance. I think that’s going too far. He says he is being friendly. I would like for him to be friendly to me. How can I get him to understand how I feel? I hate this. -- Notice Me

DEAR NOTICE ME: Draw a line. Tell him how uncomfortable it makes you for him to constantly flirt with other women when you two are out together. You are not being too sensitive. You believe he is being inappropriate. Ask him to stop. If he refuses, perhaps you should stop going out with him.

This does point to a bigger issue, though. If your husband is unwilling to stop paying attention to other women when he is with you, perhaps there is a problem in your marriage. Do your best to get him to talk about what’s going on in his head.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a new friend who has a child who she says is “on the spectrum.” I have heard the term, of course, but I have never met anyone who has autism or is considered to be on the spectrum, at least not to my knowledge.

My friend talks about some of the challenges he has interacting with other children. I would like to be ready to engage this child in a supportive way, but I don’t have a clue as to what to do. I have done some reading, enough to figure out that there are all kinds of things that could be going on with a person who is on the spectrum. Would it be rude for me to ask my new friend what she recommends? I know this is a sensitive topic, but she did bring it up. -- On the Spectrum

DEAR ON THE SPECTRUM: The most thoughtful action you can take is to speak up and tell your friend that you have thought about what she told you about her son, and you want her input so that you can welcome him in an appropriate and loving manner. Ask for her advice on how to approach him.

Many children who are on the spectrum do not like too much physical contact, and sometimes loud noises and other such disruptions can be difficult. Ask your friend what stimuli work for her son and what he tends to avoid. Chances are, she will be relieved to learn that you are proactively trying to figure out how to best engage her son. For more ideas, go to: bit.ly/2oS6JCC.

DEAR HARRIETTE; I posted some photos on social media of my family from a recent get-together. One of my friends who has known my family for decades was mostly complimentary about the people in the pictures, but when he got to my sister -- the one who was often mean to me when I was a child -- he said she looked old and tired. I don’t necessarily see that when I look at her. I think he was trying to be nice to me because he knows how upset I used to get about how she treated me, but I still didn’t like it. Should I say something to him, or just leave it alone? -- Defending My Sister

DEAR DEFENDING MY SISTER: The moment has passed. You should let it go. If you have the occasion to speak to this friend again about your sister, share positive input about your most recent interactions with her. If you have been able to move past your childhood behaviors and establish a good rapport with her, share that with your friend.

You can also thank him for wanting to have your back when he saw your sister’s photo, but let him know that you are able to manage your emotions now. If you let him know that you are OK with her now, you will free him to have no more need for judgment of her either.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)