DEAR HARRIETTE: I was recently hospitalized due to a health scare. I am now working with my doctor to figure out what’s going on. I’m on top of it, but I really want to keep my health status private.

I am a freelancer of a certain age, and I don’t need anybody questioning my abilities due to what I hope will be a momentary health challenge. I have chosen not to tell anybody outside my closest confidants, so I was shocked when I got a text from a distant friend offering me prayers for my health because she had heard I was unwell. While I appreciate her sentiments, I was surprised that she even knew. I talk to her a couple of times a year.

I later found out that my husband told a colleague who immediately told this woman. While it was nice to hear from her, I am not happy. My husband knows how private I am. Yet he said something anyway. I know I can’t put the genie back in the bottle, but how can I manage what is sure to be a buzz about my health? -- Not Your Business

DEAR NOT YOUR BUSINESS: Chances are, your husband didn’t mean to spill the beans. He is concerned about you, and since you were at the top of mind, his thoughts spilled out. Don’t beat him up too badly. Instead, remind him of the importance of keeping your health issues private for personal and professional reasons.

As for the person who reached out, it sounds like she hit the right note, in that she offered you blessings and did not ask you about health details. If others reach out to you, you can respond with gratitude for their good wishes and with assurances that you are OK.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It has been a few weeks since I have started the new semester. Many of the classes I have chosen have been challenging but satisfying due to the amazing professors I have.

However, I have one professor who does not seem to put an effort into the class. He is a nice gentleman in his 60s who has been teaching at the university for many years. I looked at his reviews, and they were all positive. Once classes started, it was a bit off. I thought it was understandable since it was the first day of class, and many professors work differently. It’s been several weeks, and we have barely learned anything. So far, the class has been doing discussions on topics we barely learned while the professor just sits back. This class has not taught me anything valuable, but it is required for my degree credits. What do I do in this situation? -- Confused Student

DEAR CONFUSED STUDENT: Ask your professor for more engagement on a personal level so that you can understand the material better. Also, speak to your adviser to find out if you can switch to another section of the class taught by someone else. It would be best if you can change. If you cannot, either work with this professor or drop the class and take it with someone else next semester.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am finding myself at a loss for how to be politically correct when it comes to talking about gender identity. My neighbor’s child -- who was born female -- says that she now identifies as “they.” I do my best to remember, but it doesn’t come natural to me yet.

Beyond that, I see that the language is changing a lot, and I am totally lost. It used to be that people were gay or straight. Now it’s LGBTQ. Or non-binary conforming -- but what does that mean? I don’t want to sound dumb or outdated, but I honestly don’t understand the new realm of gender identity, let alone how to talk about it. Can you help? -- Gender Confusion

DEAR GENDER CONFUSION: At least part of the culture in which we live today is making a concerted effort to be more welcoming of all people, and that includes people who do not conform to the standard definitions of gender identity. For many, this occurs when family members or friends present themselves in ways that do not follow the traditional definitions of “male” or “female.” When loved ones actively claim other ways of defining themselves, those they love often make an effort to support them. This is true even for conservative people who may grapple with their own value systems when it comes to gender identity.

How one defines oneself when the language has been limited to male and female can be a daunting task. It is one that folks have struggled with for generations. I am no expert, but I do know that there is a lot of literature out there that can be supportive. To the point of non-binary, my understanding is that if someone is not comfortable with being singularly either male or female, the person is considered non-binary. The next choices are broadening.

LGBTQ is an acronym that helps some. It means lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer, and it serves as a general category outside of the male/female, straight/homosexual buckets. There is also a movement for people to claim their pronouns -- he, she or they -- in an effort to further define how one identifies.

You should read up on this topic. But if you approach people with respect and openness, you are off to a good start. If you get the label wrong but your intention is good, chances are, you will be able to expand your vocabulary simply by asking for clarification.

For more details, visit bit.ly/2v9ADFn or bit.ly/2S4cn0o. Activist Jodie Patterson, a mother of five with a trans child, wrote a book, “The Bold World: A Memoir of Family and Transformation” that can be very helpful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend loves to wear makeup, and she usually wears bright red lipstick. It looks great on her, and I appreciate the fact that she likes to dress up. What I don’t like is when her lipstick gets on my clothes. It makes me crazy. How can I get her to lay off the red lipstick? She has destroyed several of my favorite shirts just by reaching up to give me a kiss. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but something’s got to give. -- No More Lipstick Stains

DEAR NO MORE LIPSTICK STAINS: Surprise your girlfriend and go to the makeup store and buy her some 24-hour matte red lipstick. Believe it or not, she will still be able to wear red literally all day long, but it won’t wipe off. You should tell her why you bought it so that she herself will make the switch to the 18- or 24-hour variety.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got into a huge argument with a woman who said she wanted to help me work on my business plan. She agreed to a particular fee; it was low, but promised higher returns when I met with success. After beginning to do the work, she flaked time and again, insulted me along the way and never completed what she agreed to do. On top of all of that, she had the nerve to say that I didn’t know what I was doing and that I would never amount to anything. It was awful.

I hear people say how wonderful it is for women to work together. That has not been my experience. Women are usually the ones who stab me in the back. How can I get over this feeling that I can’t trust women to be in my corner? -- Duped By a Woman

DEAR DUPED BY A WOMAN: This one experience does not need to represent the whole of your engagement with women. Do your best to look at this in isolation. Evaluate it carefully. What merit, if any, do this woman’s comments have? Is there something you could have done differently that might have helped the project to be more successful? Can you recall ever speaking to her in disparaging tones? Reflect on your behavior, and acknowledge anything that you could have handled differently.

Next, end this relationship. You do not need to work with someone who is rude and unproductive. Sever your ties. Let her know that you are disappointed with the way that she handled herself. Pay her only what you are legally bound to pay.

Do your best to keep your disdain for women limited to her. Resist the urge to look upon all women with the same lens. See each person for who she is. Your life will be richer if you can.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son was not a very good student in high school, and now he is reaping what he sowed. He has applied to quite a few colleges, but he does not have a good chance of getting in to any of his favorites. I convinced him to apply to a few state schools and even community colleges as safety schools. He got mad at me when I made these recommendations, but I know that it is tough to get in to good schools, even when you have good grades. How can I encourage my son to keep trying when it is likely that he will have slim pickings? -- Next Stop College

DEAR NEXT STOP COLLEGE: Talk to your son about his future. What does he want to do with his life? It is absolutely time for him to take steps to make that happen. You cannot do it for him.

Point out that if his career of choice requires higher education, he needs to raise his grades in order to get it. Community college is one way to take classes and up his GPA, which may give him a chance to complete his education at a four-year college or university. Encourage him to take these next steps seriously. Make it clear that you do not intend to support him financially when he is an adult, so he must figure it out now.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)