DEAR HARRIETTE: My father passed away when I was 14 years old. Many think that it was traumatic, and it was, but I never had a great relationship with my father, so I hid my grief. My dad was negligent and abusive to me. There was never a day when he and I didn’t fight. He never fed me, bought me new clothes or took me to my dance rehearsals. My father also didn’t leave behind a will, so I did not inherit any money from him. So in short, I never had a close or loving relationship with my father. However, recently I have been having pains in my chest. It is hard for me to say, but I miss my father. Even though he did so many horrible things to my mother and me, I still miss him. Is it normal to feel this way? -- Daddy Issues

DEAR DADDY ISSUES: Grief presents itself at different times in people’s lives, often in a delayed manner -- especially for people who had unresolved issues with loved ones before they died. It is normal for you to have conflicting feelings rising up about your dad. Yes, it makes sense that you could miss your father and experience deep love for him even though he hurt your feelings. He was your dad.

Talk to your mother about what’s happening to you. Since you are having physical pains associated with your emotions, it might be worth it for you to talk to a grief counselor. Perhaps your mother can arrange for this through your insurance, or you can speak to a guidance counselor at school to find out if you can get support through them during this time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband has an old college friend who has come back into the picture. She is very nice, but I also find her a bit clingy. She is single, and she is constantly asking him to fix her up on dates.

My husband is in his 60s, and we’ve been married for many years. He is hardly on the dating scene. Sometimes I wonder if she is trying to steal his attention. She makes me uncomfortable. At the same time, my husband seems to be happy checking in on her from time to time. They go out for drinks and have gone to a museum. I went with them once, but it wasn’t fun for me. What can I do to ensure that this woman doesn’t try to muscle in on my man? -- Jealous

DEAR JEALOUS: There’s a saying about keeping your enemies close. While she may not really be an enemy, she is a lonely woman. Rather than encouraging or even condoning drinks with her, invite her to join you guys at home for dinner and drinks. Create comfortable opportunities for all three of you to be together. You can get to know her. You can welcome her into your home and make it clear what your life is like while also creating space for your husband to enjoy time with his old friend without too much space for her to make a move, if she is so inclined.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend I have known for ages. I considered her to be family. There was an incident, however, that changed it all. One day, my friend and I went to a convenience store to pick up a few things. I asked her if she wanted anything -- even told her that I would pay -- but she declined. So I purchased my items and left the store.

When we were a block away from the store, she pulled out several candy bars. I was shocked. I asked her if she had purchased them, and she said, “I stole them.” I told her to go back and return the candy, but she wouldn’t listen to me. She’s done it numerous times since. I was, and still am, disgusted by her actions.

My biggest problem is that my other friends do not know her bad habits. I want to tell them because I do not trust going anywhere with her after she pulled that stunt, but I worry that they would think I am snitching on her. She is my good friend, but I have a lingering fear of what kind of trouble she could face if she gets caught. Do my other friends have a right to know? -- Speechless

DEAR SPEECHLESS: Arrange a face-to-face meeting with your friend. Tell her you don’t trust her anymore. Ask her why she steals. Tell her you are concerned that she will steal again while with you or with mutual friends, and that that is unacceptable. Point out that you can be considered an accessory if she is caught while you are together. Suggest that she get help to deal with her desire to steal. Tell her you think your mutual friends need to know and that you plan to tell them unless she would like to speak to them first. Give her the courtesy of letting her know your plans.

Let your friends know what happened, that you have told her of your intention to talk to them and of your desire to support her as she works through this problem. You may want to avoid going to places where she might steal if you continue to distrust her. For more ideas on handling this difficult situation, visit adv4life.com/article/what-to-do-if-your-friend-shoplifts.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter just started liking a boy who likes her back. They have talked on the phone a few times, but recently I learned that one of her best friends has started dating this boy. From what I can gather, this friend started moving in on him after she learned that he and my daughter were talking. How awful. I feel so bad for my daughter, but I’m not sure what to do. I feel like she has to work through this on her own, but as her mother, I hate to see her hurting. SOS! -- Betrayed Daughter

DEAR BETRAYED DAUGHTER: Be a sounding board for your daughter. Give advice only if she asks for it. There is no simple solution. She can confront her friend. She can see how it plays out with the boy -- see who he chooses. When she is ready to talk about it, you can point out that she should be mindful of any friend who would intentionally try to steal a “boyfriend” from her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I worked with one company for several years on a freelance basis. I recently completed my last job with them, as I took another job. I thought we parted on good terms, but I question it now because I have not received my last check.

In the past, the company always paid on time. In fact, it was one of my only clients to be consistent with pay. Now that I am no longer working for the company, it has missed a pay period. I am kind of freaked out. How should I handle this? I don’t want to burn any bridges, and I definitely need the money I am owed. What should I do? -- One More Check

DEAR ONE MORE CHECK: Stay positive and assume that the company made a mistake in payroll. Contact the person who handles payment and -- pleasantly -- ask about the status of your compensation. Ask if you need to resubmit the paperwork and when you can expect to receive payment. If you do not hear back, or if the response is unsatisfactory, reach out to your direct contact to ask for support in getting your invoice paid. Continue to be pleasant, assuming the positive unless and until you receive communication that suggests that the company does not intend to pay your invoice. In that case, you may need to ask an attorney to intervene.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been worried for a long time. As a college student, you are required to know what you want to do. I have an idea of what I want, but it’s not set in stone. I love to draw and write. I have created big projects for myself and shared them with others. My dream is to one day show my work to the world, but that dream is a hit-or-miss proposition. I need to think realistically, since some make it big, while others don’t. I am currently aiming to go to law school and become a lawyer, but I have been having second thoughts.

Lately, I have been looking into fine arts schools so that I can focus on what I like and improve my writing and art. However, I don’t want my family to think that my dreams are useless and a waste of a college education. I am worried that I am not following my dreams, but following other people’s expectations. It feels like where I am at is just a big waste of time. I am at a crossroads, and I don’t know what to do. I am almost a junior, and I am all over the place. What should I do? -- Scared for the Future

DEAR SCARED FOR THE FUTURE: You cannot live anyone else’s life. You have to live your own. If you do not want to be an attorney, don’t go that route. It’s way too time-consuming and expensive to pursue -- unless you are committed to it. If your love is the arts, start doing some serious research to determine what types of jobs exist in your areas of interest. Then find an educational program that will teach you how to do that. You may be able to have a job in the arts as you also develop your creative talents for a fine arts career. Figure out what is possible, and go for it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)