DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in New York City, and the disparity between the haves and have-nots is so real, it’s scary. We are an average family, but we see now that being middle class almost equals being poor these days. Many of my neighbors packed up and shipped out as soon as news of the pandemic hit our city, which has more cases than anywhere else. It was like a Friday evening in the summer, when everybody goes to the Hamptons or to wherever their country homes are. We don’t have a country home.

A lot of my kids’ friends have left. As they are talking over Snapchat, my kids now realize that most of their friends who once seemed equal to them are actually way better off in their fancy second homes.

How do I keep my kids calm and deal with everything that’s going on when part of it is hard to discuss, including why the disparities are so different from family to family? Suddenly I feel poor and disadvantaged. -- Haves and Have-Nots

DEAR HAVES AND HAVE-NOTS: Continue the conversation that I hope you have been having already, namely that people’s means vary widely, but their value as individuals is not reflected by their bank accounts. Without being envious, it is OK to say that it’s great for those who can afford it to own second homes. There’s nothing wrong with that, nor is it “less than” to have only one home.

Explain to your kids that your family lives based on its means, which may be different from some of their friends. Ask your children to tell you what they feel is important in life. Encourage them to talk about what they care about, what they value and what they are willing to fight for. Point out that these core points are more important than how much money they have.

Also be sure to encourage them to learn to admire what others have without feeling jealous. We are all different.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend told me that she is going to try to get pregnant during this time that we are all sequestered at home. She got married last year, and she and her husband had planned to wait until they got their finances in order. Then she said, “What the heck? We are home all day. Why not make a baby?”

She asked my opinion, but I’m afraid to tell her how bad an idea I think that is. Who knows if either of them will be employed in the coming months? Should I tell her my thoughts or just stay quiet? -- Solicited Advice

DEAR SOLICITED ADVICE: Since your friend specifically asked you what you think about her idea to get pregnant now, you have permission to tell her the truth. You are right to want her to pause before making such a pivotal, life-altering decision. Having children is a huge responsibility that comes with financial requirements. In the best of worlds, your friend will be in the most secure position possible before deciding to get pregnant. No need to pass judgment, but do share your feelings -- only because she asked. Whatever her decision, be sure to support her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband thinks that he is invincible. He never gets sick -- or so he says. He is not afraid of the new coronavirus. Meanwhile, my three kids and I suffer from asthma.

Reports say that anybody with asthma should be extra careful right now. We have been staying at home and following the rules, but it’s hard to know if we will be safe when my husband goes out every day without a mask or gloves and seems oblivious to the health risks. Am I being overly paranoid? How can I get him to be more cautious -- if not for himself, then for us? -- Fair Warning

DEAR FAIR WARNING: Gather research that explains the risks of coronavirus, especially to people with respiratory conditions. Because it often causes a so-far-untreatable form of pneumonia, it is particularly dangerous for someone with a compromised pulmonary system.

Show your husband that it is essential for you and your children to limit your exposure to the disease. That includes not being in close contact with anyone who is out and about and not taking the recommended precautions. Ask your husband to help keep you safe by wearing protective gear, showering and changing his clothes the moment he comes into your house, keeping his distance from you during this questionable period and taking this situation seriously.

Here is a layman’s description of how one gets sick from the disease: bit.ly/2vOfAbX. Invite your husband to read it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am so worried about how to survive right now. I have a decent job, and I have been able to make ends meet in the past, but my family barely lives beyond paycheck-to-paycheck. I’m afraid that I am going to be laid off if this epidemic doesn’t change soon. I need to decide what to pay and what not to pay so that I have enough money to buy food. I had good credit going into this. What can I say to my creditors? I don’t want to just stop paying bills, but I think I have to. -- Dealing With Debt

DEAR DEALING WITH DEBT: You are not alone, and this is a time when that may work to your advantage. Gather your bills, and figure out exactly what you owe and to whom. Rather than running away from your creditors, be proactive. Contact each of them and explain your circumstances. Stay calm and focused. Ask for debt forgiveness, deferred payment plans or waived late penalties. Be direct when you ask for them to work with you. Make it clear that you are not trying to walk away from your responsibilities, but circumstances mean that you need to figure out a different way to handle these bills. Chances are, your candor and proactive approach will yield you the best possible results. It may take time, and it could be humiliating, but stick to your reality. Do not agree to pay more than you can afford at this time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My school has recently gone online for the duration of the spring semester due to the COVID-19 virus outbreak. The professors are scrambling to adjust to these new changes. I am worried about how I am going to adjust. I am anxious about taking online classes; I work better when I can physically see the professor. I have been doing well, and my GPA is decently high; I don’t want this to drop my grades. What can I do to stop thinking of the worst-case scenario? And how do I adjust to the sudden changes? -- Virtual Student

DEAR VIRTUAL STUDENT: You and your professors are all in this together. The learning curve is significant, and hopefully your professors will keep that in mind when it comes to teaching and grading. What you can and must do is submit questions whenever you do not understand something. Be insistent when you are unclear. Ask your professors for guidance, and make it clear whenever you are struggling. Find out if your professors will offer virtual office hours when you can speak one-on-one or in small groups to address your concerns. The more you ask for what you need, the better your professors will be able to design the curriculum and support services that will help all students learn in this new reality.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just started “talking to” a guy before school was canceled and we were told we can’t get together with friends. We talk on SnapChat because that’s how kids communicate, but this can only last so long. Normally kids my age start hanging out by now so that they get to know each other better. I’m not quite sure what to do. I have never dated before, but I like this guy, and I know he likes me. How can we keep things moving forward without it getting awkward? I have no idea when we will see each other in person again. -- Puppy Love

DEAR PUPPY LOVE: Years ago, people became pen pals when they couldn’t physically be in each other’s company but they wanted to stay close. SnapChat is a modern version of this idea. You are right: It can grow old fast if it feels like it’s time to go to the next level. It’s time to get creative. Since you both like each other even though it’s new, you can continue to send your funny messages by Snap, but also consider literally talking on the phone or texting as a bridge to talking. Engaging in lengthier conversations will help you to get to know each other better. The question will be who introduces the idea first. Consider putting it out there -- ask if he would like to text you sometime. That could feel scary because it is a next step toward intimacy, but someone needs to make the move to keep your interaction alive.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)