DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got out of a relationship not too long ago that I believe was toxic for both of us. We took our time apart, but he has appeared again in my life asking to start over and be friends. He says that he is different and he wants me to get to know the “new” him; however, I am not sure what to do. Should we be friends and see if there is a relationship for us in the future, or should I just leave it alone and move on and continue healing? I need some help. -- A Girl on the Rise

DEAR A GIRL ON THE RISE: Trust your gut. You say that you “just got out of a relationship” and that it was “toxic.” It probably took a lot for you to be able to extricate yourself from this relationship. I suggest that you stay the course and build your life independent of your ex. You can congratulate him on turning his life around and wish him well. But don’t welcome him back so soon. Even if he has had an "aha!" moment and is committed to being a better man, he needs time to practice that. Encourage him to live his life as you live yours. Don’t go backward. Stay on the rise.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just read your advice to the woman whose dog passed away and wanted her neighbor to be there for the dog's funeral. As a “mother” of an almost-16-year-old dog, I just had to write a response to the neighbor who felt this was “over the top.” She should feel honored that she was invited to this funeral. It shows what the dog mom thinks of her in wanting her to be there to share her grief. I am glad the dog mom does not know how the neighbor feels about this, and I am equally glad that you told her to keep it to herself.

My husband and I were never able to have children, and we decided against adoption for various reasons. My dog has become my “son,” and I love him like any mother would love their human child. I know I will lose him soon, and the loss will be tremendous. I wonder to myself how am I going to go on without him. He is truly the light of my life. My husband knows this; a love between a parent and a child is different than a love between spouses.

I hope you will share this response with the neighbor who feels the dog funeral is “over the top.” I feel she needed a little more explanation. -- Proud To Be a Dog Mom

DEAR PROUD TO BE A DOG MOM: Thank you for sharing your story. You are right -- for many people who do not have children, their pets take on that role. And the love shared between pets and their owners can be strong. I have witnessed this in my own family and with friends and neighbors.

Back to the point of the original question: If you are invited to the funeral of a pet, consider it an honor to be included -- and participate with respect, whether or not you understand it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a really great job that has good benefits. The job itself isn’t what I think I would want to do forever, but I’m comfortable. Recently, there were proposals for the reduction of our benefits. Some of those proposals were passed, which resulted in the loss of those benefits. Now I worry that I could potentially lose more than what I’m willing to live with.

At this point in my life, I’m at a crossroads. Should I continue on my current path because I’m comfortable, or should I start searching for a career that entertains my true interests, especially since the benefits here aren’t guaranteed anyway? -- Crossroads Millennial

DEAR CROSSROADS MILLENIAL: If you are not working toward what you want your career to be, make a plan to get to the job of your dreams. That doesn’t mean that you should up and leave your job now. Instead, do your research. Figure out what truly interests you. Then look for stable companies that offer those opportunities. If it is possible to see what benefits these companies offer, figure that out as well. In some instances, people supplement their insurance and other benefits themselves in order to pursue their dreams. There are many ways to get to your goal.

DEAR HARRIETTE: The Black Lives Matter movement is the biggest topic today, aside from COVID-19. The world is changing, and the truth about people in our surroundings has been coming to light. My white friends are backing all lives matter, and I’m confused about what to think and feel. Why don’t they see why BLM is important? Have I been blind to their true feelings about Black people all this time? Have they been blind to their own feelings about Black people? How do I continue these friendships? Should I? I am in shock because there is a lot of love here, but I feel for the first time that we are just too different after all. I want to bridge our races, as I thought we were doing this whole time. Was it all fake? -- Lost in This World

DEAR LOST IN THIS WORLD: Honest, robust conversations are beginning among people who normally do not talk about race. Research is revealing to many people nuances about the racial justice struggle that, hopefully, will open more eyes.

The fight between Black Lives Matter and all lives matter is based on perspective. The reason that Black Lives Matter became a thing is that Black life didn’t seem to matter to many people. Black men and women were being executed on a regular basis with no repercussions -- whether the murderer was a citizen or a police officer. The notion of all lives matter emerged as a reaction to BLM, suggesting that white lives, blue (police) lives and all people are important. That was never the issue. These other entities were not and are not under attack in the way that Black people are.

When you educate your friends about why upholding the value of life is necessary, this may help them to understand better. The intention of Black Lives Matter isn't that white lives -- or any other lives -- matter less. Instead, it is to point out that Black lives should not be disposable.

Don’t give up on your white friends. Start talking, reading together, sharing information and keeping the dialogue going. Education is key to liberation.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 25 years old, and I just finished my master’s degree. I want to start my own businesses from home. I’ve begun an online closet, and I am studying to receive my real estate license. I still live at home with my family and pay a majority of the bills because I happen to be the biggest breadwinner. Lately, I’ve been feeling congested -- like I don’t have my own workspace to develop. Since quarantine, I do everything within my small bedroom: sleep, relax, work, exercise. I have nowhere else to extend myself. I need a desk with a workspace and a place to keep my store inventory separate. Living in New York City is expensive, and I can’t find anywhere affordable to move. What are my options? -- Living in a Box

DEAR LIVING IN A BOX: Patience is key here. It would be best for you to get one of your businesses off the ground and making money before you take on more debt. Can you give yourself 12 to 18 months to work toward this goal? If you can do that, you will likely have a better chance to make a smooth transition to independence.

You should also look outside of New York City proper for housing that may be more affordable. Consider getting a roommate. I know you share space with your family now, but moving in with a roommate may seem like a luxury compared to your current situation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got back from my hair appointment at my usual salon. When I made the appointment, they said their protocol is that I had to come with clean, dry hair. There would be no shampooing or blow drying -- what they call a dry haircut. So I went in to get my haircut, and when going to pay, not only did they charge their normal fee ($65) but an additional $3 for their costs for PPE. I totally understand they have been closed down since March, but is it right to charge full price when you’re only getting two-thirds of the service? They are using no shampoo, conditioner, electricity to dry -- not even any hairspray! I would think they would adjust their prices accordingly. I love my hairdresser, but I will NOT be going back. Am I right to be annoyed? Maybe there’s something I’m missing? -- Price Gouging

DEAR PRICE GOUGING: Your hairdresser made one critical mistake by not telling you everything about the new protocols, including the price for reduced services. Yes, it is understandable that they need to figure out how to make up for lost time. The challenge is going to be how to do so without offending their customers. You should speak to them and lodge your complaint. Ask for whatever compromise you want before completely walking away. If enough people complain, they may amend their policy. If not, it is likely that you can find a hairdresser with different pricing for services.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)