DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is in high school and wants to start taking guitar lessons. I want to give my son the best opportunity to succeed, but the truth is I can’t afford any private lessons right now. I have taken the steps to learn how to read sheet music so that I can teach him and we can learn together. But I’m not sure I can go as far as learning how to play the guitar from YouTube videos. I have tried to get him interested in other things that I can afford, but ever since he was a young boy, I have never seen him this passionate about wanting to start something new. How do I let him down easy and break it to him that the lessons are just out of reach for us right now? -- A Mother Making It Work

DEAR A MOTHER MAKING IT WORK: Your son is in high school, and he is passionate about the guitar. He is the one who should be scouring YouTube videos teaching himself how to read music and play. He is at the age where he needs to begin discovering his independence. Suggest that he do all the research he needs online to learn all that he can. While he may not have a physical guitar, he can learn how to play guitar music from his computer. He can also research online music classes that may be free.

You do not have to feel inadequate because you cannot afford these lessons. Encourage him to get creative and learn as much as he can with the tools available. Because of the challenges that COVID-19 has created for the school system, I don’t know how helpful his school will be right now in music support, but you should ask if they are offering any music programs that he might be able to join.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently I have gotten many solicitations from people offering to give me huge amounts of money if I respond to them. It really is annoying after a while. I’ve been told that they are scammers, but I don’t know how they got to me nor how to get rid of them. Plus, I get random calls from people trying to sell me everything known under the sun, including cheap vacation packages.

It got weird, though, when somebody called saying they were from the Social Security Administration, and I need to give them my Social Security number right away to make sure it was safe. I hung up, but I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do. That person sounded scary. It’s all pretty overwhelming. Can you help? -- Stop Scamming

DEAR STOP SCAMMING: There should be a feature in your email that allows you to identify scammers, report and block them. You also may be able to make your email and other social media platforms private so that you reduce the expanse of people and businesses that can reach you. To reduce scam callers, register your phone with the national Do Not Call list: 888-382-1222. To report potential scams, go to www.usa.gov/stop-scams-frauds to find the right reporting outlet for your problem.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am having some work done on my house. I can’t stay there, so I am staying with a friend to save some money toward my home repairs. I appreciate my friend taking me in for a few weeks and not charging me rent for a room. I am trying to remain humble and thankful, but my friend’s home living conditions are outrageous. She constantly blasts music throughout the day and night. She has a ton of old food in her fridge and leaves it out on the counter. She doesn’t take out her garbage regularly in the bathrooms or kitchen, and the dishes are dirty and piled up. I have been cleaning up often to help her out and after myself, of course, but after a few days of her not cleaning up, it's a mess all over again. I do not know how she gets by when I am not there to clean up for her.

I do not feel it's my place to say anything. I want to pack my things and run to a hotel, but I just can't afford it. How can I make this arrangement more viable for myself? -- Stay-at-Home Maid

DEAR STAY-AT-HOME MAID: Maybe you can take this approach: Ask your friend if you can have a chat. Thank her again for allowing you to live with her. Then tell her that you have noticed that she needs some help to keep her home in order. Point out that you have been cleaning and are happy to continue while you are there, but that there are a few things she could do that would help. Suggest that she devote an hour a day working with you in her home.

I say this because she clearly doesn’t have the discipline. If you make it fun and focused, you may be able to teach her a few things that will help to get her on track. Maybe you can work and talk. She needs to get engaged for it to be possible for her to develop new patterns. Gently encourage her to work with you a little bit each day.

No matter what, as long as you live there, you will need to pull more than your weight. You have to be OK with that. It beats rent that you cannot afford.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend and I have been friends for more than 10 years. We have a great relationship, we are always there for each other, we respect each other's decisions and we can have fun with each other no matter what.

When I look at other girlfriend relationships, sometimes I see them fight and talk about each other and then make up and go right back like nothing has ever happened. I know people who said situations like that have made their friendship stronger and have brought them closer. My best friend and I have never gotten into a fight or had any strong disagreements that put us on bad terms.

Is it healthy to have a relationship with no conflict, or is it expected to have at least one big fight? Is our friendship as strong as I think it is? -- Power Buddies

DEAR POWER BUDDIES: Consider your relationship a blessing, and stop questioning it. You are two of the lucky ones!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Gyms have just reopened, and I have returned to my regular schedule of working out every morning and late evening. I am typically the first one in and the last one out most days. Often when I am there, I notice an older gentleman at the gym who uses the machines and never cleans them. Even before COVID, gym etiquette said you clean a machine before and after each use. I’ve told management about this individual not cleaning the machines, but I’m not sure they have really done anything about it. They don’t even instruct staff to clean the machines, either.

I am ready to switch gyms after learning that they aren’t taking care of cleanliness. This is an important time to follow protocols. If this gym isn’t going to hold its staff and members accountable, how can they safely remain open? Is there some bigger action I can take to get them to take this seriously? -- Active Member

DEAR ACTIVE MEMBER: Before leaving the gym, be more assertive with your complaints. Write a formal letter to management about cleanliness. Point out the violator again, as well as the fact that the staff is not actively cleaning machines regularly. Demand that they speak to this man and generally to the membership about vigilance in cleanliness. Put them on notice that you will report them to authorities if they don’t tighten up their act.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is no longer attracted to me. We are not intimate anymore. I’ve tried so many different things to get my husband to notice me. I have changed up my hair and wardrobe. I have even started taking gym classes to slim down. He never compliments me or any of my new changes. When he comes home from work, he turns down intimacy because he is tired. I even tried surprising him with a vacation to get him away from work so we can focus on each other and reconnect. He made me cancel the trip, making excuses about not being able to leave work now and not wanting to leave our kids and dog with our parents. I am at the end of the road here and don’t know how to get my husband to love me again. I feel so lonely. -- Single Wife

DEAR SINGLE WIFE: When is the last time your husband had a physical? It may be that he is suffering silently with some kind of health concern. Many men experience erectile dysfunction as they age. Could he be grappling with that and embarrassed to let you know? Or perhaps he has some other health condition that has diminished his libido. Have you ruled out the possibility that he has another lover? Finally, some people do lose their libidos over time.

Start with a doctor’s visit -- if you can get him to go -- to do a thorough health check. Then, if you can convince him, visit a therapist together to talk about your marriage and your ideas about intimacy. If he won’t see a therapist, try having a direct conversation with him about it. Tell him you miss being with him and want to find your way back to intimacy.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)