DEAR HARRIETTE: I am probably what is called a high-functioning alcoholic. I drink a lot -- both with others and on my own. I do my job well, and I handle my business. Sometimes I am groggy during the day if I drank too much the night before, but mostly I manage just fine.

I was looking at my credit card statement recently and realized that I spent a lot of money last month on booze. That kind of alerted me to my reality. I’m sure my drinking is not good for my health, but I haven’t really been able to stop on my own. Since I don’t seem to be bothering anybody with it, does it even matter? I like to drink. My life is fine. Should I just leave well enough alone? -- Drinker

DEAR DRINKER: You have brought this up because on your own you have recognized that you drink too much. You don’t have to be a problem for other people to notice that your behavior is unhealthy for you. Give yourself credit for being aware of your situation. Chances are, there are issues you aren’t dealing with in your life that drinking helps to mask.

Your next step should be to get help. You can select a therapist who specializes in addictive behavior who can listen to you and help you unpack your situation and figure out a healthy way forward. You may also want to join Alcoholics Anonymous. This organization creates safe spaces for people to gather and talk about their addiction and support each other on their road to recovery.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I haven’t talked to my siblings in years. The last time we spoke, they were all just grabbing for money. I have a lucrative career, unlike the rest of them. They were insistent that I should supplement their lives because I can afford to do so. Never mind that they seem to have no motivation to improve their lives, except to insist that I do it for them. I got tired of that and cut ties with them. But recently I learned that one of my siblings is unwell. I don’t want to be estranged from them. I would like to be in touch, but I don’t want to have to be the bank for them. How should I handle this? -- Sibling Rivalry

DEAR SIBLING RIVALRY: Reach out to the sibling who is sick to see what’s going on. With no agenda other than learning about their health, be open to a conversation where anything goes. Don’t bring up old hurts. Stay focused on the present. Listen to learn what’s going on with them. You do not have to get involved in the payment side of their care. If you do want to help out financially, decide in advance what you are willing and able to offer. That way, you do not have to get into the weeds of their finances. You can simply offer what you have allocated and leave it at that.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I tend to miss out on messages that people send me on Facebook because I rarely log in. A few months ago, a former friend sent me a heartfelt message expressing how much she missed our friendship and how sorry she was for our estrangement. Unfortunately, I missed the message. She messaged me again more recently, and this time she sounded hurt and disappointed that I had ignored her first attempt at reaching out. I felt terrible, as it really was a big misunderstanding. I did find the second message a bit pushy, though, and it reminded me of why I chose to end my friendship with this person in the first place. Should I try to explain why I missed her first message, or is it better to just ignore her? -- Misunderstanding

DEAR MISUNDERSTANDING: What do you want? If you would rather not strike up a friendship with this woman again, you can ignore her social media entreaties. Chances are, she will not send you a third message if you do not respond to either of the previously sent notes. If you see her and she brings it up, you can apologize and say you don’t often read direct messages. Don’t lie, though. If she presses you in person or again on social media, respond to her. Tell her you are sorry that you missed her first message. You did not mean to ignore her, but you do not have space in your life to welcome her into your friend group. Be honest. If you don’t want to be friends again, don’t give her any sense that you do. It may hurt her feelings in the short term, but being specific will make it easier for both of you to move on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am currently in a relationship with a photographer, and although it has been only a few months, I am finding myself feeling increasingly uncomfortable with some of his work. Specifically, I have noticed that he frequently photographs other women in sexually suggestive poses or outfits. While I understand that this is a part of his profession and creative vision, I can't help but feel a sense of jealousy and insecurity about it.

I have tried talking to him about it, but he brushes it off and insists that it's just art and has nothing to do with our relationship. I don't want to be controlling or possessive, but I also don't want to ignore my own feelings and discomfort. Am I wrong for being uncomfortable with this part of his profession? -- Uneasy

DEAR UNEASY: This is tricky, as it is his art and his profession, but you should not discount your instincts. You have to face reality. Your guy likes to take pictures like this. He enjoys it. It is his thing. You cannot and should not try to get him to change. You either have to accept this about him as you enjoy your relationship with him, or decide that it is more than you can bear. It is on you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a nephew who is getting married, and he is so happy. He came to me recently to ask for wisdom about marriage, and I fumbled and eventually told him I would think about it and get back to him. I have been married for a long time -- more than 20 years -- but if I am honest, I cannot say that it is a happy marriage. Sure, we have good times, but we argue a lot and pretty fiercely. I didn’t want to talk about that stuff, but I really am at a loss for words. I think the main reason we are still together is that we never left each other. We fight, then we keep moving. So far, nothing has been so bad that either of us has walked away. That doesn’t sound romantic at all. What do I say to someone who is about to start a life with his wife? -- The Secret

DEAR THE SECRET: Tell your nephew your truth. Admit that it isn’t always easy to be married because you and your spouse argue a lot. Share that you don’t always agree on things, which can ignite an argument. But, in the end, you two seem to accept each other for who you are. That has been your secret to staying together. You might add anything that you wish for him in his marriage that includes what you wish for yourself -- for example, more listening and less arguing.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was hanging out with friends, and they got to complaining about a mutual acquaintance of ours. During the rant, my friend got really mad because she described this woman as a hoarder. She went on and on about how bad her workspace is organized. It sounded terrible, but it also sounded like me. I bet I would be classified as a hoarder if I ever let anybody see my place. My friend, who is usually so nice, was ripping this woman apart about the way she keeps her space. I took a mental note never to invite her to my place. But I also feel like my anger is misplaced. I know I need help, but I have no idea where to start. -- Hoarder

DEAR HOARDER: You have taken the first step by acknowledging that you have a problem and that you need help. Believe it or not, hoarding is considered a mental health condition that needs professional treatment. Yes, it is hard to tackle and likely you need trained support to treat it.

Still, there are some things you can attempt yourself. According to the Mayo Clinic, you can learn to identify and challenge thoughts and beliefs related to getting and saving items; learn to resist the urge to get more items; learn to organize and group things to help you decide which ones to get rid of, including which items can be donated. Additionally, it is important to improve your decision-making and coping skills. One suggestion is to remove clutter in your home during in-home visits by a therapist or professional organizer. Something else you might find helpful is learning to reduce isolation and increase opportunities to join in meaningful social activities.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)