DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a dream the other day that my assistant was about to resign. For the next few days, every time I talked to her, I halfway held my breath knowing that the next thing she was going to say to me was goodbye. And yet it wasn’t. She did ask to speak to me about several sensitive matters. They all turned out to be various business dealings that we were handling -- until she wanted to talk about something else.

A week after having that premonition, my assistant told me she had “bittersweet news.” I knew what was next. She had, in fact, found a new job. She handled sharing the news with me well, and, of course, I wasn’t surprised. It’s so weird. I really did know before she said a word. People have called me clairvoyant. I don’t know about that. I do know that my assistant and I are in alignment, and I knew what was going to happen. Because we work so well together, I’m wondering if I should try to get her to stay. What do I do with this uncanny awareness that I have? -- Clairvoyant

DEAR CLAIRVOYANT: It probably took a lot for your assistant to share her news. Don’t try to keep her from her next opportunity. Instead, thank her for her time with you. You can tell her you had a sense that this was coming. Ask her to help you find an adequate replacement. Plan together for what needs to happen before she leaves.

As far as your sixth sense, use it to help guide your steps, not to stop others from living their lives.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I took the train home the other day. At one of the stops on this three-hour journey, a young man sat next to me in his assigned seat. We were seated at a table for four, and the other seats were occupied. As he sat down, all I could smell was weed. I was so disappointed to see this young Black man who appeared to be an upstanding individual contaminating the whole area with the smell of marijuana smoke. It doesn’t matter whether it’s legal -- it is unprofessional to reek of weed when you board a business train to sit among other people.

As a Black professional woman, I wanted to pull his coattails, but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of the white people who were sitting across from him. He pulled out a laptop and actively worked on it during the trip. He had good manners. His only issue was the smell that infiltrated our area for the whole ride. I thought I might say something if he deboarded when I did, but the moment didn’t happen. Do you think it would have been OK to say something if I had found the moment? -- Cloud of Smoke

DEAR CLOUD OF SMOKE: Yes! This is especially true, given the fact that this young man seemed to be on a professional track otherwise. He may not know how much the smell had stuck to his clothes when he smoked. There’s a good chance he had no idea that he had contaminated the area with this scent. Pulling his coattails to let him know that it’s not wise to smoke weed right before entering an enclosed space could be helpful information for him. The key would be to say it without judgment, just as a fact.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got passed over for a promotion at my job, and I am wrecked. I have been working so hard to complete my work and to take on more projects. I always have a good attitude and work well with people, though I will admit that I am an introvert. I do not hang out with my co-workers at the end of the day. I do not drink. I stick to myself and go home when the work is done. I feel like I may have been penalized for not being social with the team. I want to talk to my boss about it and see what I can do to prepare for a promotion. I don’t want to complain, but I do want to set myself up for success. How should I bring this up? -- Overlooked

DEAR OVERLOOKED: Schedule a meeting with your boss, and have a list of things that you have accomplished that have benefited your company so that you can share them. Start by saying how much you enjoy working at this company, what you have learned and that you believe you have been doing a good job. Point out a few of the highlights of your accomplishments this year as examples of your hard work. Then tell your boss you were disappointed when you did not receive a promotion. Ask what you can do to position yourself better for a promotion in the future. Listen to what your boss has to say. You can also ask if being an introvert is working to your disadvantage. Explain that you like your co-workers, but you mostly prefer to keep to yourself. Is that working against you?

Whatever your boss says, know that it is important to build relationships with people at your job. Work is more than doing the tasks at hand. You need to build alliances with others. You need people to have your back and to stand up for you. Make that your next priority.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been cleaning out my closet and have collected an entire wardrobe of barely worn clothes to give away. There is a woman at my job who is about the size of this collection of clothes (smaller than I am today), and I know she could use them. She has a very limited wardrobe. How do I go about offering them to her without making her uncomfortable? -- Making an Offering

DEAR MAKING AN OFFERING: Speak to this woman in private and tell her what you have been doing. You had been holding onto clothes that you thought were special, but you realize now it makes no sense to keep things that don’t fit. Rather than giving them to charity, you want to give them to someone you know who might appreciate them. Tell her you thought of her. You believe they are her size and potentially her style. Ask her if she would like to see them. If so, arrange for a time to share them with her outside of the office. Be sure to tell her that they are a gift. If she cannot use them, she can feel free to give them away, or you can donate them. Also, be clear that the gift is between you. She can share that you gave them to her if she likes, but it is for her to share -- not you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently discovered that a former colleague of mine has expressed interest in dating my adult daughter. This colleague has known my daughter since she was a young child, so I feel extremely uncomfortable about this situation -- and a little angry. My daughter is in her late 20s now, so the decision is ultimately up to her, but even if they were to hit it off, I know I’d never be OK with it. He is quite a bit older than she is, and it just rubs me the wrong way. Am I wrong for feeling this way? -- Stay Away

DEAR STAY AWAY: Step back a moment and think about your colleague. What redeeming qualities does this man have as a person? What do you know about his relationship history? Has he ever done anything untoward regarding your daughter? Did he come to you first to express interest in her before asking her out? Assess as much as you can about him and his character. It is understandably unnerving for this to be happening, but you are not in control of this. If this man seems to be an honorable person, stand back and see how things unfold. You can tell him of your reservations and warn him not to hurt your daughter.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been a board member of my church for a long time, and it's a big part of my life. I am in a relatively new relationship with someone who is not interested in discussing church or religion and refuses to attend church-related events. This makes it hard for me to balance my personal life and my involvement in the church. I want to respect my partner's beliefs, and I am worried that trying to convince them to come to events with me will ultimately push them away. At the same time, it’s important to me that they at least try to come to an event with me every once in a while. What should I do? -- Trying To Compromise

DEAR TRYING TO COMPROMISE: I understand why you want to make space for this person, but it doesn’t sound like they are reciprocating. If your church life is that important to you, how are you going to make this work? While you may be able to live with them not being an active part of your church life, it seems unreasonable for them to be completely uninvolved. Yes, there are couples of different faiths or who have other significant differences who make it work, but is that what you want? Step back and look at the big picture of your life. What do you want? How do you envision your partner fitting into your life and you into theirs? What compromises are you willing to make to be in a relationship with someone? Answer those questions carefully and honestly. If you think you can do it, continue on. If not, let them know how you feel. Perhaps setting your boundaries will help them to decide how flexible they are willing to be.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)