DEAR HARRIETTE: As you probably know and have seen on TV, there is a lot of pressure for college students to go out every weekend, and sometimes even during the week. I used to go out a lot last year, and I met so many people by frequenting the same bar. This year, though, I really do not find it that enjoyable, especially since I have no access to clubs. Not going out is a choice to make against peer pressure, but after ducking plans a lot, it starts to feel like I am missing out.

With Halloween coming up, I know I will be going out. Yet I still feel a bit sad about the friends I have not connected with in a while because I stay at home or just go to a friend’s house. Do you think I should go out maybe once every two weeks, or should I try to find a way to include those bar friends in my life in other ways? -- FOMO

DEAR FOMO: If the routine of every two weeks gives you a push to go out, try it for a month or two. Look to see what’s going on in your community, and select new activities so that you broaden your horizons. Pay attention at school to see if there are any people outside of your immediate friend group who are interesting, and check in to see what they are up to in the coming days. Expanding your friend group is another way to get you motivated. Regarding the friends you haven’t seen much, reach out to them one by one and plan a get-together. You could meet up on campus or choose some other spot where you can have fun and hear each other talk.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met a guy last year who was in my extended group of friends. We always got along, and I could tell that he liked me, but he had a bit of a reputation. I went on a couple of dates with him last year before we went back home for summer. We had a lot of fun, but I could not take it seriously. Last week he asked me to go on another date, and I said yes. I had not seen him since the end of April, and I knew that I would have a good time. I would continue to go on dates with him because we get along very well, but due to his track record of getting around too much for my liking, I am not sure that I could ever take it seriously. Do you think I am leading him on by continuing to go out with him, or do you think it would be better if we make it clear that we are friends? -- Setting Boundaries

DEAR SETTING BOUNDARIES: Be brave and bring up the subject directly with him. He obviously likes you -- and you seem to like him, too. Tell him that you are somewhat apprehensive because of his reputation. Explain what is important to you in a relationship. If loyalty is high on the list, say so. If being in a committed relationship is important before there is any chance of any kind of intimacy, tell him that. Express your concern that if you two keep going out, things could naturally progress, but you don’t want to get closer if he is going to be messing around with other women. See what he says, and trust your instincts.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend recently started talking to this guy, and it seems to be going really well. However, he lives and goes to school in a different city from my friend. It is hard for them to make time for each other with busy schedules and long distances, but they are determined to make it work. My friend has been in only one relationship before, close in distance and for a long period of time. I think that they’re having doubts about starting up something so different from what they are used to. I think that they are a really good fit, and I would like to see it last for my friend’s sake, but I do not want to get too involved. How do you think I should reassure them or talk to them about this new relationship? Should I talk about it at all? -- Far BF

DEAR FAR BF: If your friend asks you for your opinion, that's when you share whatever is in your heart. The reality is that the two of them have to figure out for themselves whether this relationship will work. Plenty of people have managed long-distance love well, but it is not easy. Thanks to technology, they can see each other and talk more intimately than before we had video chat capabilities, but that is obviously not the same as being in each other’s physical company. Be there for your friend as needed. Keep your opinions to yourself until they are requested.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, I have been extremely stressed out, and I do not know what is causing it. However, I do know that accelerated schoolwork and a busy schedule tend to make me feel more anxious than I already do. I am trying to find simple grounding techniques to help calm me down when I feel really on edge. I tried counting and deep breathing, but they do not always help me. I have read that you practice meditation, so I was wondering if you had any advice on how I could dissipate my stress. Are there any simple routines that help you when you feel overwhelmed? Are any of them silent? I don’t want to draw attention. -- Stress

DEAR STRESS: It’s good that you have a sense of what stress feels like in your body. Keep paying attention to that, and do your best to notice when it first shows up. If you can pinpoint what triggered it, you may be able to adjust your behavior early on to dissipate it somewhat.

Meditation is an excellent way of calming your entire being. So is simple deep breathing. You can silently sit for a couple of minutes and take three deep, cleansing breaths. As you breathe in, invite goodness and love into your being. As you breathe out, exhale any negative thoughts or feelings that are within you. You can do this sitting in a chair, walking down the street or even ducking into a restroom stall for a couple of minutes.

Consider taking a walk or doing some form of exercise to help release the tension and negativity that you are feeling. Drink lots of water and avoid sweet drinks or alcohol. Surround yourself with people who love you and who are tender with you during this time. Get professional help if none of this making you feel better.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been reflecting on my friendships and how they seem to have changed over the past few years. At 27, I find myself in a place where the connections that once meant the world to me don't hold the same significance they did five years ago. Back then, I looked forward to going out with my friends every weekend. It was an exciting time filled with adventures and shared experiences.

Lately, I've noticed a shift in my interests and priorities. These days, I often find myself wanting to engage in activities alone, like going for hikes or going to cafes. I want to emphasize that my friends haven't done anything wrong; it's just that I’m on a personal journey of self-discovery and growth. The things that once brought me joy and fulfillment now seem less appealing. I've started to value different experiences and perspectives.

One of my concerns is the fear of potentially cutting off my friends and ending up feeling isolated. It's a daunting thought because these friendships have been an important part of my life. I don't want to regret my decisions later on. How should I move forward regarding my friendships? It feels impossible to make new ones at 27. -- In Transition

DEAR IN TRANSITION: You are acknowledging your personal evolution, which is important. As your interests change, it is only natural that your relationships will need to adjust. You may not need to dump your friend group, but naturally some friends may fall away. Because you are not showing up as much, some may get upset or less interested. Why not allow things to fall into place with ease? Of course, you can tell your friends that you haven’t been around much because you are doing some soul-searching. Don’t add anything that isn’t true, like that you wish they could come with you (because they might try) or that you have no more room for them (because you don’t know yet). Just say that you are busy, which is true.

Keep your eyes open. Notice new people who do interest you. Relax. When the right people show up, you will notice them, and new friendships may begin.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A woman I’ve been interested in for quite some time recently moved to my city. Unfortunately, I’ll be moving away in just a few weeks. The other day, I invited her to join me and my best friend for drinks. I thought it would be nice to introduce the two of them since she’s new in town and needs to meet people. Shortly after the dinner, my best friend asked me if I would mind if he asked her on a date. I didn’t know how to answer. I’ve expressed interest in this woman to my best friend before, but nothing has ever happened between us, so I guess she’s not necessarily off-limits. What should I do? -- Uncertain

DEAR UNCERTAIN: This was a bit premature of your best friend. Given that he knows you like her, he should stand down -- at least until you leave. Remind him that you like this woman. Then, if you truly want to see if there’s any spark between you, make a move. Otherwise, you will regret it forever. If there’s nothing worth cultivating, give your friend the green light.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)