DEAR HARRIETTE: My birthday just passed, and I am throwing a birthday party at my friend’s house. I used to invite everyone in my grade to my parties when I was younger, but my classes were also very small then. Now that I am in college, I cannot invite everybody. There are a few people my friends are close to who I have some problems with, but I do not want it to be awkward or cause issues because they are not invited. I still have a lot of people I want to come and have told about the party, but I don’t want to pack my friends’ house out of respect for them. How should I manage my party, particularly the guest list? Should I tell people to show up at different times to control the influx of people? -- Birthday Party

DEAR BIRTHDAY PARTY: Talk to the friends whose home you are using to host the party. Tell them that you are concerned about keeping the number of guests in check and overall management of the guest list. Ask for a guest limit to help you make your choices. Since it is your party, chances are they will allow you to invite who you want. For sensitivity’s sake, if you can stomach a couple of their besties, you should.

You know how your friends party. If you invite them to stop by, will some come and go, or will they stay whenever they get there? Go with your gut on party flow. Honor the number of guests that you and your host agree on, and trim the list from there. Not everybody gets to attend every event.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who drinks a bit too much. He does not get drunk every day, but he does have wine or beer frequently and does not eat as much as he should. I do not want to get into his business too much because he is going through something right now, but his coping mechanisms are not the healthiest. He said that he was seeking therapy, but he has not brought up drinking as one of his concerns. It is not to the point of staging an intervention, and we are in college, so drinking culture is very normalized, but I am worried about him. How do I bring up his alcohol consumption without coming off as insensitive or confrontational? I do not want him to think that I am intervening in his life, but I want to look out for him. -- Drinking Problem

DEAR DRINKING PROBLEM: Talk to your friend and bring up the uncomfortable subject. Tell him you have noticed that his drinking has increased and you are concerned. Can you buddy up with him and agree NOT to drink for the next few days or weeks? Offer to be his sober accountability partner so he can make the effort to curb his behavior. If he refuses or can’t do it, recommend that he put drinking on his topics list with his therapist.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went home for a holiday break to visit my parents. I don’t really enjoy my time at home much because my mom is very controlling. She doesn’t let my sister or me drive her car to explore our hometown and what it has to offer since she is scared we will crash it. My dad is gone all the time, so we can’t use his car either. As a result, we are stuck in the house all break with nothing to do.

It's difficult because my friends are always out of town for breaks, so I can't even have them pick me up. I feel trapped every holiday. How can my sister and I approach our mom about letting us use her car or find ways to be more independent during our breaks? I want to have a more fulfilling time with my family and also be able to spend time outside of my house so I don’t feel so restricted. -- Stuck

DEAR STUCK: It is time for you to get creative and become more independent. How do people in your town get around if they are unable to drive? Is there any public transportation? While you may not currently use it, now may be the time to learn the bus system and routes. Do you have a job at school or can you get a part-time seasonal job at home? This way, you can earn money that will allow you to get a taxi or car service to take you where you want to go. With money saved, you (and your sister) could also consider traveling instead of coming home every holiday. Have any of your friends invited you to visit them during the holidays? Take them up on it, and have a new adventure. This doesn’t mean that you don’t love your mother. Instead, it says that you are taking control of your life. Rather than whining at home, you are taking action.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel torn between two cities. One is my hometown, which is a bustling city full of excitement, while the other is a quaint suburban town. I like the feelings that they each bring. I have my family in my hometown and there’s never a dull moment while I am there. In the suburbs, I’m surrounded by friends who embrace me and are always introducing me to new activities and places to go. I work remotely, so my job does not tie me to either city. I want to buy a home in the next year or so, but I am torn on where to settle. -- Settling Down

DEAR SETTLING DOWN: Let your home search guide your steps. Start working with a realtor in each area. Set parameters for budget, size, style, neighborhood and any other factors that matter to you. Take copious notes about the homes you find, and compare them. It is likely that the suburban homes will be larger and more affordable while the neighborhoods will probably be quieter and less active. Get a feel for where you would like to spend more of your time -- in the midst of the action or in a quiet, peaceful space. Since you work from home, factor in your comfort level for getting your work done in each space as well.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I find myself in a difficult situation. I am currently enrolled in medical school, and although it has been a dream of mine for a long time, I'm beginning to feel overwhelmed and unsure if this is the right path for me. The intense workload and pressure are taking a toll on my mental and physical well-being. I'm considering the possibility of quitting, but I'm torn between pursuing my passion for medicine and acknowledging the toll it's taking on my overall health. How can I make my decision without feeling like I'm letting myself down or abandoning a dream I've worked so hard for? I want to make a thoughtful and informed choice about my future, but the fear of disappointment and societal expectations are making this decision even more challenging. -- About To Give Up

DEAR ABOUT TO GIVE UP: Seek out perspective on your situation from others who have had the experience. Find a TA, hospital resident, student about to finish med school or a trusted professor to talk to about your experience. Ask for advice on how they managed through the tough times. As hard as it seems to be, what you are describing sounds pretty common.

If you can figure out a way to take care of yourself through med school and your residency, it can be worth it. Request strategies that others have used to work through the challenging periods. Do your best to eat healthy food, exercise and carve out as much time for rest as you can. Try not to give up yet.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am about to register for classes for next semester. I began my search for ones that interested me a week ago and saved multiple schedules that worked for me. However, I checked again today, and most of the classes are at full capacity. I intentionally saved classes with many available seats, but since my registration date is so late, I did not get most of them. Now I am stuck between filling the blanks in my schedule with classes I have to take for my major that either do not interest me or are super early or late, and classes that I know I would enjoy and would contribute to my education as electives. I am a sophomore, so I have time to take all the classes I need, but I feel like I will lose my motivation to go to class when it is so cold outside and the subject matter bores me. What do you suggest I choose? -- Class

DEAR CLASS: Split the difference if you can, and sign up for at least one elective that interests you and one required class at a manageable hour that you will commit to attending. If you must choose a class that is extremely inconvenient, go for the time of day when you are most likely to be motivated to get yourself there. Also, you may need to question why the classes in your major do not interest you.

Reality check: Life will be like this a lot. No matter how hard we work, we often do not get exactly what we want when we want it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)