DEAR HARRIETTE: This year, I made a conscious decision to prioritize my professional life, and it has seen significant growth. However, this focus has come at the expense of my personal life. I'm finding it challenging to balance both aspects, as the majority of my time and energy goes into work-related commitments. How can I maintain a healthy equilibrium without losing momentum in my career or neglecting my personal relationships? -- Seeking Balance

DEAR SEEKING BALANCE: Being able to build a career and nurture a healthy personal life is not easy, even as it is extremely important. What is required is strategy. Step back and survey your life. List what you have done to get to where you are today. In this one year, what strides have you made, and what did you do to get there? Make another list of what you may have missed or wished you had made time to do. One more list should be of what you want to do differently or more of in 2024.

Examine your lists closely. Now create a 2024 plan with key goals for each quarter. Delineate those goals based on professional, personal and well-being objectives. What do you need to do for work that will continue to grow your career? For your personal life, who do you want to spend more or less time with, etc.? For well-being, what do you need to do to be healthy physically, mentally and spiritually? Brainstorm all the things that you can dream of for each of those buckets. Write them all down. Be bold with your ideas. Then sort them all.

On a large calendar, map out key themes for each quarter, month, week -- and day, in some cases. Put priorities in each category in each month. When you put your stake in the game and say out loud to yourself that you will exercise, you will call your friends, you will eat healthier, etc., chances are you will do it at least some of the time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm feeling overwhelmed by the constant exposure to distressing and traumatic stories on social media. While I'm actively trying to grow my personal brand and presence there, this overload is affecting my mental health and well-being. How can I strike a balance between limiting exposure to such content and continuing to grow my following without compromising my mental health? -- Need Blinders

DEAR NEED BLINDERS: Be careful what you look at. I say this because if you are constantly seeing traumatic stories on social media, it is because that is what you look at the most. The algorithms used to highlight content are based on user activity. You must stop lingering over disturbing content. Stop reacting to it in any way, and move on. Choose to look at positive content. Retrain your brain to pay attention to uplifting ideas. Also, limit your time on social media. Use parental controls to cut yourself off after whatever period of time you feel is healthy. This may take time, but you can curate your experience.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently found myself in a bit of a predicament that I hope you can help me navigate. I was assigned to a group project at school, and as the deadline loomed closer, it became apparent that not everyone in the group was contributing equally. In fact, I ended up taking on the majority of the workload. While I understand that group dynamics can be challenging, I'm concerned about how this might impact my overall workload at school, my stress levels and, ultimately, the success of the project.

I want to address this issue constructively without creating tension within the team. How can I communicate my concerns to my teammates and ensure a more equitable distribution of responsibilities in the future? -- Off Balance

DEAR OFF BALANCE: Welcome to the world of group dynamics. I had the same thing happen when I was in college. My best friend was in a group with me and didn’t do her part at all. I had to do hers and mine and step in with other group members. I was mad, but I did it. And guess what? That wasn’t the last time that I had to pull others’ weight in a group situation. Is it fair? No. Is it real? Yes.

Know that you will find yourself in this situation again. You should work to build rapport with your team members and cheerlead to the best of your ability to keep folks inspired to get the work done. Consider it a political challenge, and try to ignite passion in your team to work hard to get the job done. If you can inspire friendly competition, that may help, but be prepared to jump in and get stuff done if somebody drops the ball.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend frequently seeks fashion advice from me, but our styles are polar opposites. While I appreciate her Plain Jane fashion sense, it's drastically different from my own. I worry that my feedback might not be helpful as my taste tends to be bolder and more eclectic. I don't want to hurt her feelings, so I often opt for a neutral response, saying her outfits look “fine,” though they're not something I'd personally wear. Should I encourage her to explore a more daring style, or am I doing her a disservice by not being more candid? I respect fashion as a personal expression, but I'm unsure what to say without hurting her feelings. -- No Fashion Sense

DEAR NO FASHION SENSE: The fact that your friend is asking you for fashion advice means she must be looking for input. She also seems to respect your opinion, perhaps because you have a clear fashion sense. Respond to her by saying you think it’s great that she is exploring new fashion ideas, but you don't know if you are the right person to guide her. Your style is completely different from hers; therefore, your suggestions will reflect your taste, not hers. Admit that you are not certain about how to give fashion advice to someone whose style differs so much from yours. She may want to go to a department store where there are free stylists who help clients pick out clothes. You should not volunteer to fulfill a role that will not likely work.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've received an invitation to stay at a friend's house over the holidays, but I feel uncomfortable about the living conditions. Their place tends to be messy, and I'm unsure how to handle this situation without offending them. I value our friendship, but I'm hesitant about staying in an environment that makes me uneasy. How can I navigate this situation tactfully while expressing my concerns? -- Uninhabitable

DEAR UNINHABITABLE: “No” is a complete sentence. Remember that. You have no obligation to stay at anyone’s home if you don’t want to, and you don’t have to explain why. You can simply thank them for the invitation and decline. If you decide to visit your friend’s town and stay with someone else, that’s fine, too. Or you may choose to stay in a hotel. As an adult, you have the right to park your body wherever you choose without feeling guilty.

I know people who never stay at friends’ homes because they want autonomy. Their response is that they always stay in a hotel, but they visit often. You don’t have to explain yourself. Just be responsible for putting yourself somewhere that's comfortable for you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work for a nonprofit organization that fights against hunger. I'm deeply passionate about my job, and I truly believe in the mission we're working toward. I am also very good at what I do, which is fundraising for the company. However, my boss has been making it increasingly difficult for me to balance my dedication to the cause with taking necessary time off. I've noticed that my boss is hard on me and often tries to make me feel guilty whenever I request time off, even if it's for legitimate reasons.

The nature of our work can be demanding, but I believe in the importance of maintaining a healthy work-life balance. How can I communicate my need for time off without feeling guilty, and how can I address this dynamic with my boss without jeopardizing my position or commitment to the organization? -- Need Time Off

DEAR NEED TIME OFF: Sit down with your boss to talk about the job and your commitment to the work. Be prepared to point out what you have accomplished this year, with specific examples of your contributions. Next, point out that you need regular recharging in order to bring your A-game to this important work. Ask him to help you to continue to do a great job by respecting your need for earned time off. Invite him to be supportive the next time you make that request.

If he balks and tells you that is not how he was trained to do the work or he says he is grooming you to become the leader of the organization or anything else that would suggest that you should not ask for time off, thank him for his approach and his recognition of your value. Add that the best support he can give is by approving what you need the most -- the ability to have a personal life and a professional life. Tell him you need this in order to go the distance with enthusiasm and commitment.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)