Sense & Sensitivity

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've recently taken up beading as a hobby, creating waist beads and bracelets. Lately, my work has gained attention, and people are asking about purchasing my jewelry. I've been taking credit for my creations and even making custom pieces for others. While I want to keep this as a fun hobby without stress, I'm torn between making extra money by selling my jewelry or keeping it solely for personal enjoyment. What should I consider in deciding whether to turn my hobby into a side income? -- Making My Own Way

DEAR MAKING MY OWN WAY: Many people start businesses as an evolution of a hobby. Since you love jewelry making and beading so much, why not do a pilot to see if you also enjoy creating inventory, developing a sales strategy, hiring support and anything else that may be needed to turn your hobby into a business. Give yourself a time frame to test to see if you are up for the investment of time, money, creativity and energy that it takes to launch a business. If it seems like you are, go for it. Keep careful records to help you determine if the business is worth it and can be profitable. At the end of the timeline, review your progress and decide if your return on investment is worth it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m someone who’s always on the go. When things are busy, I hop from event to event. I usually have the energy to attend multiple events in a night or a weekend. That’s how I roll. My problem is, I can’t do any of that right now. I injured my leg and had to have surgery. The recovery time is long: at least six weeks. I can’t stand it. Sitting still and resting is excruciatingly difficult to do. I stare at the clock, take naps, call friends -- and I find myself falling into a puddle of sadness. I can’t speed up the healing process. I was warned that if I don't allow myself to heal properly, I could have tremendously negative repercussions. How can I psych myself into living through this period with a better state of mind? -- On the Mend

DEAR ON THE MEND: First, you have to accept that you are not in control of what happened in the past. You are in charge of how you deal with the present. Rather than bemoaning your state, make a plan. What can you do and what is off limits? Be clear about these things so that you can post reminders to yourself regarding activities and timelines.

Next, figure out something productive that you can do during this period of immobility. Can you take up a craft? Write that book you’ve always dreamed about? Clean out your inbox? Prepare your taxes? Yes, seriously. Anything you usually put off that you have time to do because you are confined to being still can go to the top of your list. Write it down. Make an exhaustive list of possibilities and check each one off as you complete the task. Tiny victories should help to raise your spirits!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm caught in a dilemma between two friends having a financial disagreement. I've decided to stay neutral since it's not my money. However, both friends have invited me to events scheduled at the same time. I'd like to attend one of them, but I'm concerned about social media. Attending one might inadvertently convey favoritism. Any advice on how to handle this without causing any misunderstandings? -- Caught in the Middle

DEAR CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE: Is there any chance you can stop by both events? If that is possible, you will save yourself a lot of heartache as that will prove, through social media, that you spread the love to all. If that is not possible, make your choice of where you plan to go and inform both of them. Yes, one will be upset, but it’s far better to preempt any argument or misunderstanding by informing your friends of your plans. You can remind them that you love them both and remain unwilling to get in the middle of their drama. At the same time, you have chosen to attend one of the events in question and just wanted to let everybody know.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've taken a break from college for the past year due to lots of things, including how weird everything was during the pandemic. My family and friends are asking about my plans to return since it has been some time now. I'm uncertain about my decision. College is a significant investment of time and money, and I'm questioning if the potential rewards justify it. I'm currently in a career that offers a comfortable salary and growth opportunities. Considering this, I'm leaning toward continuing with my career rather than returning to college. Any advice on making the decision between further education and career growth? -- Next Steps

DEAR NEXT STEPS: The way I grew up, it used to be a requirement among my peers that you had to at least get a bachelor’s degree if not also at least one graduate degree. Do note that times have changed. While a college education can be beneficial in innumerable ways -- and I am still a proponent -- there is no doubt that people have built successful, lucrative and sustainable careers without that paper in hand, at least at first. You have to do a critical assessment of your field of interest. What does it take to reach the top? What requirements exist as benchmarks for success -- or even to get to an open door? Do your research carefully and thoroughly to determine what the potential is for income and growth both with and without a degree. Also, find out if your company ever pays for continuing education. Some businesses have built-in programs for earning degrees. It may just be for master’s degrees, but find out. Rather than succumb to peer or family pressure, learn the pros and cons of higher education in your specific field, then make a decision.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a small business that has experienced many ups and downs over the years. We did well during the pandemic. Now that we are a couple of years out of quarantine, things are tight again. My contracts are dwindling, and I am finding it difficult to drum up new business. I don’t want to become despondent, but it is hard. Just when I thought things were going well, the economy fell out and I am scraping to keep my staff and everything going. I have cut back in every way that I can. How can I keep a positive mental outlook when the horizon is looking pretty bleak? -- Life of an Entrepreneur

DEAR LIFE OF AN ENTREPRENEUR: Review the history of your business. What has worked over the years? Since you have been able to stay alive through lean times in the past, now you need to consider how you did that. Are there any practices you put in place before that you can adopt again? While you are already cutting the fat, what else can go? Can you automate any parts of your business? While AI is still somewhat controversial, many companies are utilizing it to cut down on costs. Do your research to figure that out.

It may also be time to think about recasting your net. What does your business do? Should it shift at all during today’s times? If so, how? In order to stay viable, you have to stay current. If you focus your attention on solving all of the problems mentioned above, you won’t have time to worry. Wake up every day with the intention of surviving and thriving. Look for opportunities that will help you get there. This should keep you upbeat.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A couple in my close friend group is getting a divorce, and it is very sad. I have noticed that my wife, “Betty,” is becoming increasingly more negative toward our relationship, and I think it’s because she is trying to be there for the wife who has been dumped, “Rebecca.” I’m friends with both Rebecca and her husband, and I have tried to stay out of it. I don’t want to walk away from Rebecca, but I need her to stop feeding negativity to my wife. We were doing fine until Betty started believing that the things that were happening to Rebecca were also happening to her. What can I do to fix this? -- Stop the Bleed

DEAR STOP THE BLEED: Since you are also friends Rebecca, speak directly to her. Tell her how sorry you are for what’s happening to her and that you want to support her in any way you can. But make it clear that you need her to stop giving Betty blow-by-blow details of her marriage woes. Explain that Betty suddenly believes you are doing the same things to her, which is not true.

To preserve your friendship with Rebecca and your marriage to Betty, ask Rebecca to stop venting to your wife. While this may feel like a huge ask, the alternative is cutting her off completely. When things settle down, you may be able to resume being confidants, but not now.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)