DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years. He recently proposed to me, and his parents personally contacted me for a get-together. My boyfriend was not included, as they claimed they only wanted to get to know me. I work as a bartender, which is what they know about me. However, besides that, I have investments and properties, and I actually earn more than their son. Bartending is just something I enjoy because of the lively community.
In the middle of our dinner, my boyfriend’s mother said that I needed to sign a prenuptial agreement because I am just a bartender, and it would solve financial problems in the future between me and my husband. Feeling humiliated, I told them about my businesses and highlighted that I earn more than their son and have no problem with a prenuptial agreement. They have since apologized and requested that I don't tell my fiance. I am still contemplating whether to tell him. -- Prenuptial Agreement
DEAR PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT: I don’t think it’s healthy to start a marriage with secrets, especially one that has to do with your future in-laws. You should tell your fiance, but you can frame it from the perspective that they were trying to protect him. Tell him what happened, and allow that to be a segue into a conversation about money and the future. Being clear about money and how you earn, manage, save and invest it is important for your alignment as a couple. So, tell him, open up the discussion and make it a valuable conversation for the two of you.