DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m dealing with a health issue that requires significant dietary changes, and I’m struggling to make it work with my family’s eating habits. I’ve had to cut out gluten and dairy, but my family continues to enjoy dishes that include these ingredients. They often have pasta night with creamy sauces, which has been really tough for me, both physically and emotionally. I have felt left out as I sit there with my separate meal, and it seems like the divide between what I need to eat and what everyone else enjoys is growing wider. I’ve tried to make my meals fit in with the family’s routine, but it’s challenging when everyone’s tastes and habits are so different from mine. I don’t want to act “special” and make my dietary needs a source of tension at home. How can I talk to my family about incorporating my dietary needs into our meals without making it feel like a burden or causing resentment? -- Dietary Challenges

DEAR DIETARY CHALLENGES: This feels especially difficult for you because it is so new. Many people have to change their diets and adjust their meals accordingly. There will probably continue to be many nights when you must eat a different meal from your family. That’s OK. What you can do to get them to consider some of your meals is to get creative and prepare dishes that look and taste delicious, even though they do not have the ingredients that your family is accustomed to. Look up recipes and introduce new ideas to the table. Over time, they may come to like some of your choices.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend and I have been excitedly planning a vacation together for months, just the two of us. We’ve talked about our plans, chosen destinations and envisioned how we’d spend our time catching up and enjoying each other’s company. Lately, though, she’s been hinting about bringing along her new partner, whom I’ve never met.

I have to admit, I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable about the idea. I was really looking forward to this trip. From the stories she’s shared, it seems like her boyfriend might be controlling. I’m worried that if he comes along, it could change the vibe of our vacation, but I’m also nervous that she won’t come if he’s not included. I don’t want to seem unsupportive of their relationship, but I’m also concerned about how this could impact the trip we’ve both been so excited about. How do I remind her of our original plans? -- Vacation Trouble

DEAR VACATION TROUBLE: Talk to your best friend directly about your original plans for a BFF vacation. Acknowledge that it is wonderful that she has a partner now, but this trip is supposed to be for the two of you. Ask her to honor your commitment to each other for this trip. Who knows? You may never get another chance to do this together. Whether or not the boyfriend is controlling, the trip will be completely different if there are three of you -- especially since this is a new love interest. Say no to the third wheel, even if it means the trip gets canceled. You are bound to be miserable if you go through with it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been feeling concerned about my teenage daughter lately. She’s started spending time with a new group of friends who are really into extreme sports like skateboarding and parkour. This is a big shift from the activities we’ve always encouraged, such as volunteering and participating in community events. Last night she mentioned planning a parkour session at an old factory, and it made me uneasy. I’m worried about the risks involved and how this new interest might pull her away from the values we’ve worked hard to instill. I know that today’s generation seems to have different sensitivities compared to ours, and I’m reluctant to simply forbid her from pursuing her interests. I want to discuss my concerns with her, but I’m not sure how to approach the conversation without pushing her away. How can I express my worries while remaining supportive and keeping our lines of communication open? -- Concerned Parent

DEAR CONCERNED PARENT: Rather than forbidding her from these activities, learn about them alongside her. Encourage your daughter to use the proper safety gear and to be careful. Telling her she can’t do something would likely lead to her doing it without informing you. I recommend supporting her exploration of these sports with caution while also remembering community service. Participate in volunteer opportunities as a family while encouraging her to tell you about her extreme sports activities.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My partner and I are in the middle of planning our wedding, and we're facing a disagreement about the guest list. I envision a small, intimate ceremony with close friends and family, while my partner wants to invite a large number of their extended family and work colleagues. This has led to tension between us, and I’m struggling to find a compromise. At a recent family gathering, one of my partner’s extended relatives expressed excitement about the wedding and mentioned hoping to be included. It was a sweet moment, but it heightened my anxiety about the guest list growing too large. I can see how much it means to my partner to have everyone they care about there, but the enthusiasm has made the list feel overwhelming. I’ve suggested having a small ceremony followed by a larger reception, but my partner is concerned this might feel disjointed. How can we approach this conversation to find a solution that respects both our visions and keeps the planning process positive? -- Wedding Woes

DEAR WEDDING WOES: Why not start by creating a budget? Price out the cost of a wedding the size your partner wants to host along with one that feels realistic to you. Work backward in terms of desires and costs. Talk about all of the elements that are important to you both. Describe your vision of your wedding and the party. Your idea could be a welcome compromise if you can show it to your partner with a vivid description and possibly images from references you research. Many couples do a combo of intimate ceremony and larger party. Show your partner how the party can be special for everyone with a ceremony that is reserved to immediate family and closest friends.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter recently got a new job, and I’m just thrilled she has found a job out of college as the economy is very tough currently. However, the pay at this job is low, and despite my encouragement, she refuses to consider other opportunities that might offer a better salary. I’m proud of her for being so determined and sticking to her chosen path, but I can’t help but worry about the financial implications.

My husband and I are not in a position to provide significant financial support, yet we’ve already had to step in several times to help her out when she’s faced unexpected expenses. I don’t want to pressure her into taking a job she doesn’t want, but I’m afraid that continuing down this path could lead to a situation where we’re all struggling financially. How can I address this situation without causing tension or making her feel like I don’t support her career? -- Becoming Independent

DEAR BECOMING INDEPENDENT: Sit down with your daughter and talk about reality. Yes, she is starting her career and wanting to work in a field that fulfills her. That should be her goal, but you need to make it clear to her that you cannot afford to supplement her income for much longer. Give her a timeline after which you will no longer give her money. Suggest that she design a path that gets her to her desired income. This may require taking on a second job or looking for a new one. Your support today is a reality check that you then help to reinforce.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter “Marie,” who is a freshman in college, recently had an uncomfortable encounter with her cousin, my niece “Amy,” who is a senior at the same school. They had a close relationship growing up, so I was surprised to hear what had happened.

The incident took place at a coffee shop on campus, where Marie ran into Amy. Naturally, Marie was excited to see a familiar face and approached Amy to say hello. However, according to my daughter, Amy looked directly at Marie, didn’t acknowledge her greeting and then simply turned away without saying a word. Marie was left feeling confused, hurt and somewhat humiliated by the interaction. My daughter looks up to her cousin and was really hoping to have her support and guidance as she navigates her first year of college. Now she’s feeling isolated and unsure of what she did to deserve such treatment. Should I speak with Amy directly, or should I encourage Marie to talk to her cousin herself? -- Speak Up

DEAR SPEAK UP: First, encourage your daughter to reach out to her cousin and confront her about what happened. She should ask why Amy ignored her. What possible reason did she have to do that? It’s important for Marie to speak up for herself so that she stands in her power, even if it means that the two of them have no relationship right now. You can be backup if she needs to be consoled, but don’t meddle -- yet.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)