DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a husband seeking advice. My wife has been engaging in a practice she calls "fridgescaping," which is currently a viral trend on TikTok, where she decorates the inside of our fridge with vases and flowers to make it look pretty. While I appreciate her creativity, I find it to be overly extravagant and inconvenient as I often have to move things around to access items. When I mentioned my concerns, she immediately removed everything without discussion. Since then, she has been distant and uncommunicative. How can I address this issue with her when she’s closing her communication and giving me the cold shoulder? I did not realize this would be such a big issue. -- Fridgescaping

DEAR FRIDGESCAPING: Clearly you hurt your wife’s feelings, even though it wasn’t intentional. She found some joy in participating in this trend, and you brought in a practical concern that probably felt like having cold water thrown in her face.

Tell your wife you want to talk to her. Apologize for hurting her feelings. Share that you didn’t realize how much it would bother her for you to say something about her current focus on decorating the refrigerator. Of course you want her to be happy. Perhaps there is a compromise that you can reach so that she can continue to decorate and you can still find things. Make sure she knows your intention was not to make her feel bad -- you just wanted to be able to locate something you wanted to eat.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm 20 and currently dating someone who is significantly older than me -- by 16 years. While we have a strong connection, we face challenges due to our age gap. My partner's parents, who are more traditional, have made it clear through their disapproving glances and subtle comments that they are not fond of our relationship. I want to make a good impression and have a positive relationship with them. How can I build a better connection with them? Any advice on how to win them over would be greatly appreciated. -- Age Gap

DEAR AGE GAP: As the mother of a 20-year-old daughter, I have to say I totally understand the concerns that your partner’s parents (and probably others) have about your relationship. I also get that you feel like you have met someone who may be your partner and want to explore that. My best advice is to slow down. A lasting relationship is built on shared interests, intellectual connection, compatible values, intertwined goals, mutual respect and physical attraction. Pay attention to which of these things you share. How novel is the relationship versus how lasting? What do you want from this relationship?

I know that 20-year-olds can be mature, but through your eyes today, what do you want for your life and how might your partner fit into your vision? What does he want? Your partner’s parents' opinion of your relationship may soften over time if you two demonstrate that your commitment is real and can stand the test of time. Be patient and pay attention.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I started gardening as a way to unwind and connect with nature, and I’ve been loving it. However, it seems my enthusiasm might be causing some issues with my neighbors. They’ve mentioned that the noise from my gardening tools and the mess from soil and plant debris are becoming a problem for them. I truly find peace in this hobby and don’t want to give it up, but I also don’t want to create discomfort in my community. I’m trying to balance my enjoyment with being a good neighbor. What are some ways I can continue my gardening activities while addressing their concerns? Should I adjust the times I garden? I want to keep the peace while still enjoying my new passion. -- Gardening Neighbor Trouble

DEAR GARDENING NEIGHBOR TROUBLE: You are wise to consider how to enjoy your hobby and keep peace with your neighbors. Yes, you should adjust your gardening times, preferably to hours when most people are awake so that the noise doesn’t impact their sleep. If your neighbors enjoy eating outside, do your best not to garden at mealtimes, at least not if you have to use loud tools.

You also say they complain about the mess. Commit to being a tidy gardener. Clean up after yourself. Make sure your lawn always looks presentable. Don’t leave debris on the sidewalk or anywhere within view. By making an effort to address their concerns and reassuring them that you are doing so, you may be able to calm their concerns.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been invited to join a reality TV show that focuses on finding a significant other. I jokingly submitted an application last summer, and now it’s become a reality! It’s an incredible opportunity for personal growth and exposure, but I’m feeling anxious about how it will affect my private life and relationships. As someone who’s quite shy, I’m worried about handling the attention and scrutiny from family, friends and colleagues, especially when it comes to returning to work afterward. How do you think I should proceed? Thanks so much for any advice you can offer. -- Reality TV Decision

DEAR REALITY TV DECISION: You already know from having watched this type of TV show that the producers push contestants to the limits and often stage things to make people appear to be in compromising positions. I’m not sure that you can control whether that will happen to you, so you have to decide what you are willing to do and whether it is worth compromising your privacy and possibly your integrity. As you have seen on these shows, some people bow out when the line is crossed for them -- whatever that may mean. If you can make it clear what you are willing -- and unwilling -- to do and think through the consequences of what may happen, you can make an informed decision about whether to participate. What others think about your involvement will vary. What’s most important is whether you can live with your decision. After that, it will simply be defending your choice to whoever may challenge you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m 19, and I was invited to a close friend’s major milestone birthday party. Initially, I agreed to go, but I’ve since learned that the theme is “sexy Hollywood.” The mood board my friend created and feels strongly about features tight, skimpy skirts and bralettes, which I’m not comfortable wearing. I prefer more low-key events and feel overwhelmed by the extravagant nature of this theme. I don’t want to upset my friend or mess up our friendship, but I also need to stay true to myself. How can I back out of the invite while still showing that I appreciate being asked? -- Party Theme Dilemma

DEAR PARTY THEME DILEMMA: Yes, your friend created a mood board to express her vision for her big birthday party. That does not mean you have to take it literally. Have you ever been to a Halloween party where some people didn’t actually wear costumes but only added a little touch as a nod to the season? It happens all the time. Rather than bow out of your friend’s party, select something to wear that reflects your (less-revealing) vision of sexy Hollywood. Put that on and go to the event. You can make an appearance, show your friend that you support her and duck out if you feel uncomfortable.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently hosted a housewarming party after moving from my small apartment to a new house, a transition I'd anticipated for months. I put a lot of effort into planning this event, sending out invites to about 30 people a month in advance, including close friends, colleagues and even a few neighbors I've started to get to know. I prepared food and drinks and even set up some fun activities to make the evening special. However, to my surprise and disappointment, only three people showed up. I couldn't help but feel disheartened.

I am a 27-year-old single woman, and it feels like a huge accomplishment to buy a house by myself, but the turnout at my party has left me questioning a lot of things. Did I do something wrong? Is there something about me that drives people away? Or was it just bad timing? How do I move forward from this without feeling like it was a personal failure? -- Party Fail

DEAR PARTY FAIL: I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I can only imagine how bewildering it must feel. I have a few practical questions. Did you follow up after sending out the invitation a month in advance? I ask that because people have such short attention spans these days, some of your guests may have forgotten about your party. Did you schedule it on a day that was particularly busy? Did you talk to your friends about your move, how excited you were and how honored you would be to share it with them? Did you possibly brag too much about your new purchase? Were the people you invited truly close to you, or were they really just acquaintances?

It’s worth contemplating these questions to get a sense of why so few people showed up. Don’t belabor it, though. It is time to turn the page and build your life. If any of the no-shows chooses to tell you why they didn’t come, listen, but don’t ask them. Live your life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)