DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a falling out with a friend recently, and I’m not sure if I want to continue the relationship at all. She is probably a certifiable narcissist. Everything revolves around her. She needs to be the center of attention -- always. She revels in making quips about everyone and everything, and her comments are often biting.

I know this about her, but she crossed the line when she started talking about my son. I believe our families and certainly our children should be off-limits when it comes to making jokes at others’ expense. When I challenged her on this, she doubled down, saying that what she had said about my son was true, so what’s the big deal, even though it was unkind. Maybe I am being petty. Maybe I am crazy to be friends with this woman at all. I am a positive person, and she is very negative, though she doesn’t think that about herself.

I know I cannot change people, but I don’t appreciate someone bad-mouthing my child. Should I cut her off? When I spoke to her about it, she brushed it off and took no real responsibility for her words. -- Drawing the Line

DEAR DRAWING THE LINE: You have to decide how much is too much and what you are going to do about it. You already knew what this woman was like based on how she talked about other people. It was only a matter of time before her vitriol would be pointed at you and yours. If that was the last straw for you, so be it. You probably don’t need to tell her. You can just stop inviting her to spend time with you, stop accepting her invitations to hang out and limit your exposure to her. Why do I say that? If she doesn’t understand that insulting your son was taking her comments too far, chances are, she won’t have a sense of why you would cut her off. Don’t waste your breath; just change your actions.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been asked to co-author a book with a colleague for a company project, which is super exciting but also nerve-wracking because we have totally different writing styles and creative visions. I really want this collaboration to work out, but I'm feeling a bit anxious about how we can merge our ideas in a way that respects each other's contributions and keeps the partnership productive. Do you have any advice on how to work this out and make sure we create something awesome together? I'd appreciate any insights you have on this! -- Co-Author Collaboration

DEAR CO–AUTHOR COLLABORATION: Sometimes collaborating writers take on different chapters so that their contributions do not have to turn into one singular voice. You may consider that as a practical option. Still, you will have to come to terms on the structure and focus of the book together. You may want to invite a member of your team to serve as an editor -- or referee -- to help you establish an outline and help decide who does what.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a husband seeking advice. My wife has been engaging in a practice she calls "fridgescaping," which is currently a viral trend on TikTok, where she decorates the inside of our fridge with vases and flowers to make it look pretty. While I appreciate her creativity, I find it to be overly extravagant and inconvenient as I often have to move things around to access items. When I mentioned my concerns, she immediately removed everything without discussion. Since then, she has been distant and uncommunicative. How can I address this issue with her when she’s closing her communication and giving me the cold shoulder? I did not realize this would be such a big issue. -- Fridgescaping

DEAR FRIDGESCAPING: Clearly you hurt your wife’s feelings, even though it wasn’t intentional. She found some joy in participating in this trend, and you brought in a practical concern that probably felt like having cold water thrown in her face.

Tell your wife you want to talk to her. Apologize for hurting her feelings. Share that you didn’t realize how much it would bother her for you to say something about her current focus on decorating the refrigerator. Of course you want her to be happy. Perhaps there is a compromise that you can reach so that she can continue to decorate and you can still find things. Make sure she knows your intention was not to make her feel bad -- you just wanted to be able to locate something you wanted to eat.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm 20 and currently dating someone who is significantly older than me -- by 16 years. While we have a strong connection, we face challenges due to our age gap. My partner's parents, who are more traditional, have made it clear through their disapproving glances and subtle comments that they are not fond of our relationship. I want to make a good impression and have a positive relationship with them. How can I build a better connection with them? Any advice on how to win them over would be greatly appreciated. -- Age Gap

DEAR AGE GAP: As the mother of a 20-year-old daughter, I have to say I totally understand the concerns that your partner’s parents (and probably others) have about your relationship. I also get that you feel like you have met someone who may be your partner and want to explore that. My best advice is to slow down. A lasting relationship is built on shared interests, intellectual connection, compatible values, intertwined goals, mutual respect and physical attraction. Pay attention to which of these things you share. How novel is the relationship versus how lasting? What do you want from this relationship?

I know that 20-year-olds can be mature, but through your eyes today, what do you want for your life and how might your partner fit into your vision? What does he want? Your partner’s parents' opinion of your relationship may soften over time if you two demonstrate that your commitment is real and can stand the test of time. Be patient and pay attention.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I started gardening as a way to unwind and connect with nature, and I’ve been loving it. However, it seems my enthusiasm might be causing some issues with my neighbors. They’ve mentioned that the noise from my gardening tools and the mess from soil and plant debris are becoming a problem for them. I truly find peace in this hobby and don’t want to give it up, but I also don’t want to create discomfort in my community. I’m trying to balance my enjoyment with being a good neighbor. What are some ways I can continue my gardening activities while addressing their concerns? Should I adjust the times I garden? I want to keep the peace while still enjoying my new passion. -- Gardening Neighbor Trouble

DEAR GARDENING NEIGHBOR TROUBLE: You are wise to consider how to enjoy your hobby and keep peace with your neighbors. Yes, you should adjust your gardening times, preferably to hours when most people are awake so that the noise doesn’t impact their sleep. If your neighbors enjoy eating outside, do your best not to garden at mealtimes, at least not if you have to use loud tools.

You also say they complain about the mess. Commit to being a tidy gardener. Clean up after yourself. Make sure your lawn always looks presentable. Don’t leave debris on the sidewalk or anywhere within view. By making an effort to address their concerns and reassuring them that you are doing so, you may be able to calm their concerns.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been invited to join a reality TV show that focuses on finding a significant other. I jokingly submitted an application last summer, and now it’s become a reality! It’s an incredible opportunity for personal growth and exposure, but I’m feeling anxious about how it will affect my private life and relationships. As someone who’s quite shy, I’m worried about handling the attention and scrutiny from family, friends and colleagues, especially when it comes to returning to work afterward. How do you think I should proceed? Thanks so much for any advice you can offer. -- Reality TV Decision

DEAR REALITY TV DECISION: You already know from having watched this type of TV show that the producers push contestants to the limits and often stage things to make people appear to be in compromising positions. I’m not sure that you can control whether that will happen to you, so you have to decide what you are willing to do and whether it is worth compromising your privacy and possibly your integrity. As you have seen on these shows, some people bow out when the line is crossed for them -- whatever that may mean. If you can make it clear what you are willing -- and unwilling -- to do and think through the consequences of what may happen, you can make an informed decision about whether to participate. What others think about your involvement will vary. What’s most important is whether you can live with your decision. After that, it will simply be defending your choice to whoever may challenge you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)