DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister, who is eight years older than me, showed up late to my wedding and missed nearly half of the ceremony. As my now-husband and I were exchanging vows, she made a grand entrance that was anything but discreet, causing a huge disruption. To make matters worse, she was wearing a white gown, which felt completely inappropriate and disrespectful. My sister has always been somewhat difficult, and I’ve tried to be understanding of her feelings, especially since she's been vocal about her frustration and embarrassment over not being married at 40. I know that being single is a sensitive topic for her, but her actions at my wedding felt like a deliberate attempt to steal the spotlight and overshadow my special moment. It’s as if she couldn’t stand to see me happy and wanted to get back at me for finding my person. Should I confront her about how her actions affected me? -- Jealous Sister

DEAR JEALOUS SISTER: You absolutely should talk to your sister and let her know how inappropriate her behavior was at your wedding. She has to know better than to come late, wear a white gown and attempt to upstage you at this precious time. Acknowledge that you know she struggles with sensitivity around not being married herself, but your wedding was not the time to act out.

While you can make those points, don’t expect your sister to miraculously apologize and change. She must be dealing with some demons to do such a thing on her sister’s big day. But at least you can call her on it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: During my 13-year-old daughter’s basketball practice, her coach, a 26-year-old man, challenged her and her teammates to a race, with the promise that if one of them could beat him, he’d throw a pizza party for the team. From the start, it seemed like an unfair challenge since he’s an adult and obviously faster and stronger than a group of 13-year-olds. But my daughter, who is very quick for her age, took on the challenge with enthusiasm. She pushed herself hard and came surprisingly close to beating him. When the race ended, instead of congratulating her or praising her effort, the coach accused her of cheating. He said she needed to rerun the race by herself as a punishment, which seemed absurd and punitive. My daughter responded by saying she hadn’t cheated and suggested that he was just embarrassed because he almost got beat by a 13-year-old girl. The situation escalated into an argument, and my daughter was understandably upset. As a parent, I’m not sure if I should speak to the coach directly, involve the school or the league or just let my daughter handle it herself. -- Out-of-Control Coach

DEAR OUT-OF-CONTROL COACH: It is time for you to intervene. It sounds like your daughter was bullied by her coach, which is unacceptable. Go to the school principal and report the incident. If your daughter is up to it, ask her to recount exactly what happened. Do it soon, as it will be her word against the coach’s. You need the facts outlined clearly so that the school can determine how to discipline the coach. The job of a coach is to teach and support the team, not to demean them -- though sometimes that does happen. Your daughter needs to know that you have her back. This is one of those times when she needs you to stand up for her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently become part of a new social cooking group, and while I have been enjoying the sense of community and shared passion for food, I have noticed that some members have been sharing my recipes and personal cooking techniques online without my consent, just changing up small details like switching basil leaves to onions. While I appreciate their enthusiasm and excitement about my creations, I value my privacy when it comes to my recipes. I would like to find a way to address this issue with the group without making it a big deal. Women tend to gossip a lot, and I do not want to be labeled harshly. -- Recipe Sharing

DEAR RECIPE SHARING: Now is the time to speak up and be direct about your thoughts. Tell your new friends how much you enjoy cooking with them and learning and growing together. Point out, though, that you noticed that some of them are posting your recipe hacks on social media -- with a twist here and there -- and you do not feel comfortable with that. You thought that this cooking group was a safe space to explore and grow together. But you do not consent to having your recipes appear in a public forum. This could cause a bit of a ripple, but if you don’t say something, you may regret it.

Encourage the group to check in with each other in general before posting recipes unless they are uniquely their own. Consider if you would be up for a cookbook or online cooking forum where you all post your creations. There is a way to remedy this and not completely shut down the draw to post. There need to be boundaries around attribution and permission to post.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Your advice is usually sensible and thoughtful, so I was surprised by your advice to the woman whose mother-in-law made cruel comments about her acne, “Bad Skin, Tender Heart.” Your first suggestion is to find out what’s going on with her skin? The mother-in-law’s comments are the problem! She should firmly tell her mother-in-law not to remark on her skin, her husband should do the same and they should limit their contact with her if she continues. Even if not intended, your message was that if her skin were better or her MIL understood the problem, she would be nicer. That shouldn’t be the case. -- Think Twice

DEAR THINK TWICE: Thank you for your comments about my response to the woman who was being bullied by her mother-in-law. You bring out a crucial point that I absolutely did not address well. No matter what is going on with the daughter-in-law, it is not OK for the mother-in-law -- or anybody else -- to comment on her appearance. That should have been my first and more important point.

You know what they say about unintended consequences. Here’s a moment where I thought I was addressing the writer who is suffering from a medical condition and wanting to help her in that way when what I should have addressed first was the inappropriate behavior -- which is why she wrote to me. Thanks for pointing that out!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 16-year-old teenage daughter landed a part-time job this semester, and I can tell she's really feeling the pressure of trying to juggle work, school and her social life all at once. I want to support her independence and growth, but I can see how stressed out she is getting. I'm trying to figure out how to help her balance this workload without swooping in and taking over everything. I want to be there for her and guide her without stepping on her toes, making sure she learns what commitment means. What would you suggest is the best approach for this? -- Teen Work-Life

DEAR TEEN WORK-LIFE: My advice is to step back and allow your daughter to figure it out for herself. If you helicopter parent her, she will not learn how to deal with mistakes, how to manage time or how to get up when she falls down. She has to live her life and experience these things in order to learn and grow. Yes, it might be hard for you to keep your mouth shut if you notice her slipping up on occasion. But you need to give her space to live her life and experience these things.

That doesn’t mean you completely say nothing, but it does mean that you aren’t there course correcting at every turn. Let your daughter know that you are always there for her when she needs you, but you want her to learn how to manage her life herself. This experience will be an invaluable lesson for her future, and letting her do it on her own is a gift.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently started a new workout routine at the gym, and I've run into a situation with one of the regulars. This person keeps giving me unsolicited advice and corrections about my form during my workouts. I know he means well, but it can feel intrusive and even discouraging. I'm all for improving my form and getting the most out of my workouts, but I want to find a way to address this situation politely without causing any awkwardness. How can I address this situation respectfully and maintain a positive gym environment? -- Unsolicited Gym Advice

DEAR UNSOLICITED GYM ADVICE: I can only imagine how annoying that person is to you, no matter how well-meaning. You may want to engage a trainer at the gym for a few weeks so that this person can see that you are getting professional help -- and to ensure that you are doing your workout correctly and not hurting yourself. When you stop seeing the professional, if the other gymgoer jumps back in to offer advice, you can say thank you, but you are following the lessons from your instructor.

You can also just say thank you for wanting to help you, but you want to work out alone. Put on headphones and play music. When the person comes over, you can nod but not listen to the advice. If you ignore him, eventually he will go away.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)