DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m feeling hurt after a conversation with my brother. He told me that I was fat and suggested that I lose some weight. I’m 30 years old, and I just had my second child a few months ago. Between taking care of my newborn and my older child, plus working full time, I’ve been completely overwhelmed. Sleep is a luxury, and finding time to eat a decent meal feels like an accomplishment on its own, let alone focusing on dieting or exercising. My weight has been on my mind, but it’s something I’ve had to push to the back burner because I’m juggling so much right now. I’ve only recently been given the green light from my doctor to start exercising again, but with the exhaustion that comes from taking care of a newborn, it’s been hard to get started. I already feel pressure from all sides to bounce back to my pre-pregnancy body, and my brother’s comment just made me feel even worse about myself. Should I confront my brother about how his words affected me, or should I just let it go? And how do I find a balance between being kind to myself and feeling the pressure to lose weight? -- Overweight

DEAR OVERWEIGHT: Your brother did not choose his words well. I’m sorry he hurt your feelings. Yes, you can and should tell him that his words did not help -- especially since you are already aware of your weight. Having just had a child, your hormones are still raging as you are getting to know and care for your child. Explain to him that right now, more than anything, you need a cheerleader and support as you navigate being a new mom. Perhaps he can walk with you or help in some other way to relieve the stress you are experiencing rather than fat-shaming you.

That said, you can take small steps to reclaim your health. I remember right after my daughter was born, I gained a lot of weight. I didn’t address it for more than a year, and it did take a long time to lose it. Talk to your doctor about what you can do for your overall health -- to regain energy and vibrancy and shed the extra pounds.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Regarding “Living Together,” the 36-year-old woman who is eager to get married: For a few hundred bucks, she can buy a wedding band for him, find a good time and place, get down on one knee and propose to him. It seems to me like the best way to find out a partner's long-term intentions is just to ask them, but if you really put them on the spot with a ring in hand, you will get a pretty clear idea of what their intentions truly are! -- My Two Cents

DEAR MY TWO CENTS: Ah-ha! Be bold and see what happens. This is one way to get an answer. The bigger point is to be direct. Don’t be shy about your life and how you want to spend your time. Get your partner to respond honestly. The surprise of a ring just might do it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister, who is eight years older than me, showed up late to my wedding and missed nearly half of the ceremony. As my now-husband and I were exchanging vows, she made a grand entrance that was anything but discreet, causing a huge disruption. To make matters worse, she was wearing a white gown, which felt completely inappropriate and disrespectful. My sister has always been somewhat difficult, and I’ve tried to be understanding of her feelings, especially since she's been vocal about her frustration and embarrassment over not being married at 40. I know that being single is a sensitive topic for her, but her actions at my wedding felt like a deliberate attempt to steal the spotlight and overshadow my special moment. It’s as if she couldn’t stand to see me happy and wanted to get back at me for finding my person. Should I confront her about how her actions affected me? -- Jealous Sister

DEAR JEALOUS SISTER: You absolutely should talk to your sister and let her know how inappropriate her behavior was at your wedding. She has to know better than to come late, wear a white gown and attempt to upstage you at this precious time. Acknowledge that you know she struggles with sensitivity around not being married herself, but your wedding was not the time to act out.

While you can make those points, don’t expect your sister to miraculously apologize and change. She must be dealing with some demons to do such a thing on her sister’s big day. But at least you can call her on it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: During my 13-year-old daughter’s basketball practice, her coach, a 26-year-old man, challenged her and her teammates to a race, with the promise that if one of them could beat him, he’d throw a pizza party for the team. From the start, it seemed like an unfair challenge since he’s an adult and obviously faster and stronger than a group of 13-year-olds. But my daughter, who is very quick for her age, took on the challenge with enthusiasm. She pushed herself hard and came surprisingly close to beating him. When the race ended, instead of congratulating her or praising her effort, the coach accused her of cheating. He said she needed to rerun the race by herself as a punishment, which seemed absurd and punitive. My daughter responded by saying she hadn’t cheated and suggested that he was just embarrassed because he almost got beat by a 13-year-old girl. The situation escalated into an argument, and my daughter was understandably upset. As a parent, I’m not sure if I should speak to the coach directly, involve the school or the league or just let my daughter handle it herself. -- Out-of-Control Coach

DEAR OUT-OF-CONTROL COACH: It is time for you to intervene. It sounds like your daughter was bullied by her coach, which is unacceptable. Go to the school principal and report the incident. If your daughter is up to it, ask her to recount exactly what happened. Do it soon, as it will be her word against the coach’s. You need the facts outlined clearly so that the school can determine how to discipline the coach. The job of a coach is to teach and support the team, not to demean them -- though sometimes that does happen. Your daughter needs to know that you have her back. This is one of those times when she needs you to stand up for her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently become part of a new social cooking group, and while I have been enjoying the sense of community and shared passion for food, I have noticed that some members have been sharing my recipes and personal cooking techniques online without my consent, just changing up small details like switching basil leaves to onions. While I appreciate their enthusiasm and excitement about my creations, I value my privacy when it comes to my recipes. I would like to find a way to address this issue with the group without making it a big deal. Women tend to gossip a lot, and I do not want to be labeled harshly. -- Recipe Sharing

DEAR RECIPE SHARING: Now is the time to speak up and be direct about your thoughts. Tell your new friends how much you enjoy cooking with them and learning and growing together. Point out, though, that you noticed that some of them are posting your recipe hacks on social media -- with a twist here and there -- and you do not feel comfortable with that. You thought that this cooking group was a safe space to explore and grow together. But you do not consent to having your recipes appear in a public forum. This could cause a bit of a ripple, but if you don’t say something, you may regret it.

Encourage the group to check in with each other in general before posting recipes unless they are uniquely their own. Consider if you would be up for a cookbook or online cooking forum where you all post your creations. There is a way to remedy this and not completely shut down the draw to post. There need to be boundaries around attribution and permission to post.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Your advice is usually sensible and thoughtful, so I was surprised by your advice to the woman whose mother-in-law made cruel comments about her acne, “Bad Skin, Tender Heart.” Your first suggestion is to find out what’s going on with her skin? The mother-in-law’s comments are the problem! She should firmly tell her mother-in-law not to remark on her skin, her husband should do the same and they should limit their contact with her if she continues. Even if not intended, your message was that if her skin were better or her MIL understood the problem, she would be nicer. That shouldn’t be the case. -- Think Twice

DEAR THINK TWICE: Thank you for your comments about my response to the woman who was being bullied by her mother-in-law. You bring out a crucial point that I absolutely did not address well. No matter what is going on with the daughter-in-law, it is not OK for the mother-in-law -- or anybody else -- to comment on her appearance. That should have been my first and more important point.

You know what they say about unintended consequences. Here’s a moment where I thought I was addressing the writer who is suffering from a medical condition and wanting to help her in that way when what I should have addressed first was the inappropriate behavior -- which is why she wrote to me. Thanks for pointing that out!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)