DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been seeing a guy for the past four months, and while things started well, I'm still unsure of where I stand in his life. We live in different cities, so our relationship has been long-distance, making it even harder to figure out what’s happening between us.

Recently, I brought up the topic of our relationship status, hoping for some clarity. He told me we are dating exclusively, which was somewhat reassuring, but then he added that we’re not officially boyfriend and girlfriend. This confused me because it feels like we're in this undefined gray area where I’m unsure if I should fully invest my emotions or hold back to protect myself. To make things more complicated, I’m moving to his city in about nine months for work, so part of me feels like I’m just waiting around for things to maybe get more serious once we’re in the same place. I don’t want to put my life on hold or end up embarrassed for holding on to something that might not be as meaningful to him as it is to me. What should I do? -- Is He Serious

DEAR IS HE SERIOUS: Have a direct conversation with this man. Tell him what you like about your relationship and why it is valuable to you. Point out that it was confusing to you for him to say you are exclusive but not yet boyfriend and girlfriend. Ask him what that means to him. More, ask him what he wants for your relationship. Remind him that you will soon be moving to his city, and tell him what you want: a committed relationship. Find out if he wants that as well. If not, it’s OK. You will know and be able to act accordingly. Be brave now. You deserve clarity.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I loved the letter from “Daily Journaling Habits,” the person who wants to write in a journal every day. I’ve been keeping a daily journal for over 35 years. The key for me is a journal with one page per day, and the pages are dated. The limit of space per day keeps me from feeling overwhelmed by how much I have to write each day. If I miss a day, I just leave the page blank, and I can always fill it in later -- or not. I’ve been publishing my own annual blank journal since 2013. -- The Almost-Blank Journal

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been journaling since adolescence. Writing has always been my outlet. With voice-to-text technology, it is now expeditious to speak my thoughts into a Notes app file or in an email to myself, which I save in a personal file. Thus, I am more likely to make the time and effort to capture my thoughts and feelings than if I have to write them by hand. -- Lifetime Writer

DEAR ALMOST BLANK JOURNAL AND LIFETIME WRITER: Thank you for your encouragement of journaling. I agree that it can be an invaluable way to let your thoughts and feelings flow, to release yourself from tension you may be holding in your being and to capture your creative thoughts.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m feeling hurt after a conversation with my brother. He told me that I was fat and suggested that I lose some weight. I’m 30 years old, and I just had my second child a few months ago. Between taking care of my newborn and my older child, plus working full time, I’ve been completely overwhelmed. Sleep is a luxury, and finding time to eat a decent meal feels like an accomplishment on its own, let alone focusing on dieting or exercising. My weight has been on my mind, but it’s something I’ve had to push to the back burner because I’m juggling so much right now. I’ve only recently been given the green light from my doctor to start exercising again, but with the exhaustion that comes from taking care of a newborn, it’s been hard to get started. I already feel pressure from all sides to bounce back to my pre-pregnancy body, and my brother’s comment just made me feel even worse about myself. Should I confront my brother about how his words affected me, or should I just let it go? And how do I find a balance between being kind to myself and feeling the pressure to lose weight? -- Overweight

DEAR OVERWEIGHT: Your brother did not choose his words well. I’m sorry he hurt your feelings. Yes, you can and should tell him that his words did not help -- especially since you are already aware of your weight. Having just had a child, your hormones are still raging as you are getting to know and care for your child. Explain to him that right now, more than anything, you need a cheerleader and support as you navigate being a new mom. Perhaps he can walk with you or help in some other way to relieve the stress you are experiencing rather than fat-shaming you.

That said, you can take small steps to reclaim your health. I remember right after my daughter was born, I gained a lot of weight. I didn’t address it for more than a year, and it did take a long time to lose it. Talk to your doctor about what you can do for your overall health -- to regain energy and vibrancy and shed the extra pounds.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Regarding “Living Together,” the 36-year-old woman who is eager to get married: For a few hundred bucks, she can buy a wedding band for him, find a good time and place, get down on one knee and propose to him. It seems to me like the best way to find out a partner's long-term intentions is just to ask them, but if you really put them on the spot with a ring in hand, you will get a pretty clear idea of what their intentions truly are! -- My Two Cents

DEAR MY TWO CENTS: Ah-ha! Be bold and see what happens. This is one way to get an answer. The bigger point is to be direct. Don’t be shy about your life and how you want to spend your time. Get your partner to respond honestly. The surprise of a ring just might do it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister, who is eight years older than me, showed up late to my wedding and missed nearly half of the ceremony. As my now-husband and I were exchanging vows, she made a grand entrance that was anything but discreet, causing a huge disruption. To make matters worse, she was wearing a white gown, which felt completely inappropriate and disrespectful. My sister has always been somewhat difficult, and I’ve tried to be understanding of her feelings, especially since she's been vocal about her frustration and embarrassment over not being married at 40. I know that being single is a sensitive topic for her, but her actions at my wedding felt like a deliberate attempt to steal the spotlight and overshadow my special moment. It’s as if she couldn’t stand to see me happy and wanted to get back at me for finding my person. Should I confront her about how her actions affected me? -- Jealous Sister

DEAR JEALOUS SISTER: You absolutely should talk to your sister and let her know how inappropriate her behavior was at your wedding. She has to know better than to come late, wear a white gown and attempt to upstage you at this precious time. Acknowledge that you know she struggles with sensitivity around not being married herself, but your wedding was not the time to act out.

While you can make those points, don’t expect your sister to miraculously apologize and change. She must be dealing with some demons to do such a thing on her sister’s big day. But at least you can call her on it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: During my 13-year-old daughter’s basketball practice, her coach, a 26-year-old man, challenged her and her teammates to a race, with the promise that if one of them could beat him, he’d throw a pizza party for the team. From the start, it seemed like an unfair challenge since he’s an adult and obviously faster and stronger than a group of 13-year-olds. But my daughter, who is very quick for her age, took on the challenge with enthusiasm. She pushed herself hard and came surprisingly close to beating him. When the race ended, instead of congratulating her or praising her effort, the coach accused her of cheating. He said she needed to rerun the race by herself as a punishment, which seemed absurd and punitive. My daughter responded by saying she hadn’t cheated and suggested that he was just embarrassed because he almost got beat by a 13-year-old girl. The situation escalated into an argument, and my daughter was understandably upset. As a parent, I’m not sure if I should speak to the coach directly, involve the school or the league or just let my daughter handle it herself. -- Out-of-Control Coach

DEAR OUT-OF-CONTROL COACH: It is time for you to intervene. It sounds like your daughter was bullied by her coach, which is unacceptable. Go to the school principal and report the incident. If your daughter is up to it, ask her to recount exactly what happened. Do it soon, as it will be her word against the coach’s. You need the facts outlined clearly so that the school can determine how to discipline the coach. The job of a coach is to teach and support the team, not to demean them -- though sometimes that does happen. Your daughter needs to know that you have her back. This is one of those times when she needs you to stand up for her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)