DEAR HARRIETTE: I accidentally discovered through a viral TikTok video that my childhood friend has been using my personal stories and experiences as material for her stand-up comedy routine. We used to be neighbors, and naturally, we used to share everything growing up, from secrets to dreams, and I always trusted her to keep my personal life private. Now, seeing those intimate moments turned into jokes for a crowd to laugh at feels like a betrayal of that trust. While I’m happy for her success, I can't help but feel uncomfortable with how public and personal my life experiences have become without my permission. It's like my innermost thoughts and memories have been put on display for the world to see, and I never consented to that.

I know that comedians often draw inspiration from their own lives and the lives of those around them, but there should be boundaries when it comes to sharing someone else's personal stories. I want to address this situation with my friend in a respectful and honest manner. I need to have a conversation with her about how I feel and express my concerns about the boundaries that have been crossed. Any advice would be valuable. -- Friend’s Betrayal

DEAR FRIEND’S BETRAYAL: Speak to an attorney first to find out if you have any legal footing in this matter. This is important if you choose to press her to quit telling your stories. You don’t have to lead with that when you talk to her; just know what recourse, if any, you have.

Reach out to your friend and ask to get together. Share that you have noticed her success -- and also her content. Tell her how shocked and disappointed you were to discover that she was sharing your personal life story on stage without your permission. Ask her to stop. What she says next will inform your next steps. Without wanting to further out yourself, you probably have little recourse unless you learn that you can sue her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My workplace recently implemented a new policy that requires everyone to participate in team-building activities outside of work hours. It consists of raffles and prizes that you can win by answering questions regarding our company processes. While I understand the intention, these activities are taking up a lot of my personal time. I’m reluctant to voice my concerns because I don’t want to appear uncooperative when everyone else doesn’t seem to have a problem with it. I tried to dodge a few times by saying I have an emergency, but I noticed my manager became more critical of my output afterward. I suspect it’s because of my lack of cooperation with the activities. I heard managers get incentives when their team wins. How do you think I can address this in a constructive way? -- Office Politics

DEAR OFFICE POLITICS: Lauren Wesley Wilson, author of “What Do You Need?,” tells a story of herself doing her best at work, but being unwilling to do the extracurricular activities. At that stage in her career, she thought that being excellent at her job should be enough. She says she quickly learned that team-building is equally important, and that includes participating in outside activities that are valuable to your company.

My recommendation to you is to do the requested activities with a smile on your face and get to know your teammates. It will pay off in the long run.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been seeing a guy for the past four months, and while things started well, I'm still unsure of where I stand in his life. We live in different cities, so our relationship has been long-distance, making it even harder to figure out what’s happening between us.

Recently, I brought up the topic of our relationship status, hoping for some clarity. He told me we are dating exclusively, which was somewhat reassuring, but then he added that we’re not officially boyfriend and girlfriend. This confused me because it feels like we're in this undefined gray area where I’m unsure if I should fully invest my emotions or hold back to protect myself. To make things more complicated, I’m moving to his city in about nine months for work, so part of me feels like I’m just waiting around for things to maybe get more serious once we’re in the same place. I don’t want to put my life on hold or end up embarrassed for holding on to something that might not be as meaningful to him as it is to me. What should I do? -- Is He Serious

DEAR IS HE SERIOUS: Have a direct conversation with this man. Tell him what you like about your relationship and why it is valuable to you. Point out that it was confusing to you for him to say you are exclusive but not yet boyfriend and girlfriend. Ask him what that means to him. More, ask him what he wants for your relationship. Remind him that you will soon be moving to his city, and tell him what you want: a committed relationship. Find out if he wants that as well. If not, it’s OK. You will know and be able to act accordingly. Be brave now. You deserve clarity.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I loved the letter from “Daily Journaling Habits,” the person who wants to write in a journal every day. I’ve been keeping a daily journal for over 35 years. The key for me is a journal with one page per day, and the pages are dated. The limit of space per day keeps me from feeling overwhelmed by how much I have to write each day. If I miss a day, I just leave the page blank, and I can always fill it in later -- or not. I’ve been publishing my own annual blank journal since 2013. -- The Almost-Blank Journal

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been journaling since adolescence. Writing has always been my outlet. With voice-to-text technology, it is now expeditious to speak my thoughts into a Notes app file or in an email to myself, which I save in a personal file. Thus, I am more likely to make the time and effort to capture my thoughts and feelings than if I have to write them by hand. -- Lifetime Writer

DEAR ALMOST BLANK JOURNAL AND LIFETIME WRITER: Thank you for your encouragement of journaling. I agree that it can be an invaluable way to let your thoughts and feelings flow, to release yourself from tension you may be holding in your being and to capture your creative thoughts.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m feeling hurt after a conversation with my brother. He told me that I was fat and suggested that I lose some weight. I’m 30 years old, and I just had my second child a few months ago. Between taking care of my newborn and my older child, plus working full time, I’ve been completely overwhelmed. Sleep is a luxury, and finding time to eat a decent meal feels like an accomplishment on its own, let alone focusing on dieting or exercising. My weight has been on my mind, but it’s something I’ve had to push to the back burner because I’m juggling so much right now. I’ve only recently been given the green light from my doctor to start exercising again, but with the exhaustion that comes from taking care of a newborn, it’s been hard to get started. I already feel pressure from all sides to bounce back to my pre-pregnancy body, and my brother’s comment just made me feel even worse about myself. Should I confront my brother about how his words affected me, or should I just let it go? And how do I find a balance between being kind to myself and feeling the pressure to lose weight? -- Overweight

DEAR OVERWEIGHT: Your brother did not choose his words well. I’m sorry he hurt your feelings. Yes, you can and should tell him that his words did not help -- especially since you are already aware of your weight. Having just had a child, your hormones are still raging as you are getting to know and care for your child. Explain to him that right now, more than anything, you need a cheerleader and support as you navigate being a new mom. Perhaps he can walk with you or help in some other way to relieve the stress you are experiencing rather than fat-shaming you.

That said, you can take small steps to reclaim your health. I remember right after my daughter was born, I gained a lot of weight. I didn’t address it for more than a year, and it did take a long time to lose it. Talk to your doctor about what you can do for your overall health -- to regain energy and vibrancy and shed the extra pounds.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Regarding “Living Together,” the 36-year-old woman who is eager to get married: For a few hundred bucks, she can buy a wedding band for him, find a good time and place, get down on one knee and propose to him. It seems to me like the best way to find out a partner's long-term intentions is just to ask them, but if you really put them on the spot with a ring in hand, you will get a pretty clear idea of what their intentions truly are! -- My Two Cents

DEAR MY TWO CENTS: Ah-ha! Be bold and see what happens. This is one way to get an answer. The bigger point is to be direct. Don’t be shy about your life and how you want to spend your time. Get your partner to respond honestly. The surprise of a ring just might do it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)