DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m having a hard time controlling my shopping habits. I often find myself buying things on impulse, which leads to regret afterwards. I want to take better care of my money, but breaking the habit of spontaneous spending seems really challenging.

I’ve tried setting financial goals by using digital spreadsheets, manual logging and avoiding temptation, but I still struggle with resisting the urge to make unplanned purchases, especially when I’m stressed or bored. I’m looking for effective strategies to help me curb these impulsive buying habits and improve my overall financial management. What steps can I take to manage my shopping addiction and create a healthier relationship with my money? I’m ready to make some changes, but I need practical advice on how to start. -- Spending Habit

DEAR SPENDING HABIT: Set up automatic withdrawals from your paycheck that go into protected savings instruments that are not easily touched. This will help to safeguard some of your money. Next, get a therapist who can work with you to address your spending habits and teach you ways to control your impulses.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I believe you gave incorrect advice to “Separation Anxiety,” the mother whose child is struggling after only one day in college. College today is a very different place than it was years ago. I have taught high school (full-time) and college (part-time) continuously for over 30 years. Many students do not choose to go to college by themselves -- their parents are the ones insisting this is the next step. Young adults mature at different times, and sometimes a community college close to home is a good first step where a student can figure out if he or she is suited for an academic track, or perhaps might prefer workforce development with a technical degree. If the academic track works out well, the student can transfer after a year or so when he or she has gained some maturity and has figured out how to navigate higher education in a smaller context first.

Even though my husband and I are both college grads and I worked with college students for so many years, our own introverted daughter had a disastrous first year. She had a difficult time adjusting to a socially oriented roommate who was out all hours of the night, to all of the partying and to other pressures to fit in. We encouraged her to stick with school for the reasons you mentioned and also encouraged her to check out clubs. To our horror, she developed a serious eating disorder, and by the time she came home for Christmas break, she was a shell of her former self, and she withdrew completely. She then transferred to our local community college and, with love and counseling, eventually transferred back to a four-year university and now is an attorney.

The social pressures of college are not for every child, and I encourage the mother to listen to the concerns of her daughter. We so wish we had done so. -- A Reader in Virginia

DEAR A READER IN VIRGINIA: Thanks for sharing your story. It is true that every person develops uniquely, and community college is a great bridge to independence for some. Your story is illuminating.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: For the past few years, I have been getting together for dinner with a few other women with whom I used to work. When the first woman left for a new job, another woman started a text group so we can all stay in touch. That same woman would organize a dinner a few times per year. That was basically the only communication among the group. None of us work together anymore, and I have been away from that company for a couple of years.

Over the last year or two, it has become clear that the original organizer is the only one who is interested in continuing these get-togethers. We basically never communicate unless she is setting up dinner.

I recently went through a stressful life event. In the middle of that, one of these dinner invites came out. I responded to the group with a brief explanation of what was going on and said I would not be available for a couple of months while I worked through this. The fact that nobody reached out to check on me confirmed that it was time for me to move on from this group, but how do I do that? If I remove myself from the text group, everyone gets a notification that I’ve left. I have nothing against these women, it’s just clear to me that this chapter is over. I’m tempted to just stop following the chat, but that seems rude. Can you recommend how I can step away from this situation? -- Ready To Move On

DEAR READY TO MOVE ON: If you are ready to close this chapter of your life and you want to do it graciously, you can send a note to the group chat thanking them for being a source of comfort over the years and adding that you are now moving on. Wish them the best of luck in their lives, and leave the chat. If anyone wants to be in touch with you, they should be able to reach you. There is nothing bad about ending a chapter of your life. Do it with dignity and move forward. Your action may spark some of the group members to rethink their involvement. Friendships do not always last a lifetime, and that’s all right.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Your advice to the gardener who was causing issues with their neighbors, “Gardening Neighbor Trouble,” was very helpful, but they may also want to see if they have a local community garden area near them. This would give them a good place to have a garden, either flowers or produce, and possibly a chance to meet other people who share the same interests. -- Here To Help

DEAR HERE TO HELP: Thank you for your advice. The community garden is a perfect way to support someone who enjoys the gardening experience -- with like-minded people. I trust that anyone reading this will look at community bulletin boards and at gardening centers to discover such an organization in their town.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 17-year-old daughter recently posted a picture of herself on Instagram. She was so excited because the photos were from a concert where her favorite band performed. Someone she thought was her friend took a screenshot of that photo and used it in an incredibly hurtful way: She posted the picture on a private Snapchat story and cruelly made fun of my daughter, calling her ugly and encouraging others to laugh at her.

When my daughter found out, she was devastated. She’s always been pretty confident, but this has really shaken her. It’s hard enough being a teenager these days with all the pressures of social media, body image and fitting in, and to have someone she trusted turn around and publicly humiliate her like this is just too much. Should I try to intervene and speak to this girl’s parents or reach out to the school to see if there’s anything they can do? My daughter doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it because she’s embarrassed, but I can’t just stand by and do nothing. -- Cyber Hazing

DEAR CYBER HAZING: You cannot fix this, so stand down for now. You don’t want to risk further embarrassment for your daughter. Support her from the sidelines by explaining that some people are mean-spirited, like this person she thought was a friend. Your daughter should walk away from her. She has proven to be a bad friend. As much as it hurts, she should ignore her and make the effort to live her life and build new friendships. If the girl continues to bully her, encourage your daughter to speak to the principal, and offer to help if she takes that step.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m 67 years old, and recently my 19-year-old cat passed away. I was sad about her death, but I came to terms with it more easily than I had expected. My husband and I recently became empty nesters, and with the passing of our cat, we have no responsibilities other than looking after ourselves. I’ve always had a passion for travel, but I was unable to because I was busy raising my children and taking care of my cat. Now I find myself with the time and freedom to explore the world, and I was excited to do so.

A few days ago, I mentioned to my children that I missed my cat, but I didn’t realize they would take that statement so seriously. In an effort to cheer me up, my children surprised me with a kitten. While I appreciate their thoughtfulness, I have to admit I’m a bit irritated by the situation. This kitten, being so young, could live for another 20 years, and I’m not sure I’m ready to make that kind of commitment again. As much as I miss my old cat, I was looking forward to having the flexibility to travel and live more spontaneously now that both my children and my pets have moved on. Do you think I should give the kitten back to my children? -- Moving On

DEAR MOVING ON: Gather your children and speak to them in person. Thank them for being so thoughtful, but explain that while you appreciate their generosity, you no longer want a pet. Tell them your plans to see the world and how a pet makes that impossible. Invite them to take in the cat themselves or return it to be rehomed.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)