DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m at a crossroads in my relationship with my boyfriend. We’ve been together for several years, and for the most part, our relationship has been strong and loving. We’ve talked about our future together many times, and I’ve always pictured us getting married, building a life and starting a family. However, a recent conversation about marriage has left me feeling unsure. My boyfriend has told me that he would only consider marrying me if I converted to Judaism. I was raised Christian. While I have a lot of respect for his beliefs and the traditions he values, I don’t feel comfortable converting to another religion just to meet his expectations. I’ve tried to express my feelings to him, explaining that I love him and want to find a way for us to be together without having to sacrifice such a core part of who I am. However, he seems firm in his stance, saying that marrying outside of his faith isn’t something he’s willing to do. This has left me feeling torn because I don’t want to lose him, but I also don’t want to compromise my beliefs and values. Should I break up with him over this? -- A Way Forward

DEAR A WAY FORWARD: Sadly, couples often wait to talk about basic values late in their relationships even though things like religion are a key to their future together. For many followers of the Jewish faith, children are not Jewish unless their mother is Jewish, which is likely why your boyfriend is so adamant about you converting. He has made his stance clear. It is unlikely that he will change his mind, and if he does, he will likely resent you. If you are unwilling to convert to Judaism, he is showing you to the door. Free yourself to find a partner who accepts you for who you are.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I had a huge blowout argument. To defend myself, I told him that some of my friends have noticed his bad behavior and commented on it. Rather than apologizing for what he constantly says and does to demean me, he is now outraged at my friends and never wants to see them again. He has forbidden me from having them around, but I need them. They are my support system -- especially when my husband is in a rage. How do I handle this situation? -- At Odds

DEAR AT ODDS: Do you feel unsafe in your marriage? What is happening that has caused you to need to bring up your friends to your husband in defense of yourself? It is time for you to assess your marriage and determine whether you are in a relationship that is healthy. Couples go through ups and downs, but yours sounds like it could be more serious than a fleeting challenge. At a calm moment, try to get your husband to talk to you about your concerns -- without mentioning any friends’ names. Ask him if he is willing to work on these issues, whatever they are. Encourage him to go to counseling with you so that you can figure out ways to handle disagreements respectfully. If he refuses and still insists that you walk away from your friends, you should consider finding a safe way out of this relationship.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My in-laws’ 55th wedding anniversary is coming up soon, but unfortunately, my father-in-law passed away last year, so this will be my mother-in-law’s first anniversary without him. It’s been a tough year for her. She misses her husband, and their relationship was the foundation of her life. I know this day is going to be especially hard for her, and I’ve been thinking a lot about how I might be able to support her during this time.

To be honest, my mother-in-law and I haven’t always had the smoothest relationship. Over the years, we’ve had our share of differences, and it hasn’t always been easy to get along. But despite the ups and downs, I want to do something meaningful for her because I know how much she’s grieving. I’m just not sure of the best way to approach this, given our complicated history. I don’t want to overstep or make her uncomfortable, but at the same time, I feel like doing something special could help her feel loved and supported, especially on such a difficult day. Do you think it’s a good idea to plan something for her, or should I be more hands-off and let her grieve in her own way? -- Honoring My Mother-in-Law

DEAR HONORING MY MOTHER-IN-LAW: Start with your partner. Ask for their thoughts on how to be there for their mother at this tender time. Perhaps hosting a small dinner for her with close family would be appropriate. In an intimate setting, she may feel comfortable reminiscing about her husband. You can invite guests to think in advance of stories they would like to share about him, about the two of them or their own relationships with him. If you design a gathering that honors her and her memories, she may appreciate the gesture.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My guilty pleasure is watching facials on YouTube, often when I’m supposed to be working. I just love watching pimple extractions and other services that probably seem gross to other people. I have a friend who says she is addicted to watching kitchen demolitions, and I often catch my husband watching videos about yachts that he could never afford or aliens that he worries are taking over the world. My point is that people seem to spend their time distracted by some weird stuff. Is this unhealthy? It really does sometimes seem like an addiction. How can I curb this habit? -- Guilty Pleasures

DEAR GUILTY PLEASURES: We can add video games and binge-watching TV series to the list of things many people do obsessively. If you believe that your obsession is eating up too much of your time, that’s when it is a problem. Take action by setting a timer on your phone to remind you that after a designated period of time, you need to turn off the videos. Many smart devices can be set to turn those activities off and lock them until the next day. Set alarms for other tasks and responsibilities if that will aid in getting things done. Create hours when you agree to be device-free and take on other hobbies. Train yourself out of your addiction.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend and I are professional ballerinas, and we’ve been dancing together since high school. We’ve been through so much together -- the long rehearsals, the endless auditions, the excitement of landing roles and the disappointments. Ballet has been a huge part of our lives, and we’ve always shared that passion.

Recently, my friend dropped a bombshell: She wants to quit ballet. Ballet has been her life for as long as I can remember, so when she told me she’s thinking about leaving it all behind, I was shocked. Her reason is that she didn’t get the lead role in our most recent show, which she has been working her whole career to get. I know how much she wanted that part and that it was a big disappointment for her, but it breaks my heart to think one setback might cause her to give up something she’s been so dedicated to for all these years. I wonder if she’s just reacting out of frustration and hurt in the moment. I’ve seen how much ballet means to her, and I can’t imagine her life without it. How can I convince her to not give up her career and keep dancing? -- Quitter

DEAR QUITTER: Be a good listener right now. Let your friend experience the emotional crisis she is in without judgment. She is smarting from this loss. In time, she may realize this does not have to be a defining moment. If not, this could mark a turning point for her. She must decide. Don’t try to convince her of anything. Just love her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After 28 years of marriage, my sister is considering divorcing her husband. They’ve been struggling for a long time, and she’s reached a point where she feels that ending the marriage might be the best thing for her well-being and happiness. However, there’s a big part of her that’s hesitating, and it’s because this would be her second divorce. We live in a small town where people talk, and she’s afraid of the gossip that would come with another divorce. She doesn’t want to be judged or seen as someone who “failed” at marriage again, especially when she already went through the pain of a divorce many years ago. On top of that, she’s worried about how it will affect her three children, who are all in their late teens and early 20s. Even though they’re older now, she feels terrible about creating such a huge disruption in their lives. She’s torn between doing what she feels is best for her own happiness and staying in the marriage to avoid the scrutiny of others and to protect her kids from further emotional strain. Do you have any advice on how she can work through these conflicting emotions and make the best decision for herself and her family? -- Is This the End?

DEAR IS THIS THE END?: Your sister has to live her own life independent of people’s opinions. She should evaluate why she wants to leave now and whether her feelings are valid. Questions to consider include how she will afford to live on her own, where she will live, what support system she has in place and what her plans are for the future. Sometimes chapters end in our lives. If this is the end of this chapter, encourage her to handle it with dignity. She deserves to be happy and secure. The way she behaves will show her children how they can survive and thrive.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)