DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m the mother of a 16-year-old daughter who loves shopping and frequently goes out with her friends to the mall, the movies and various other places. Up until now, I’ve always paid for her extra experiences -- whether that’s her shopping sprees, lunches or outings with her friends. Financially, I can afford all of these things without issue, so it hasn’t been a problem to cover her extra spending. However, I’ve recently been thinking that maybe it’s time for her to get a part-time job and start learning to budget her own money for her personal spending. I want her to understand the value of hard work and how to manage her finances responsibly before she goes off to college or becomes more independent.

The tricky part is that some of my friends think I’m being too harsh. They’ve told me that if I can afford to support her financially, I should continue to do so, allowing her to enjoy her teenage years without the pressure of having to work. Am I being unreasonable or too strict by expecting her to start contributing toward her spending? -- Teen in Training

DEAR TEEN IN TRAINING: Your instincts are on point! Yes, your daughter should begin to learn the value of a hard-earned dollar. It is so easy to spend money without recognizing how hard it is to make it. Encourage her to work, save and budget what she has. With the money you give her, establish a weekly or monthly cap, and tell her she will need to learn to manage that money until the next installment. Talk to her about spending and saving. Use this as a learning opportunity, not a punishment.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband passed away from cancer 2 1/2 years ago. His death was devastating for me and my two daughters, who are now 12 and 15. In the time since his passing, I’ve done everything I can to support my girls through their grief while also trying to heal myself. About six months ago, after much thought and consideration, I decided to go on a date with a former co-worker I’ve always gotten along with. We hit it off, and we’ve been seeing each other ever since. He’s kind, supportive and understanding of my situation as a widow, which has been a huge comfort for me.

While I had been cautious about introducing him to my daughters, I felt that after six months of dating, the time had come to take that step. However, the introduction didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. When they met him for the first time last week, my daughters were incredibly rude and distant, barely speaking to him. Afterward, they told me they were upset, accusing me of trying to “replace” their dad. They were angry and hurt, and the whole encounter left me feeling deeply conflicted. How can I help my daughters accept this new chapter without making them feel like I’m disrespecting their father? -- Turning the Page

DEAR TURNING THE PAGE: Talk to your daughters about life today. As much as you miss their dad, he is gone, and all of you have to continue to live your lives. Dating someone is not disrespecting their dad’s memory; it is living. Be patient yet firm with them. Eventually, they will have to accept that you are a woman who deserves a relationship. It may take time, though.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My younger brother, who is only 12, recently came out as gay, and while I fully support him, my parents are struggling to accept it. They keep insisting it’s just a phase, and it’s heartbreaking to watch. I’ve tried having conversations with them about being more open-minded, but they seem resistant to the idea. I feel caught between wanting to stand by my brother and trying to help my parents understand, and it’s becoming really stressful. How can I help bridge this gap without alienating anyone in the family? -- Family Divide

DEAR FAMILY DIVIDE: Parents have their notions of who their children are and what they will become, but that’s not always the reality of what happens. In this case, your parents are struggling to accept that their son is different from their vision of him. It will likely take time for them to become open and welcoming of him, but they must in order for the family to remain healthy and for your brother to grow up with the support he needs. Encourage your parents to get help. It would benefit them greatly to talk to a therapist about how to support their son and create a safe space for him to talk to them about his life. At his age, he is just discovering who he is and how he wants to show up in the world. Their job is to support him. Your job can be to support them. Offer to be a sounding board when they are frustrated or unsure of what to do next. Share resources with them to give them tools to care for your brother. Until they start to come around, reassure your brother that you have his back and are always there to listen, even if you won't always have answers.

According to experts, some recommendations for supporting LGBTQ youth include: assuring your child that you love them no matter what, encouraging open dialogue, looking for signs of bullying, watching social media for signs of abuse or danger and getting the support of others who can have their back, too. For more ideas, visit hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/tips-for-parents-of-lgbtq-youth.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Your to “Online Forum Tips” was spot on for the immediate question of dealing with online advice for a beginning gardener, but I'd like to make an additional suggestion. Just about every state in the U.S. has a master gardener program run by the state agricultural extension office. These programs have content-intensive master gardening classes (many now completely online) that offer a wealth of information on a wide range of topics. Even better, once training is complete, enrollees may join their local master gardener association to earn full master gardener status by engaging in community volunteer activities. Members also receive continuing education at regular local association meetings and state-sponsored workshops. Master gardeners are notoriously welcoming and helpful to new members; it's a great way not only to learn more, but to enjoy fellowship with folks who share a passion for gardening. -- Master Gardner

DEAR MASTER GARDENER: You and several other readers chimed in with this valuable information. Thank you all so much for writing in. It is wonderful that our government runs these programs that support people who want to get involved in gardening. I hope more folks will take up this soothing, restorative hobby.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m feeling uneasy after a recent family dinner celebrating my brother-in-law’s birthday. During the gathering, I mentioned that my older sister, his wife, told me she was purposely avoiding losing weight because she doesn’t want to get pregnant. I didn’t mean to bring it up, but it’s clear my brother-in-law really wants to have a child now, and he seemed frustrated when I said that.

My other sister had a similar experience: She was overweight for years and was married for a decade without kids. After she lost weight, she got pregnant, and now her little one is turning 3. I thought I was sharing something insightful, but now I’m worried I might have caused tension in my older sister’s marriage. How can I help mend things between them and be more supportive moving forward? -- Worried Sibling

DEAR WORRIED SIBLING: Think before you speak. Being empathetic with your brother-in-law is fine. Sharing family secrets with him should be off-limits. That information would have been more useful for you to share with his wife, your sister, in case she changes her mind. But since she told you directly that she is avoiding having a baby, you should have stayed out of that conversation. It isn’t your business.

What you can do now is speak to your sister, tell her what you did and apologize for crossing the line. Moving forward, keep your mouth shut about sensitive personal topics.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My older brother is getting married soon, and I haven’t been included in much of the planning process. We used to be close. However, since he started dating his fiancee -- one of my classmates from high school -- we have grown apart. My future sister-in-law and I had no serious beef toward each other in high school.

It’s hard to watch my brother and his fiancee so happily involved in this wedding planning while I’m on the sidelines. Just last week, I saw a group photo of them with their wedding planner and friends, including some of our cousins, and it really hit me how distant we’ve become. I’m genuinely happy for him, but I can’t shake the hurt of being left out. How can I address this with him without seeming like an attention seeker? -- Left Out Sibling

DEAR LEFT OUT SIBLING: Invite your brother to get together with you. At your meeting, tell him how happy you are for him at this time of new beginnings. Ask him how everything is going, and listen so that you can contribute to the conversation in a meaningful way.

Next, tell him that you want to share your feelings with him. Express how distant you believe the two of you have become of late. Share that you want to continue to be close to him as he starts this next chapter, yet you feel that you are growing apart. Ask him if something happened to create tension between you and if he would like to stay close. If his response is vague, inquire as to whether his fiancee doesn’t want you around. You need to find out what’s going on -- and then work to mend it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)