DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been arguing a lot all year long, if I am honest. We have had a few screaming matches recently that ended up with me saying it was over unless we could get along better. Miraculously, my husband has been acting nicer -- nothing earth-shattering, but there have been fewer arguments and more pleasantness. Should I consider this to be enough to stay? Or at least to try to see if we can mend things? I am so tired of fighting and somewhat afraid to try again for fear of getting my feelings hurt for the thousandth time. He won’t go to therapy. -- Is It Enough?
Advertisement
DEAR IS IT ENOUGH?: Why don’t you pay attention to your interaction for the next few weeks? Choose to interact with him pleasantly, and encourage the behavior you want from him. Make the effort to meet him halfway. Suggest things to do that make you happy as well as activities he prefers. See what happens if you genuinely work to make things better. Assess the situation with him after a few weeks or months have passed. If you find yourselves falling into old negative patterns, stop and say something. Rather than retreating to separate corners, speak up and point out what has happened, and suggest that you both stop and regroup. Agree to work together on your relationship. If you can do that, you may be able to revive your joy.