DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been married for 10 years. When we first got together, he was active and in great shape. Over the years, he has gained a significant amount of weight, and his chronic obesity has now become a huge wedge in our relationship. I still love him deeply, but this drastic change in his health has impacted many aspects of our lives, and I find myself growing frustrated.
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One of the hardest parts is watching him struggle to play an active role in the lives of our two young sons. They’re energetic and full of life, always wanting to run around, play sports or simply spend time outdoors. Unfortunately, because of his weight, my husband often can’t keep up with them. What’s most frustrating is that I’ve tried to talk to him about his health, but he becomes defensive and shuts down the conversation. I’ve suggested we make lifestyle changes together, like cooking healthier meals, going for walks as a family or finding fun ways to get active, but he doesn’t seem motivated to make any lasting changes. How can I encourage him to take his health seriously without making him feel attacked? -- Fat Dad
DEAR FAT DAD: Have a serious conversation with your husband. Tell him you are worried about his health and the future of the family. Remind him of how much you need and love him and that he has demonstrated that he has significant limitations based on his current size. Encourage him to have a physical and talk to a doctor about his health. Assure him you don’t mean to be critical, but you do mean to save his life.