DEAR HARRIETTE: My 9-year-old daughter recently went over to her friend’s house for a playdate. She was so excited to spend time with her friend, and everything seemed fine when I dropped her off. However, when I went to pick her up, her friend’s mom pulled me aside and made a comment that really caught me off guard. She criticized my parenting style, specifically how my daughter behaved at dinner. Apparently, my daughter didn’t finish all of the food on her plate, and the mom felt that was incredibly rude and a sign of poor manners. She went on to say that in their household, children are expected to eat everything they’re served and suggested I should be more strict at home to instill better manners in my child.

I was honestly shocked. My daughter is generally polite, but like most kids, she can be picky sometimes -- especially when she’s at someone else’s house. I’ve never forced her to eat food she doesn’t like, and I don’t see this as a major issue. I was taken aback by the mom’s approach and felt judged, but I didn’t know how to respond in the moment. Was this mom out of line, or am I missing something about how my daughter should behave when she’s a guest in someone’s home? -- Bad Behavior

DEAR BAD BEHAVIOR: In my estimation, this friend’s mom crossed the line. While it is perfectly normal for families to have their ways of doing things -- including how they eat at the table -- when you have a guest, it is good manners to give them grace. Had your daughter misbehaved by saying something rude, physically hurting someone, cursing or doing something else egregious, I could see why the mom would need to call you out on it. But reprimanding you because your child didn’t eat every morsel on her plate seems extreme.

People have different values and ways of living. This is something your daughter will learn throughout her life. Your job now is to reinforce your values and let her know that she hasn’t violated a family rule by not eating all of the food on her plate. Further, you can tell the mother that, while you appreciate that she felt that she had to inform you of your daughter’s behavior, you strongly disagree with her. In your home, you do not force food down your daughter’s throat.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister was scratched by a stray cat. When I found out, I urged her to get the anti-rabies vaccine immediately. However, she refused, insisting it was just a minor scratch. I explained the importance of getting the vaccine as a precaution, but she didn’t think it was necessary. I reminded her of the potential risks, especially when dealing with stray animals. Despite my concerns, she continues to brush it off. Now, I’m at a loss because I’ve said everything I can to convince her. I just want her to stay safe. Please advise. -- Risk Ignored

DEAR RISK AVOIDED: My research suggests that the most important thing your sister should have done was to clean the wound and apply an over-the-counter antibiotic ointment, followed by monitoring the wound to see if it is healing or needs further attention. Apparently, both tetanus and rabies are rare in cat scratches, though it is possible to be impacted by whatever germs the cat is carrying. Encourage your sister to monitor her wound. If it gets worse, go to the doctor. For more information, go to animalreport.net/stray-cat-scratch-safety-guide.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: I had a baby three months ago, and now it’s time for me to go back to work. The thought of being away from my child is filling me with dread. I’ve used up all of my maternity leave and vacation time, so staying home longer isn’t an option through work. I love my career, but the idea of leaving my baby in someone else’s care feels overwhelming. I’ve been considering talking to my husband about quitting my job so I can stay home full-time and take care of our child. My husband makes enough to provide for the family, but it may be tight at times if we drop down to one income. I’m torn between wanting to be present for my baby and the fear of what this will mean for our financial stability and my career down the line.

How can I approach this conversation with my husband, and how do I make the best decision for both my family and myself? I want to be sure I’m not acting purely on emotion, but it’s so hard to think logically when I feel this strong pull to stay home with my baby. -- Baby Love

DEAR BABY LOVE: Maternal instinct is real and can be incredibly powerful. Do not ignore it. Talk to your husband about your feelings and concerns. Go over your budget, and discuss whether you can swing being home for a period of time and living on one income.

If you make this decision, you can think of different windows of time for going back to work. Kindergarten typically begins at age 5, though pre-K can start as early as 3. When your child goes to school, you can investigate extended care after school, which could allow you to work, perhaps not in your current field, but in something with more flexible hours.

Many mothers take off extended periods when their children are young. It can be a struggle to jump back into the workforce, but if you make a strategy now, it can help you down the line. Being open to other types of employment is key to expanding your options.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work at an electronics company where, during a lunch break, one of my co-workers mentioned plans to leave for a better-paying job at another company. I suspect that the co-worker is trying to influence others to leave as well. I feel conflicted about what to do. On one hand, I feel that management should know if there’s a potential risk of employees leaving. On the other hand, I worry about interfering in my co-workers' decisions and potentially damaging trust. I’m unsure if reporting the conversation is the right move. Should I tell my manager or mind my own business? -- Divided Loyalties

DEAR DIVIDED LOYALTIES: At the moment, it sounds like what you were listening to was employees batting about a few ideas -- nothing elevated enough to report to management. It is not your place to share what is basically gossip. If you get any indication that your co-workers are moving toward a group exodus, you can mention that discreetly. One employee leaving is part of the normal course of business, and grumbling with co-workers about the job is extremely common. Stay out of the fray as you continue to listen.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was in a clandestine relationship with a guy for most of this year. We hit if off after meeting on the street. We had a lot of fun together, but I always felt like I was putting forth more effort than him. One day I confronted him about not being more responsive, and he quipped back that if I wanted to be with him, I had to accept that he sometimes doesn’t turn on his phone and can go MIA -- too bad if I don’t like it. That’s how he is. I was taken aback by his comment. He accepted no responsibility for not being attentive. That’s when I stopped being as available to him.

Recently, I got fed up with him not answering my texts or calls for days on end and called it quits, but I realize that I miss him. We did have a lot of fun together when we were talking or in each other’s company. Should I reach out to him and ask to get together? I’m not sure if I can be OK with what he is willing to give since I am a little bit needy. Do you think I can get him to see the value in paying closer attention to me? -- Missing My Guy

DEAR MISSING MY GUY: Your letter brings up a lot of questions: Why was your relationship clandestine? Why did it have to be a secret? It seems that he was always elusive. You tolerated that for some time, but ultimately, it turned you off. What makes you think he will change if you go back? Has he demonstrated any behavior that shows you he is willing to adjust to make you happy?

If you are willing to accept him on his terms and be prepared to have fun with him when he is available, call him. Otherwise, cut your losses. He has shown you who he is. Believe him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a “friend” who contacts me only when she needs something. She will text or call, acting like she wants to check in on me and then, like clockwork, she almost immediately tells me about something that she is doing and how I can support her. I didn’t figure out her pattern for some time, but now it is obvious to me. Sometimes I don’t have a problem with it, as I like to help people, but it's clear now that she isn’t really a friend.

I’m having a party soon and making the guest list. It is not a large event -- mostly close friends. She is on the periphery of this group. I don’t really want to invite her, but I know she will find out about it. Should I add her to the list just to avoid hurt feelings? -- Guest List

DEAR GUEST LIST: If your party is for good friends, review the potential list of attendees and cross off anyone who doesn’t fit that category -- period. Why add her if she doesn’t deserve to be on the list? Unless you feel there is some political reason why you should invite her, don’t. You need to draw the line about who deserves to be in your inner circle.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)