DEAR HARRIETTE: There’s this guy I’ve been interested in for a while now. We have great chemistry, and every time we hang out, I find myself liking him more. The problem is, he’s already gone after three of my friends. Each time, he’s flirted with one of them or dated them briefly, and even though none of those relationships turned serious, it’s left me feeling conflicted. It makes me feel embarrassed and kind of foolish for still being interested in him, knowing he’s been involved with my friends.

I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something between us, but at the same time, I’m worried about what it says about him -- and about me! -- if I pursue something. Part of me feels like I should just move on and let it go, but then I wonder if I’m overthinking it. I don’t know if I’m putting too much weight on the fact that he’s dated my friends, or if it’s a red flag I should take seriously. How do I get past the embarrassment I’m feeling? Should I be concerned about his past with my friends, or should I just focus on my own feelings and see where things go? -- Too Close for Comfort

DEAR TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT: How close are you to the friends he has dated? Seems to me you might ask one of them what happened when they dated. If you feel comfortable, reveal that you have liked him for a while and you want to see if there’s any chance for the two of you, but you are apprehensive given that you have noticed that he has dated people in your friend group. Yes, you risk not keeping your feelings a secret, but it could be worth it to find out any details about how this guy behaves when dating others.

Pay attention to the feedback you get. If you do decide to pursue him, you can also ask him -- when the time is right -- what didn’t work when he dated other women you know. But that’s for later.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This girl at school, “Lina,” wanted to create gossip in the community by spreading false information about my sister being pregnant without a father. The problem is that my sister is neither pregnant nor does she have a boyfriend. Lina is just trying to stir up drama because I was unable to lend her some money. It seems like she wants to damage my sister's reputation and damage our bond. I feel frustrated and hurt by her actions. I want to confront her, but I'm not sure how to approach the situation. It's important to address the issue without escalating the conflict. I need to find a way to protect my sister and set boundaries with Lina. -- Damaging Falsehoods

DEAR DAMAGING FALSEHOODS: It is not possible to control rumors. Sadly, the more salacious they are, the more quickly they spread. Speak directly to Lina. Tell her if she doesn’t stop with the lies, you will tell your community why she is doing this. She would be embarrassed for your peer group to know that she is lashing out because you wouldn’t lend her money. Ask her to stop with the mean-spirited stories about your sister -- or else. Be prepared to tell the truth to key people in your friend group if that’s the only want to get her to stop.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I love my mom, but I just can’t trust her with any sensitive information. Every time I share something personal or private, she turns around and tells my family, her friends and even acquaintances, and it’s incredibly frustrating. For example, I’ll confide in her about something going on in my life, and the next time I see a relative or one of her friends, they’ll start asking me about it. It’s awkward and upsetting because it’s often information I never wanted these people to know. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve had to become selective about what I share with my mother. I hate feeling like I have to filter everything I say or keep her at a distance just to maintain my privacy. I’m 29 years old, and I feel like I should be able to have a trusting relationship with my mom where I can share things without worrying that she’ll broadcast it to everyone. I don’t know how to get her to stop doing this without hurting her feelings or creating a bigger issue between us. I don’t want to completely shut her out, but I also need to protect my personal boundaries. How do I address this with her in a way that will get her to understand why I’m upset? -- Can’t Keep a Secret

DEAR CAN’T KEEP A SECRET: There is no gentle way to handle this. You have to be direct with your mother. Tell her that you have discovered that when you share confidences with her, she consistently tells other people, and you consider this to be a violation of trust. Explain that you love her and want her counsel and just to have her as a safe space to vent, but you fear that whatever you tell her will not be kept in confidence. Give her a couple of examples of things you have told her that have come back to you from specific people so that she knows what you’re talking about.

She will surely apologize profusely and promise never to violate your privacy again. The reality, though, is that she probably will because it’s who she is. This means that in the future, you should refrain from telling her anything that you truly want to be kept confidential.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend “Nina” and her boyfriend had a baby while they both were underage. They fought against their parents to stay together and protect their love. However, the boyfriend eventually had an affair with another girl. Despite this, Nina’s parents now want her to give the relationship another chance. Nina, on the other hand, is hesitant because she feels he has hurt her many times. The boyfriend has even said he won’t support their child unless she takes him back. What should Nina do? -- Broken Trust

DEAR BROKEN TRUST: Young love with a baby can be tough to navigate. While Nina should not feel she has to tolerate infidelity, she may want to give the relationship a second chance -- with certain boundaries in place. She and her baby’s father should talk through their issues and think about the future of their child and their relationship. If they can establish ground rules to follow, Nina can give him a chance. If not, she may need to take him to court to provide for their child if they are apart.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am still friends with my high school besties, “Erica” and “Celine.” Erica became a registered nurse and moved abroad for work, while Celine is working in Dubai and enjoying a good life, even though she hasn't finished college. I have a master's degree in business administration, but I'm currently unemployed and waiting for responses from the jobs I applied for. I'm also overweight and feeling like there's no progress in my life. What advice can you give me to avoid feeling jealous and instead be happy for what they have achieved in their lives? -- Stagnant Frustration

DEAR STAGNANT FRUSTRATION: Stop comparing yourself to your friends. Each of you has your own life filled with potential and frustration. Their lives look exciting to you from the outside -- and they may be. But your life is your own, and it is your job to design it as best you can.

It can be extremely challenging to stay positive when you are unemployed. It sounds like you are feeling stuck. To keep up your spirits and care for yourself, consider starting some kind of exercise routine. Taking a walk each day could help clear your head and motivate your brain to think outside the box. What do you really want to do with your life? Think big and then write down ideas for manifesting those dreams. Give yourself a timeline for reaching goals. This can help you stay inspired in this space of uncertainty.

Do your best to drown out the noise of comparison. Focus on your potential, and talk to people who are your cheerleaders.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in love with a boy who has been courting me for a long time, but we come from different religions. In my faith, it's important for my partner to join our church, and he initially agreed to attend with me. However, I’ve realized that his main reason for going is to be with me, not out of genuine interest in my beliefs. Now I feel torn because I love him deeply, but I don’t want him to convert just for my sake. I want him to believe in my faith for his own reasons, not as a condition of our relationship. Letting him go feels painful, but I also worry about the spiritual differences that could cause problems in the future. Should I choose him and hope things work out, or is it better to let him go? -- Faith Conflict

DEAR FAITH CONFLICT: You seem to be getting what you asked for. You love this person, and he loves you enough to join your faith. Obviously, it will take time for him to become fully immersed in your spiritual world. If you want to be with him, welcome him and have patience. Will he ever be as ensconced as you? Who knows. But you can’t ask more of him than what he’s doing. He is making the effort to be in alignment with your values. Be grateful for that, and help him to find his comfort zone. Also, be ready to accept that he may never be as involved as you. That may be just fine.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)