DEAR HARRIETTE: I know that gadgets are relevant today, but they can be harmful to our health, especially for our kids. I am trying to figure out how to balance this by giving my 4-year-old daughter just one hour of screen time each day. However, she sometimes exceeds this limit because I get busy and don't monitor her usage as closely as I should.

Recently, my daughter had a tantrum when I took away her tablet. To create a healthier balance for her, could I establish a consistent daily routine that includes set times for screen use, alongside engaging nonscreen activities like outdoor play or crafts? What other strategies would you suggest to limit screen time effectively? -- Digital Distractions

DEAR DIGITAL DISTRACTIONS: It takes discipline on your side to enforce healthy screen use for your child. The good news is that you can engage the device to support you. Many smart devices have built-in controls that can limit the amount of time they are operable, regardless of whether you are watching your daughter. You can tell your daughter that she has 30 minutes or an hour to play on the device, after which it will automatically shut off. If she sees that the device stops working without your intervention, it may be harder for her to keep up her tantrum as you do not seem to be directly controlling it.

More important, let her know that there are times to use the devices and times when she has to do something else. Keep games, books and other engaging materials handy so that she always has something to do. Know that there are quite a few apps that can help you to manage your child’s screen time, including bark.us and quostodio.com. There are also printouts that you can post to help you and your child manage her screen time together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend “Rica” and I both love the same man. She has known him since high school, so they have a history together. I can see he has feelings for Rica, and I believe she’s only pretending not to like him because of me. It’s painful watching the two of them hold back, knowing they might be happier if I stepped aside, yet I can't deny my own feelings for him -- they run deep. I wonder if holding on to him is selfish, or if my love could mean something to him, too. Should I let them be together, or should I fight for my love for him? -- Bittersweet Dilemma

DEAR BITTERSWEET DILEMMA: Why not talk directly to the man? Be upfront with him about your feelings and your observations. Tell him that you believe there could be a future for the two of you, but it is obvious that Rica cares deeply for him, too. Ask him what he wants. Be clear that you are not willing to share, but you are willing to step aside if he chooses her. Make your decision after you check in with him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and my son is about to leave for his mission to Argentina for the next two years. While I am proud of him and his decision to serve, the thought of him being so far away for so long is really hard for me. We’ve always been close, and I’ve watched him grow into such a compassionate, thoughtful young man. The idea of not having him around and having minimal contact with him, especially knowing he’ll be facing new challenges in a foreign country, fills me with a mixture of pride, worry and sadness.

I want to be supportive and show him how much I believe in him, but I can’t shake this overwhelming sense of loss. I know this is a big part of our faith and many families go through this, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I’m worried about how I’ll cope with his absence and how to fill the void that he’ll be leaving. How can I find peace with him leaving and stay strong for both of us? -- On Mission

DEAR ON MISSION: Surround yourself with other parents whose children are on mission. Find solace in talking to them about your hopes, dreams and worries. It is natural for you to feel some anxiety about your child going so far away for so long, especially since you two are so close. The good news is that you know he is in good hands. He will not be alone. He will receive guidance from the leadership there.

You can stay in touch, albeit not the ways in which we have grown comfortable in this cellphone age. Figure out the frequency with which you two can communicate. Are you allowed to speak by phone or text? Can you begin a letter-writing relationship? That could be beautiful for now and as memories in the future.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I once dreamed of having a baby together someday. When I found out I was pregnant, we immediately went to the hospital to confirm it. My boyfriend and I were so happy with the news that I thought this would make our relationship grow stronger, but the exact opposite happened.

He became distant and irritable, arguing with me constantly and stressing me out, unable or unwilling to understand the changes I was going through because of my pregnancy. Then something terrible happened: I had a miscarriage. He blamed me for the loss, and without any compassion, he left me completely alone in my grief. What should I do? Should I find him, or should I stay away because it’s already a toxic relationship? -- Broken Bonds

DEAR BROKEN BONDS: It seems that both of you struggled through the pregnancy and the aftermath of the miscarriage for different reasons. Your boyfriend clearly does not know how to process his feelings, including the grief of losing a child. While you may not want to reunite with him, it could be valuable to have a conversation where each of you shares what you have been experiencing.

Reach out to him directly or through his friends to say you would like to talk without the expectation of reuniting. If he responds, make the effort to work through what happened and how you are dealing with it. If he does not respond, it is time for you to pivot. You cannot force anyone to deal with their life’s circumstances. Recovering from a miscarriage can be difficult. Tend to yourself and move on.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend keeps telling others about my private business, and it’s starting to feel like a real betrayal. I recently started seeing someone new, and because my friend and I are very close, I shared the news with her. I was excited to tell her, and I trusted her to keep it between us. But almost immediately, I started hearing from other friends and even some casual acquaintances asking me about the new guy I’m seeing! It’s frustrating because I’m still getting to know him, and I wanted to keep things quiet until I felt more comfortable and surer about the relationship.

I feel like my privacy has been invaded, and I’m beginning to question whether I can trust her with other personal things. I know she probably didn’t mean any harm and was just excited for me, but this has really bothered me, especially because it’s not the first time she’s done something like this. How should I confront her about this? I value our friendship, but I also need her to respect my boundaries and understand how important privacy is to me. -- Violated

DEAR VIOLATED: Your friend has previously proven to you that she cannot keep confidence. Since you know that, you cannot be mad at her now for acting in a way she has already demonstrated that she acts. Is this sad? Yes, since you want to have someone to tell your secrets. But she has shown you that she cannot be trusted to do that. If you want to have a close friend with whom you can tell such intimacies, you have to seek out someone else.

Sure, you can reprimand your friend and tell her how disappointed you are that she violated your confidence. She will apologize and promise not to do it again, but the chances are great that she will, because this is what she does. Instead, enjoy your guy, and enjoy your friend for who she is, but keep your eyes open for a new friend who may be better at keeping secrets.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is 17 years old and an incredibly talented ballerina. She has dedicated countless hours to her training, and it’s clear she has the potential to pursue dance as a career if she chooses. She absolutely loves dancing; it’s her passion and something that lights her up. Still, as her mother, I’m increasingly worried about the toxic aspects of the dance world. Recently, her coach began making comments about her needing to be thinner if she ever wants to go professional, and I can see how these remarks are affecting her. She’s already so disciplined with her diet and exercise, and I fear that focusing on her weight could lead to harmful habits or damage her self-esteem. I don’t want her to compromise her health or sense of self-worth for the sake of meeting someone else’s unrealistic standards. At the same time, I know that dance is competitive, and that certain pressures come with the industry.

I want to support her dreams, but I’m torn between encouraging her and protecting her from a potentially harmful environment. How can I help her through these pressures without ruining her love for ballet? -- Ballet Worries

DEAR BALLET WORRIES: Encourage your daughter to eat in a healthy manner and tend to her body. Do not discourage her from her passion -- it wouldn’t work, anyway. Pay attention, and if you notice unhealthy behaviors, gently talk to her about her choices. Her field is a tough one for body image. With your support, hopefully she will make smart choices along the way. As her interest in this career develops, it might be worth asking her doctor about healthy eating choices for ballerinas.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)