DEAR HARRIETTE: It’s been a month since I lost my dad, and it's been hard for me and especially my mom. He was the provider for our family -- both financially and emotionally -- and he always taught us to strive to be better every day. Now that he’s gone, I feel as though a huge part of me is missing, and I’m struggling to process the grief. Every day feels like a challenge, and I often find myself overwhelmed with emotions. Some days, it feels like I can’t move forward, while on others, the weight of the pain is unbearable.

I want to be strong for my family, but inside I feel lost and uncertain about how to cope. I know I need help, but I’m not sure where to start or how to even take that first step toward healing. I’m constantly trying to stay strong, but it’s exhausting. Any advice on how I can cope with my emotions and take small steps toward healing would mean the world to me right now. -- Coping With Grief

DEAR COPING WITH GRIEF: Your wound is still fresh. Give yourself time to heal. Mental health professionals believe that there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance; no matter what, people have to go through all of them. While we know that death is inevitable for all of us, that reality doesn’t make it easier when it happens to someone close to you. Allow yourself to experience whatever you are feeling.

It’s also important to get help. You can find a grief counselor through your house of worship, your primary care doctor’s referral or even through your insurance company. If you are ever feeling suicidal, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline/National Crisis Hotline at 800-273-8255. You do not have to experience this alone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is constantly asking to borrow things from me. It started off small, like asking for a phone charger or a sweater, but now it’s escalated to bigger things like $300 loans or valuable items that are hard to replace. She always promises she’ll pay me back or return whatever she borrowed, but more often than not, I never see the item or money again. It’s frustrating because I feel like I’m being taken advantage of, but I don’t know how to handle it. Every time she asks, I find myself saying yes, even when I don’t want to, because I hate confrontation and feel terrible about saying no. I don’t want to ruin our 10-year friendship, but I’m starting to feel resentful. How can I set boundaries with her without coming across as selfish or damaging our relationship? How do I get her to understand that it’s not OK to keep borrowing without returning what she owes? -- Hand Out

DEAR HAND OUT: Your first step should be learning to say NO! You must do it. If you can muster the courage to say why, fine. If not, just say no. No, you can’t lend the money this time. No, she can’t borrow the sweater. No to whatever the request is. Eventually, she may ask why. That’s when you can explain that the "sharing" has always been a one-way relationship where you give and she takes. You’re done with that.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a woman in my 20s, and lately, my self-esteem has taken a serious plunge. Just a year ago, I felt confident, vibrant and happy with who I was. Recently, though, things have shifted, and I find myself constantly comparing myself to other women, whether it’s their looks, careers or social lives. It feels like I can’t measure up, no matter what I do, and these comparisons have been taking a massive toll on my mental health.

I’ve tried to combat these feelings of comparison by focusing on self-care. I’ve gotten haircuts, treated myself to facials and even kept up with getting my nails done. While these things temporarily make me feel a little better, the confidence never seems to stick. The moment I’m back on social media or surrounded by people, I feel inadequate again. I know confidence is supposed to come from within, but I feel so stuck. How do I stop this endless cycle of comparison and learn to feel good about myself again? -- Insecure

DEAR INSECURE: In this age of social media, it can seem impossible to not compare yourself to others for a million reasons. You may want to pause using social media in all forms. Focus on you and what interests you. Figure out what is fun for you, and do more of that. Scrutinize your relationships and decide to spend time only with positive people. You don’t have to say anything to the people who are naysayers or braggarts; just stop hanging out with them.

Also consider therapy. A professional can help you dive deeper into your own life to help you examine the root causes for your insecurity. That support may help you gain coping skills that can keep you feeling strong, no matter what comes your way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: An old friend of mine recently passed away. As I have been trying to help the family coordinate some details, I realized that I was no longer friends with him on social media. We had a falling out years ago, and he must have blocked me. I have since learned that other former friends had been blocked, too. It seems like he held a grudge against a number of us toward the end of his life. I feel so conflicted over this. I loved him as a friend for years, but now I’m feeling dissed all over again. I don’t want to harbor bad feelings about him, but this is making me sad. How can I handle this compounded grief? -- In Agony

DEAR IN AGONY: My best recommendation is to hold on to the good memories you have of your friend and forgive him for whatever else occurred. It is sad that you and others experienced negativity with this person, but there is nothing you can do about it now. To heal from this loss and all that it means to you will take time and tenderness. Do your best not to get caught up in bashing him with the others who are feeling hurt. Stay positive, and allow forgiveness to be your salve.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I have not spoken for a few months, and I’m really heartbroken over it. We’ve always been close, but an argument has driven us apart. The fight started because she feels like I never let her finish speaking when we have conversations. I admit that I can get excited or passionate when we’re talking, and sometimes I interrupt without realizing it. I never meant to hurt her. It seems like this has been bothering her for a long time, and now it’s driven a wedge between us.

I thought the holidays would be the perfect time to patch things up. I was hopeful that spending time together with family would soften things between us and give us a chance to talk. I tried to approach her and let her know I wanted to make amends, but she didn’t seem open to it. She was polite but distant, and it was clear she wasn’t ready to reconcile. I don’t want to keep pushing and risk making things worse, but I also don’t want to give up on our relationship. How can I show her that I’m willing to listen and change without pressuring her? -- Sister in Exile

DEAR SISTER IN EXILE: You may just have to give your sister time. If you have been dismissing and interrupting her over an extended period of time, she has every right to doubt that you can or will change. Consider writing her a letter and expressing your remorse. Tell her how much you miss her and want to make amends. Admit that you know you can be inattentive when it comes to communicating respectfully with her, and you are deeply sorry. Promise to make a concerted effort to listen more actively and give her space to talk. Ask for her forgiveness, and then wait.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently rekindled my passion for knitting, something I loved as a child thanks to my grandma. I took it up again as a way to relax, but I’m struggling to complete my first project. I keep making mistakes and end up unraveling my work repeatedly, which feels so discouraging. While I enjoy the idea of creating handmade items, the slow progress has me questioning if I’m cut out for this hobby. I want to improve my skills and feel proud of my creations, but perfectionism keeps holding me back. I need to find a way to embrace the process and learn from my mistakes while finding joy in knitting. -- Knitting Challenges

DEAR KNITTING CHALLENGES: Don’t give up. Knitting is supposed to be meditative and soothing, and it can be -- once you get into a groove.

Yes, you have to learn first. Go online and find knitting tutorials that you can follow to perfect the stitches. The audiobook “Knitting for Beginners” by Nancy Gordon might be helpful to you.

Find a local yarn shop and see if they offer classes. Some shops have knitting tables where customers come to build fellowship as they knit -- and they often help each other along the way.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)