DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been feeling overwhelmed at work. I was hired as support for one team but have now been expected to regularly cover two large teams. I sometimes find myself struggling to efficiently and seamlessly complete tasks for my main team while juggling tasks on both ends. Per my year-end review, I think my manager noticed a shift in my attitude in the office and with my colleagues (specifically, that I've been less social and much more uptight). As a result, my manager let me know that if I would prefer to support only the team I was originally hired for, I just need to let them know, and they’ll begin looking for another hire.

This feels like an impossible decision. I can’t help but feel like neither scenario is a win. If I say I no longer want to support both, it appears as though I am not able to handle more (even though this is a company I’m looking to grow with). If I continue to let the strenuous weight of the second team impede my performance with the first team, I will appear incompetent anyway. What would you do? -- How To Grow

DEAR HOW TO GROW: Refresh your attitude with a winner’s mindset. Study the duties you now have, and look for ways to streamline the work or enlist support. Seek out solutions and recommend them to your boss as you clearly demonstrate that you are willing and able to do what it takes to succeed, even if that means delegating some of the work. Give yourself a timeline for showing your boss that you are a team player and a creative problem solver. Ask for help when you need it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been living in New York City for the past five years. We initially moved here for the career opportunities and the exciting, vibrant lifestyle that the city offers. My husband finds the fast-paced lifestyle exhausting and feels like it’s starting to take a toll on his mental and physical health. He’s been expressing a strong desire to leave the city and move somewhere quieter and slower-paced where we could settle down and eventually start a family. While I completely understand and respect his feelings, I find myself hesitant to leave.

For me, NYC isn’t just where we live; it’s where I feel most alive. I love the energy, the diversity and the endless things to do, and the idea of raising kids here doesn’t bother me at all. I think it could actually be a great place for them to grow up with so many cultural and educational opportunities. I worry that moving to a smaller town or suburb might leave me feeling stifled and disconnected. I’m torn between staying in a city that I love and prioritizing my husband's happiness and our shared goals for the future. How do we deal with such a difference in perspective? -- Where To Live

DEAR WHERE TO LIVE: It is possible to live close to NYC without being in the center of the hustle and bustle. Start in the outer boroughs where there are quiet neighborhoods, or venture further into other areas in the state that provide good public schools and healthy neighborhoods. In this way, you can be city-adjacent, maintaining a family presence on the periphery, but remain easily able to pop into the city for special occasions.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a sister who is 20 years younger than I am. I’m 30, and she’s only 10 years old. Because of this huge age gap, we’ve never really had a chance to bond or develop a close relationship. While I love her dearly, every time it’s just the two of us, the conversation feels forced and awkward. I don't think either of us is necessarily to blame. She's so much younger, and we’re at completely different stages in life, but it leaves me feeling sad and disconnected.

I go to visit her and my parents often so that we have plenty of opportunities to become closer, but sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever have the kind of sibling bond I’ve seen other people enjoy with their brothers or sisters. I want to find ways to relate to her better and make her feel comfortable around me, but I don’t know where to start. She’s my only sibling, and the thought of us not being close upsets me. How can I help us become closer in our relationship so that we have a stronger bond in the future? -- Sibling Disconnect

DEAR SIBLING DISCONNECT: Your sister is a child, and you do not live together, so you will not have much in common now. Don’t look for that. Instead, be with her when you are together. Listen to her. Invite her to share her world with you. Find out what interests her. Try to remember what you cared about at her age. Share appropriate connecting stories as you remember them.

Expose her to your world. What do you like to do that might interest her? Arts activities, music, books? Show her who you are as she does the same for you. Allow your relationship to grow naturally. She may seem more like a daughter or niece than a sister for a few years, but that’s fine too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m 8 1/2 months pregnant, and my husband and I are arguing about who should be allowed in the delivery room when I give birth. I want only my sister and my mom there along with my husband. He’s the only male I feel comfortable having in the room. My husband, however, has a completely different idea. He wants his mom, dad, sister and even his grandma in the room. To me, that’s just way too many people, and I’m not very close with his family.

I’ve tried to explain that giving birth is an intimate experience and that I need to feel as comfortable and supported as possible. I don’t think he fully understands how exposed and emotional I’ll feel during labor. For him, it seems more about making sure his family doesn’t feel left out, but for me, it’s about creating a safe and calm environment. I want to respect his feelings and include his family in other meaningful ways, but I feel strongly about having only the people I’m most comfortable with in the delivery room. How can we resolve this in a way that respects both of our perspectives without adding unnecessary stress during such an important time? -- Delivery Room

DEAR DELIVERY ROOM: Ask your doctor to speak to your husband to explain optimal conditions for the health and safety of mom and baby. This should help to reinforce that only the smallest group possible should be present. Put your foot down on this -- it is one decision where the dad does not to get to have a say. Invite his family to stay in the waiting room until your baby is born.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m in a difficult situation with one of my friends, and I don’t know how to handle it. Recently, they cheated on a school exam and got caught. To my surprise, my friend is now accusing me of being involved even though I worked hard and studied diligently for the test. I’ve always prided myself on putting in the effort, staying up late and doing everything I can to achieve good results honestly. But now, because of my friend’s actions, I’m being dragged into a situation I had no part in.

It hurts that my hard work and dedication are being questioned, and even worse, that my friend is trying to shift the blame onto me. I’ve tried to stand my ground and make it clear that I had nothing to do with their cheating, but I’m still feeling the weight of their accusation. I’ve always valued honesty, and it’s frustrating to be linked to something that goes against everything I believe in. -- False Accusations

DEAR FALSE ACCUSATIONS: To clear your name, go to the school authorities and plead your case. Be detailed in describing how you approached the exam. Offer to take it again or to take another exam to prove your knowledge. Admit that the person in question is your friend, but stand fast in declaring that you did not have any knowledge of their cheating. Assure the school leadership that you had nothing to do with this, nor are you comfortable with it now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve always believed in working hard, pouring my energy into providing for my family. I’ve been married for five years, and my wife and I have two children. She stays at home now and cares for them full time. Every day, I push myself, juggling responsibilities and giving my all so that they have everything they need. I’m the breadwinner, and I understand the weight that comes with that role, but there are times when it feels like none of it is truly appreciated. It’s as if they see it as my duty, my obligation, and forget the sacrifices I make because they don’t see them directly. They think it’s just what I’m supposed to do, not realizing the toll it takes on me. It’s hard feeling unseen, especially when you give everything and still feel like you’re not being valued for the effort. -- Unappreciated Efforts

DEAR UNAPPRECIATED EFFORTS: Chances are, your wife feels overwhelmed as well. Being a stay-at-home mom takes a tremendous amount of energy and focus as well. Sounds like the two of you need to talk about responsibilities and duties and come to an understanding of what is required for your family. You both need to be able to see what the other is contributing and that all is valuable. Tell your wife how you are feeling and let her know that sometimes you feel unsupported. Leave space for her to reflect those same feelings back to you.

Agree to appreciate each other more and to take time to express your gratitude regularly.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)