DEAR HARRIETTE: I threw my 2-year-old daughter a birthday party last week and invited my husband’s family and my family. I was so excited to have everyone together to celebrate, but the day quickly turned stressful when our mothers got into a heated argument. It started as a few passive-aggressive comments, but it escalated when my mother-in-law made a remark about how she spends more time with my daughter and knows her routine better. My mom fired back, saying she’s just as much of a grandmother and doesn’t need to compete for affection. Before I knew it, they were going back and forth, bringing up old grievances and accusing each other of being the “worse” grandmother. They completely lost sight of the fact that this was supposed to be a joyful day for our little girl.

The tension became so unbearable that some guests left early. Now both of them are acting like they were the victim, expecting my husband and me to take their side. How can I set boundaries with our mothers and ensure my daughter’s special moments aren’t overshadowed by their issues? -- Too Much Bickering

DEAR TOO MUCH BICKERING: Together, you and your husband should reach out to each of your mothers and express your profound disappointment in their behavior at your daughter’s party. Remind them that the party was for her, and their focus should have been on her happiness. Instead, you watched them derail the party with their petty competition. Tell them that if they expect to spend time with their granddaughter in the future, they have to stop, figure out a way to make up with each other and behave civilly moving forward.

When they try to deflect and blame the other grandmother for the incident, stand firmly and say that you saw it all and know it was both of them. They must stop now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few months ago, I was dating a guy I really liked. We got along well; we had great conversation and similar values, and I genuinely saw potential for something serious. Then, out of nowhere, he completely ghosted me. No explanation, no closure -- he just stopped calling and texting. I was hurt and confused, especially since things had been going so well. Now, out of the blue again, he’s reached out, acting like nothing happened. He says he’s been busy and that he regrets how things ended. From what I can tell, he’s doing really well career-wise, and part of me wonders if he’s in a better place to be in a relationship now.

I still have feelings for this man, but I can’t ignore how disrespectful it was for him to disappear like that. Should I hear him out and see if things could be different this time, or is it a mistake to let someone back into my life who treated me that way? -- Can I Trust Him?

DEAR CAN I TRUST HIM?: Before resuming a relationship with this guy, find out what happened. Don’t let him off the hook. Why did he disappear? Did he have another girlfriend? What obligations took him away? Why did he think it was acceptable to ghost you without a word of explanation? You deserve to know what happened. Otherwise, you will be showing him that even when he treats you wrong, you will still take him back.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the mother of a wonderful, bright and kindhearted 10-year-old daughter who is autistic. She is creative and has a deep passion for animals and art, but she struggles with social interactions. Making friends has never been easy for her, and now that she’s in a new school, it seems even harder. She tells me often that other kids don’t understand her or that she feels left out. She wants friends but doesn’t always pick up on social cues, and I worry that she might be getting unintentionally excluded. It breaks my heart to see her come home disappointed when she tries to join in but isn’t welcomed.

I try to encourage my daughter and give her advice, but I can tell she’s starting to feel discouraged. I want to help her build friendships without making her feel like she needs to change who she is. How can I help her through these social issues? -- Need a Friend

DEAR NEED A FRIEND: Speak to your child’s teacher and guidance counselor for starters. Find out if they have any support at school for children who are not quick to make friends. Some schools offer accommodations to help students ease into life in and outside the classroom.

Don’t rely solely on school, though. Foster relationships with other people in your child’s life. If she has cousins or neighbors who enjoy spending time with her, set up playdates. If there are children in her class she likes, invite them over to play, thereby creating a more intimate setting in which to bond.

Consider working with a therapist to help your child develop a keener sense of human dynamics as she continues to grow. For more ideas on making friends, visit learnbehavioral.com/blog/five-steps-to-help-your-child-with-autism-make-friends.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friendship that feels very one-sided. I am there for him, but when I need him, he is usually unavailable. That’s so weird because right now he’s out of work. Yet, too often I find myself reaching out and waiting hours or even days before he hits me back. When I say something about it, he says that’s just how he is: He doesn’t always look at his phone or some such excuse. On the flip side, if he needs me, I always pick up the phone and do my best to respond quickly. I’m beginning to feel used. When I say something about it, he acts like I’m making a big deal out of nothing. He says I’m exaggerating. How can I get him to understand how I’m feeling and be more attentive? -- Iced Out

DEAR ICED OUT: Read the tea leaves. This person is not showing you the love and attention that you want. Stop trying to make him do more for you. Let go. Seriously! Stop responding immediately when he reaches out to you. He doesn’t deserve to have your undivided attention if he cannot offer you the same.

That being said, you should know that some people really are less engaged with their devices than others. You can't force him to look at his phone more often, but you can temper your own expectations about how quickly he'll notice a text. Pleading with him to be more present only looks like desperation, and that is a guaranteed repellent.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My youngest sister is in the process of applying and being accepted to colleges -- for the second time. She’s had some trouble in the past in terms of staying focused and prioritizing her degree and her education, and now as she’s applying to get back into college, she’s constantly consulting her friends. I won’t pass judgment on any of her friends because I don’t really know their track records all that well, but I worry that she is more concerned with going to the same school as friends than with using college as an opportunity to learn new things, meet new people and explore herself more. Having friends going through the same things as you can be great, but I don’t want her to be too dependent on others or use friends as a crutch out of fear. I don’t want to come off as controlling. I just don’t want to see her get distracted from another great opportunity. -- College Influences

DEAR COLLEGE INFLUENCES: Talk to your sister more, and offer to help her through the application process. Ask her what she wants to study and what she wants to do with her life. Encourage her to select schools that specialize in her interests as her top priority. In this way, she can prepare herself for her future.

Without being too judgy, point out that if it works for her to attend college with her friends, that’s fine, but it should not be her priority. Each person has a destiny, and now is the time to start determining what hers is. Remind her that being attached to her current friends is not necessarily part of it. You can tell her that many people who grow up together remain close even if they go to different schools, live in other cities and follow different paths. She doesn’t have to worry that she will lose her friends as she makes smart choices for her life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Your response to “Sad Journalist,” the reader who was contemplating switching careers and going to law school, was good, but it didn't address the writer's concern about being a "40-year-old first-year lawyer." Take it from a (now retired) 42-year-old first-year accountant: Second careers can be highly successful and very fulfilling. Don't let the fact that all the other first-year lawyers are nearly 20 years younger concern you. In fact, you may find other first-year professionals starting their second -- or even third -- careers. -- Been There, Done That and So Happy I Did

DEAR BEEN THERE, DONE THAT AND SO HAPPY I DID: Thank you for sharing your experience. You are absolutely right. I meet so many people who are transitioning from one profession into another. It used to be that people had a job or career, it lasted for 40 years and they got a gold watch. Not so anymore. It is relatively common for people to pivot at different points in their lives. There’s no shame in that! Plus, the experience that you have gained along the way in other areas will support you in your new role.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)