DEAR HARRIETTE: I am struggling right now, emotionally and financially. My tenants haven’t paid their rent in months! I try to remain passive about it, as I am relying on the legal system to settle this issue, but my son is infuriated. Every day we see our tenants get dressed, head to work, bring home groceries, order takeout, host guests and game nights and so much more. They are rude to us when we cross paths. They seem to have no shame about not paying, and the more arrogant they are toward us, the harder it is to temper my son’s rage. How can I get him to recognize how critical it is for him to get a handle on his demeanor? I don’t want to give anyone any reason to sympathize with or justify our tenants’ behavior. -- Overstayed Welcome

DEAR OVERSTAYED WELCOME: First, you must be sure to provide formal written notice of the amount of rent that is overdue and give a deadline by which it must be paid. Be sure to save copies of all correspondence you send them. If they do not pay by the deadline, consult a lawyer about how to initiate eviction proceedings.

If you do not want to go the eviction route, create a plan of attack. Contact the police and document the crime your tenants are committing in not paying rent. Get on the record. Reach out to local media -- call the newspapers and TV and radio stations -- and out these people for the criminals they are. Create a sincere social media blast that describes in detail what these people have been doing and what the impact has been on your lives. Tag them on your posts. Don’t say anything that is untrue or that you cannot prove in case they attempt to retaliate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m on a strict budget. A lot has changed for me at home and at work, and as a result, I’ve been socializing much less. Last week was a close friend’s birthday, and I didn’t want to miss out on celebrating her; I reached out to an old colleague, and he gave me four complimentary suite tickets to a concert. I invited the birthday girl and two of our close friends. She was so flattered. When we got to the show, one of the other friends noticed a guy checking her out and went over to talk to him. She told us to go ahead without her, and she’d meet us at our seats. She never did. At the end of the night, she showed up, telling us all about this cute, kind stranger, totally oblivious to the fact that the night was supposed to be in honor of one of our friends.

It really bothered me. Despite my current personal struggles, I wanted to give my friend a special evening; meanwhile, our other friend couldn’t care less. Part of me is peeved because I haven’t spent time with my friends in a long time. I went out of my way to create a fun evening for us, and she didn’t even bother to stay near us. Am I being ridiculous here, or should I say something? -- Mates Before Dates

DEAR MATES BEFORE DATES: Was the birthday girl upset? Is your friend known for straying? You need to pause and assess your reaction to this situation. Yes, you could be overreacting. Sure, your friend should have been there with the group, but it might not be so awful for her to hang out with a cool guy she met. How do your other friends feel about it?

Before you ask, reflect carefully on what happened. What was the general feeling about the evening? If everyone else had a great time, let it go. If they were also upset, say something. But you do need to accept that when you give a gift, you give it freely with no expectation.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Throughout my entire pregnancy, my mom treated me badly. I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant, and she was not happy. Not only was I not married, but I wasn’t in a particularly stable relationship either. She held a grudge, probably out of shame or embarrassment. She barely spoke to me, and when she did, she was not kind.

Eventually, I decided to stop letting shame rule me, and that’s when things got more combative between us. We’d argue because I didn’t want to hear her shrewd comments all day. So I moved out. My daughter is now 5 months old; my mom constantly calls and offers to help, but I still have a lot of resentment for how she treated me during the pregnancy. Should I forgive her and move forward for the sake of my daughter? -- Grandma’s Grudge

DEAR GRANDMA’S GRUDGE: You are probably right. It took your mother a bit to get real about your situation. It can be hard for a mother to witness what could be a big challenge for her daughter. That said, it sounds like she is making the effort to come around. That’s a good thing.

You should forgive her, as forgiveness frees you from pain. You should talk to her; let her know that she hurt you during that incredibly vulnerable time in your life and that you need to know that she will make the effort to be kind and respectful if she gets involved in your life now. Ask her to promise you that. Then welcome her into your family.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few weeks ago, one of my closest friends came to me asking if I thought she should break up with her boyfriend of two years. Their relationship had been rocky for a long time -- she’d vented to me about the constant arguments, feeling unappreciated and how stuck she felt. She seemed truly torn but also emotionally drained. After listening to everything, I told her that if she wasn’t happy and didn’t see a future with him, it might be time to let go. She ended up breaking up with her boyfriend, and now she’s mad at me. She says she misses him terribly and that I “pushed” her into ending it. I’ve tried to remind her that it was ultimately her decision and that I was just being supportive and honest based on what she had told me. She keeps making snide comments like, “Well, you got what you wanted,” as if I broke them up myself. I feel awful that she’s hurting, but also a little confused and hurt myself. I thought I was being a good friend. Was I wrong to give my opinion? -- In the Middle

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: Apologize to your friend for getting involved in her relationship at all. Remind her that you answered a question that she asked you directly. Still, it is not your business, and you won’t make that mistake again. Rarely does it work for people to give input into their friends’ love lives. It’s best to keep your opinion to yourself -- unless you feel your friend is in real danger. Then it’s worth it to lose a friend to save a life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom has always been emotionally distant, and now that I’m an adult, I’m realizing just how much that’s shaped our relationship. Growing up, she wasn’t unkind. She made sure we were fed, clothed and cared for, but she rarely showed affection or talked about feelings. If I ever brought up something emotional or difficult, she would shut down or change the subject. I learned quickly that vulnerability made her uncomfortable, so I stopped trying. Now, as an adult, I want a deeper relationship with her. I try to ask her about her life, her past and her emotions, but she either laughs it off or deflects my questions. It feels like there's a wall between us that I can’t climb over, and I’m left feeling rejected. My sisters and I have talked about this, and they feel it, too, but we don’t know how to approach her without pushing her away even more. How can I have a relationship with someone who avoids closeness? -- Close the Divide

DEAR CLOSE THE DIVIDE: You may have to accept the relationship that you do have with your mother. If she has always been guarded, you are not likely to be able to do anything to get her to change. You can ask her, of course, and tell her how much you long for emotional intimacy with her. Don’t count on getting it. Instead, build close relationships with your siblings and your friends.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents have long been divorced, but over time they became friends. All of their children are adults, which made it easier for them to get along -- they have less to bicker about now. My dad asked my mom for a favor a few months ago when he fell on hard times. He asked if he could stay with her until he found a more affordable housing option for himself. She didn’t like being his first option, so she asked if he’d be able to offer a small fee for the time he’d be with her. He wasn’t in a position to offer a fixed amount, but he agreed to contribute to a bill, groceries and housekeeping whenever he could.

Two months went by, and he didn’t do any of those things. Then he heard my mom needed to repaint her living room and kitchen, and he offered to do it for her. My mom agreed, thinking he was finally making good on his offer to contribute. Once he began painting, he gave my mother an invoice for his services. I am offended! She paid him and said she doesn’t want to be petty by putting him out. I don’t want to meddle, but I think I should say something to my dad. -- Unpaid Dues

DEAR UNPAID DUES: Your mother should not have paid him. Instead, she should have given him an itemized bill for what she thinks would be fair compensation for his contribution to the household while he was there, from which she might deduct his painting fee.

Yes, you should say something to your father, namely that he took advantage of your mother’s kindness. He should apologize and repay her when he has the funds.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)