DEAR HARRIETTE: Before my boyfriend and I were an item, he and his childhood crush dated for almost 10 years and had two children together. Eventually they parted ways, and she moved out west. Since they grew up together, he is still close with her family.

A few days ago, his ex’s mother called and invited him to her birthday party. He told me he’d stop by out of respect. I asked if I could join, and he said it didn’t make much sense since they don’t know me. Later that weekend, he and I were on a date when a woman showed up. He seemed confused but then introduced her as his ex. Apparently, he had told her he was heading out to a bar, but he failed to mention I would be there. She seemed embarrassed. I was caught off guard but handled her presence graciously; I even invited her to have a drink with us. Honestly, I was livid. Why didn’t my boyfriend mention that she was in town when he said he was going to celebrate her mom? Why did she feel comfortable enough to show up and hang out with him without warning? I never felt threatened before, but now I’m having doubts about my boyfriend’s transparency. -- Past, Present, Future?

DEAR PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE?: Tell your boyfriend that in order for your relationship to work, he has to be upfront and transparent about his ex. You need to get to know her and the children if you are to be together. Like it or not, when you have children, the co-parent is part of the package. Find out if he is willing to do what will make you comfortable. Otherwise, cut your losses now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In your reply to “Love That Stray,” the animal shelter volunteer who fell in love with one of the cats, you said that bringing the cat home to an environment where it is not wanted by both people in the house would not be a good idea. I completely agree that this decision should be agreed upon by both her and her boyfriend.

However, as opposed to leaving it at that and leaving the cat at the shelter, there is another option. Most, if not all, shelters offer a trial adoption to see if the animal is a good fit, or a short-term foster, which is an opportunity for the animal to decompress away from the shelter for a little while. Some people will go get an animal for a day and take it to a park or on a walk. Both human and animal are happy when they return.

Maybe Love That Stray could offer one of these options to her boyfriend so he could meet the cat and get a chance to see what it would really be like having it in the home, as opposed to just relying on his imagination. Her boyfriend might end up being pleasantly surprised at how undisruptive and clean most cats are. Who knows, he might even fall in cat-love.

As a side note, I believe if more people took an animal home for a short-term foster week or weekend, they could possibly end up with a love and a joy in their lives that they didn’t know was missing. -- Shelter Volunteer

DEAR SHELTER VOLUNTEER: Brilliant recommendation. Thank you!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I overheard my girlfriend on the phone with someone discussing an important work event she was meant to attend. Her colleague, whom I’ve met a few times, said they’d given her a plus one and mentioned that my girlfriend would probably want to have me there, too. To my surprise, she denied the need for a plus one, saying that I didn’t need to be there and that she’d rather fly solo this time around. For some reason, hearing her refusal really stung. I didn’t confront her because I didn’t want to cause any friction over something that was important to her. Still, her tone that day hasn’t left me.

At other events, I’ve been whisked away during certain meetings or conversations before -- asked to refill a drink, pointed in the direction of a sports game on the nearest television or interrupted and spoken over. Now this is making me wonder if my girlfriend is embarrassed by me. If so, what do I do? -- No Plus One

DEAR NO PLUS ONE: At a time when there are no distractions, ask your girlfriend to talk. Tell her about the call you overheard and how you recalled a number of incidents where you felt she shooed you away during work functions. Ask her pointedly why she feels uncomfortable having you with her in these settings. Is it something you say or do? Is it how you present yourself? Be direct, even if it is uncomfortable.

You can either work this out and find a way to grow together or not, but you shouldn’t be forced to stay in limbo. I have a client who told me recently that as he is building his business, he needs his girlfriend to step up her social skills, so they talk about it often. If she needs that or something else from you, you two should discuss it and make a plan together. If it’s something different, you need to know that, too, so you can react accordingly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: About six years ago, my cousin stopped talking to me. One day I woke up and discovered that she had blocked me from all her social platforms. The next time I saw her -- by chance in our neighborhood -- I waved, and she ignored me. We grew up like siblings. When she had her first child, I was with her every step of the way. This cold shoulder caught me by surprise. Nevertheless, it’s lasted six years.

Recently, at large family gatherings I notice her trying to be cordial. She’ll join a group picture even when I’m in it. She mentions to others that she likes my outfit or will hand me a plate on the buffet line. I find it pathetic. For her to be as awful as she was when she cut me out of her life -- for reasons I still don’t know -- I expect an equally bold apology if she wants this dust to settle. Apparently, she’s had conversations with other family members claiming she doesn’t have an issue with me. Should I address this? -- Family Betrayal

DEAR FAMILY BETRAYAL: Yes. Reach out to your cousin. Schedule a time to meet, and ask her what’s up. Why did she ghost you six years ago? Why is she acting like nothing happened? If she wants a relationship with you, the two of you have to hash it out. She has to be honest.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am struggling right now, emotionally and financially. My tenants haven’t paid their rent in months! I try to remain passive about it, as I am relying on the legal system to settle this issue, but my son is infuriated. Every day we see our tenants get dressed, head to work, bring home groceries, order takeout, host guests and game nights and so much more. They are rude to us when we cross paths. They seem to have no shame about not paying, and the more arrogant they are toward us, the harder it is to temper my son’s rage. How can I get him to recognize how critical it is for him to get a handle on his demeanor? I don’t want to give anyone any reason to sympathize with or justify our tenants’ behavior. -- Overstayed Welcome

DEAR OVERSTAYED WELCOME: First, you must be sure to provide formal written notice of the amount of rent that is overdue and give a deadline by which it must be paid. Be sure to save copies of all correspondence you send them. If they do not pay by the deadline, consult a lawyer about how to initiate eviction proceedings.

If you do not want to go the eviction route, create a plan of attack. Contact the police and document the crime your tenants are committing in not paying rent. Get on the record. Reach out to local media -- call the newspapers and TV and radio stations -- and out these people for the criminals they are. Create a sincere social media blast that describes in detail what these people have been doing and what the impact has been on your lives. Tag them on your posts. Don’t say anything that is untrue or that you cannot prove in case they attempt to retaliate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m on a strict budget. A lot has changed for me at home and at work, and as a result, I’ve been socializing much less. Last week was a close friend’s birthday, and I didn’t want to miss out on celebrating her; I reached out to an old colleague, and he gave me four complimentary suite tickets to a concert. I invited the birthday girl and two of our close friends. She was so flattered. When we got to the show, one of the other friends noticed a guy checking her out and went over to talk to him. She told us to go ahead without her, and she’d meet us at our seats. She never did. At the end of the night, she showed up, telling us all about this cute, kind stranger, totally oblivious to the fact that the night was supposed to be in honor of one of our friends.

It really bothered me. Despite my current personal struggles, I wanted to give my friend a special evening; meanwhile, our other friend couldn’t care less. Part of me is peeved because I haven’t spent time with my friends in a long time. I went out of my way to create a fun evening for us, and she didn’t even bother to stay near us. Am I being ridiculous here, or should I say something? -- Mates Before Dates

DEAR MATES BEFORE DATES: Was the birthday girl upset? Is your friend known for straying? You need to pause and assess your reaction to this situation. Yes, you could be overreacting. Sure, your friend should have been there with the group, but it might not be so awful for her to hang out with a cool guy she met. How do your other friends feel about it?

Before you ask, reflect carefully on what happened. What was the general feeling about the evening? If everyone else had a great time, let it go. If they were also upset, say something. But you do need to accept that when you give a gift, you give it freely with no expectation.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)