DEAR HARRIETTE: I work remotely, and while I’ve enjoyed the flexibility and freedom it provides, I’ve started to feel increasingly isolated and unmotivated. At first, it felt like a dream: no commute, more control over my schedule and the comfort of home. Lately, I’ve noticed that I’m missing the daily interactions, spontaneous conversations and overall sense of community that comes from being in a physical workspace. Most of my communication with co-workers is confined to emails or scheduled video calls, which makes it hard to feel connected to the team. I find myself feeling drained and uninspired, even though I still like the actual work I do. Some days, I barely speak to anyone at all, and I’ve started to worry that this lack of connection is taking a toll on my mental health and productivity.

I’ve been thinking about looking for a hybrid position, something that would offer a better balance between remote work and in-person interaction, but I’m not sure if that’s the right move or if I need to adjust my current routine. How can I stay connected, motivated and productive in a remote setting, or is it time to consider a change? -- Isolated

DEAR ISOLATED: Working remotely does not work for everyone, as you are seeing. Yes, it is smart to look for another job that is better balanced for your needs. Meanwhile, schedule after-work activities that put you in the company of other people. Join a book club that meets in person. Volunteer at a local museum or retirement home. Take an art class. Don’t sit at home alone. Put yourself out there with others.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been together for about four years now, and we finally decided to move in together about a month ago. Unfortunately, my partner smokes cigarettes at night. He insists that it’s the only thing that helps him sleep. I’ve encouraged him to try melatonin, different teas and even therapy, but he chooses to stick with his cigarettes. I’ve always known this about him, but now that we live together, it bothers me more than in the past; I had never actually seen him smoke a cigarette until now. It rubs me the wrong way for a number of reasons, and I don’t know what to do about it, seeing as I’ve let it go on for so long. Can I demand that he quit a habit I’ve been sort of complicit in for the past four years? -- Smoking Habit

DEAR SMOKING HABIT: Smoking is an addiction, so it’s not a simple thing to get someone to quit. What you may be able to do is to put some boundaries around this behavior. You can request no smoking inside the house so that your home does not smell like smoke. You can also request that he brush his teeth and wash his face after smoking so that the residue of smoke doesn’t end up in your bed. In the end, if it really is too much for you to handle, this could be a deal-breaker for your relationship -- or at least for the two of you to live together.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My aunt is hosting an old friend of hers, “Fran,” who moved here for more work opportunities. Fran arrived nearly two years ago as travel nursing became increasingly popular and lucrative in the post-pandemic era. Originally, Fran moved in because she was trying to save money; since my aunt and her husband live by themselves and they have lots of room to spare, they invited Fran to stay longer.

Fran goes everywhere with my aunt and uncle -- and often goes out with just my uncle. If I’m being frank, a lot of people in my family are concerned about the dynamic between Fran and my aunt’s husband. They seem cozy and even flirtatious around each other. Obviously, these sorts of concerns are delicate. I’d hate to make an accusation, but I feel uncomfortable whenever I see them together. Would I be overstepping by expressing this concern to my aunt? -- Third Wheel

DEAR THIRD WHEEL: You are right -- this is a delicate situation, but it is also something worth addressing. Speak to your aunt privately and tell her you want to make an uncomfortable observation. With her blessing, tell her what you’ve seen. Let her know that you have no evidence of any inappropriate behavior, but your gut tells you that she should beware. Then, leave it alone. People live with all manner of dynamics in their lives. Your aunt may be OK with whatever is happening. You will have done your duty by informing her of your suspicions so she can take action if she chooses.

DEAR HARRIETTE: For the past year, I’ve been supporting my younger brother financially because our parents have refused to help him. He’s been struggling to keep up with rent, bills and basic expenses, and I felt like I couldn’t just stand by and watch him sink further. At first, it was manageable. I helped him out here and there, covered small emergencies and offered advice. Lately, it feels like he’s become completely dependent on me. Whenever he faces any money issue, he turns to me immediately without trying to solve things himself. Meanwhile, I’m starting to run low on my own savings, and it’s becoming stressful and unsustainable. I want to see him succeed and be independent, but I don’t know how to encourage that without cutting him off completely or making him feel abandoned. I’ve tried talking about budgeting and financial planning, but he gets defensive or just ignores the advice. I’m torn between wanting to help and needing to set boundaries for my own well-being. How do I support him in a way that pushes him toward responsibility without damaging our relationship? -- Time To Fly

DEAR TIME TO FLY: Make a budget and determine how much you can afford to give your brother monthly. Tell him the amount that you can offer over the next six- or 12-month period. Suggest that he figure out a way to cover the rest of his expenses as he also plans to be financially independent by the deadline. Stick to your plan and wean him off of your resources. When you get to the end of the term, stop giving him money. It may be hard for both of you, but it will force him to step up.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in midtown Manhattan, and as you probably know, there was a mass shooting there recently. New York City is known for its chaos, but this still feels so unreal to me. I work in the building immediately next door to the one this gunman targeted. Luckily, I happened to leave work just early enough to avoid the awful experience that day, but for some reason, I am still rattled. I have had a really difficult time going back to my office. I feel uneasy and paranoid, if I’m being honest. As I commute into work, my mind races with panicked thoughts. This is new to me. My train ride is usually when I read or listen to soothing music before starting my day, but now it’s a whirlwind of thoughts and worries, which makes for a bad start to my day. Why am I feeling so panicked when this technically didn’t happen to me? -- Trauma Adjacent

DEAR HARRIETTE: My dad is diabetic. My siblings and I all live separately, so we hadn’t realized that he was neglecting his medication. We learned of this only when my mom called us to the hospital and told us that our dad had had a stroke. Thankfully, it was minor (so the doctors say). He regained all movement in his body after a day, but he has temporarily lost vision in his left eye.

My dad is in his 60s. To me, he is too young to be experiencing this. He told us that he does his best to remember to take his medication, but it is not his priority. He has the option to retire, but he chooses not to. I’ve tried pleading with him the past few weeks, but he’s headstrong and doesn’t like it when we hover or send him reminders. I understand that his work is important to him; I just wish his life was, too. How can I get through to my dad? -- Hard-Headed Dad

DEAR HARD-HEADED DAD: Can your mom help monitor your father’s actions? As difficult as this may be, he does need to take his medication on time. Perhaps she can organize it for him and offer it to him on a schedule. Does his insurance allow for an outside agency to come in to monitor his medicine? At least while he’s recovering from the stroke, it would be extremely helpful for him to be aided in this capacity. Check to see what his insurance will allow in terms of caregiving.

Apart from that, sit down and talk with him and your mother. Let him know how much he is loved and how important it is for him to be more vigilant about his health. Encourage him to step up for himself -- and for you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)